I am sensing that this is going to be one of those blathery posts. I don't have a clear topic in mind, yet I am writing. Usually not a good sign. Still, we all need to clear our minds now and again. Some of us more than others.
- My car wouldn't start last night. I pretty much know what the problem is and hopefully it won't be too costly to repair. I went out to the parking lot after I got off work and it was a no go. I called Kick Back Dude, who lives very near by, and he came to my rescue. I had to let my Auto Club go, even though I knew I'd regret it, but luckily he still has his. Yay! He had my car towed to WTG's house, where his 'guy' can work on it. I was able to borrow Secret Agent Man's car for today. Anyway, I hate my car. No, I love it, but it is frustrating me. Still and all, I was lucky. I was able to get me and my car home, plus have a loaner for today. So, the whole thing could have been much worse.
- I am sick of the Presidential race. I wish it were over, one way or the other. Well, I have my preference, but I am just sick to death of the rhetoric and the posturing and even the comedic takes on the candidates' collective stupidity. And there is the pessimistic and dare I say, realistic side of me, that feels no matter who is elected things aren't going to go so well for the foreseeable future. So, uh, vote AlienCG 2008. ;-p
- I was kind of a bad friend, but it was unintentional. I hadn't heard from Team C in awhile. I emailed him nearly a month ago and hadn't heard back...I didn't follow up with a phone call or anything, I just waited. And instead of assuming something might be up, of course Miss Low Self-Esteem went right to - Well, he is clearly blowing me off here. So, a couple days ago I sent off this rather snooty little message, very "it's been great knowing you" sort of thing. I don't know why...maybe just feeling low, you know? He called me right away apologizing and telling me this truly awful story about a family problem that he's been dealing with. I felt like such an ass. He did too, actually. He was so sorry he hadn't spoken to me about what was going on...he had wanted to talk to me, but had felt so overwhelmed with what he was dealing with...he wouldn't have hurt me for the world. Geez, I felt awful, but of course how could I have known? And he understood that and we made up. I do feel like I need to sometimes stop and realize that not everything is about me. In fact, very few things actually are!
- My Onion Personals friend, the Activist, is still emailing me and calling me, but we don't seem any closer to actually meeting. It's a bit silly. I think we are both way too shy and hesitant and afraid of overstepping somehow. This seems more and more destined to be a common interests, isn't it cool we found each other, but that's as far as it goes sort of friendship. Well, thats fine. It's good. But damn, you know? I am sort of hoping to actually date at some point. It might not happen in this lifetime. Maybe next time round, if one believes in that sort of thing....
- And...I guess that is it. I have spilled my guts. I think it helped me, as it usually does. Not sure what it did for you, but if you are still reading you rock, man. Have a great weekend. ♥
4 comments:
I hope someone can get your car fixed soon. I hate being without a car, even though sometimes I hate driving. It's nice to have wheels.
We sound so alike about thinking that so-and-so is blowing us off because they haven't contacted us. I try not to jump to that conclusion, but it's hard sometimes. Depends on the mood. It would've been nice for him to at least respond to your email and say he'd get back to you soon or something, but at least it was cleared up soon after.
Hope to see you up and driving your own car real soon..
I always tend to think that my friends blow me off whene they really aren't. I get all uptight about it and wonder all sorts of scenarios.. meanwhile I make a even bigger fool of myself.. so now you know that you aren't alone with the low self esteem..
Here's the thing. You can't help it if the guy doesn't let you know what's going on. We've all dated enough to know that if someone doesn't contact you for a while, it usually means they're not interested. It only takes 5 minutes to contact someone and tell them something's going on and you'll get back to them. You shouldn't feel bad about it at all.
I know how you feel. I've collected a lot of guy friends recently, but it sure would be nice to be in a healthy relationship.
Tara: I never want my car more than when I don't have it :-) Typical.
Yeah, it was awkward, but since we both had something to feel bad about that somehow made it better.
Mrs: One of my main goals in life it so to try not to say things I am going to regret. Sometimes it is such a challenge and it is impossible to have a perfect track record...but we're trying, right?
Churlita: Thanks Churlita. I am a really patient person and if someone just give me a little something to go on I am usually fine.
A nice healthy relationship...I can't remember what that is like. *sigh*
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