Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Do Your Deep Breathing, Dear

I am trying to stay calm as things around me accelerate. My consolation is that this pace will not continue for much longer. Things will calm down at work in a matter of days. At home, it might take longer, but it will normalize eventually!

I have done a bit of reading. I don't believe I've mentioned my last two books, Goodbye Jimmy Choo and The World Below. The first was light reading, pleasant. The second was a wonderful treat. I do like my little escapes, especially and in spite of, the messes around me.

Haiku #63

What was wrong with me?
When you skated with me, Bill
I should have been nice

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Put a Call In To FEMA

Over the weekend we had a flood at the house. Somehow, mysteriously, when no one was home, the toilet tank began running and then overflowing. It probably ran for a couple of hours until someone came home and walked right into a couple of inches of water throughout most of the house. We cleaned up as best we could, but decided to call the homeowners insurance company in case it was something they should be handling. Turned out it is a coverable loss. For now, we have the baseboards torn out, things piled up in rooms and these huge fans and dehumidifiers everywhere. It is incredibly noisy. It wasn't clear to me how long that would continue. I do know the insurance is going to pay for new paint for the walls in several rooms, new laminate flooring in the livingroom, new carpets in three bedrooms, and a new cabinet in the bathroom. WTG is elated to get all this stuff. I am just mostly annoyed by the hassle of it all. The kids are displaced and I found myself practically begging a couple of them to please stay with friends for a night or two, at least until the big fans are gone. Naturally, though they have spent a large part of the summer roaming the town, these are the nights they just must stay in. Makes the sleeping arrangements so much more interesting, what with everyone having only two untouched bedrooms to chose from... *sigh* That was my long suffering sigh :-)

Haiku #62

You were big and blonde
Tapped for the gifted program
Bill Smith didn't care

Friday, July 21, 2006

Another One Down

I can't believe another week has passed. Only two more to go in this year's SRP. I am alone here today, but have had desk help from other departments. The only trouble is that the teen volunteers are taking advantage of my good nature. Man, I can't wait to be through with them!
I just got the cutest shirt! It looks like this. It is actually the Mens version. Cute, eh?
Have a great weekend. You know you want to!

Haiku #61

Dori you seemed sweet
I was so intrigued by you
Another girl crush

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Haiku #60

Beautiful Donna
When you got a short haircut
I longed for one too

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Haiku #59

Delilah Forness
Might have turned out quite pretty
Back then you scared me

No News is Good News?

I don't know if this is necessarily true. It is true that I have no news. Things have calmed down a bit inside and outside my own head :-) That's got to be good. Still I wish for something interesting to write. Um, lets see...would you be fascinated to know that I am really looking forward to "So You Think You Can Dance?" It has become a Wednesday evening tradition to motor on over to the mini family's apartment, have some supper, and watch the latest installment. Certainly, it is pure cheese, but you may recall my fondness for that other slice "American Idol" I figure my poor taste hurts no one and it is good family bonding time!
Swordsman has deigned to write to me a bit over the past couple of days. He doesn't seem to understand the extreme brevity of my attention span. I need something! Summertime is hard though...I am thinking of it as a vacation from his certain brand of intensity. At least I have Team C, who is almost steady as a rock.

Monday, July 17, 2006

The Return of the Real l.b.

Whew, I am feeling much, much better this week *knock on wood*. I got some sleep in time both yesterday and today, plus there has been a cease fire called at home. Yesterday, WTG and I even ventured out to a movie together, the one activity we can both enjoy without argument. The movie was The Oh in Ohio. I guess it hasn't been getting very good reviews, but I really enjoyed it. I do like Parker Posey a lot.
I've been listening to my new cds, including Dear Catastrophe Waitress, which I like more than The Boy with the Arab Strap, but a bit less, so far, than The Life Pursuit. I also, as I mentioned, replaced the Ditty Bops first cd and got a copy of their new cd Moon Over the Freeway. Ah, love them Dittys....

Haiku #58

Way down our long street
The Penkova family
There were lots of you

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Almost Myself

I am feeling better today, thank you. Fortunately, even when I feel my worst I am pretty aware that those lows don't last long. I had a fairly quiet day yesterday, with no fighting or petty drama. That alone was helpful. I am living embodiment of the "I'm a Lover, Not a Fighter" creedo.
Even the work day is being cooperative for me. It is not as busy as it could be for a Saturday. I am not really doing what I should be though, which is spending more of my off desk time perusing the shelves, helping the desk person, riding roughshod over the teen volunteers...I'm doing this instead!
I could also be reading another draft of the Swordsman's novella. I have been enjoying editing it and giving my little suggestions. I just haven't been able to give it attention lately. Likewise, he hasn't been able to give me attention lately. Perhaps the two things go hand in hand.

Haiku #57

Flo Fels from the block
I barely remember you
Mom said you were spoiled

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Haiku #56

Long ago neighbors
Tim, Lauren, and Greggy John
Dig that crazy name

It Seems to be Time for a Mental Vacation

I have been feeling so down and tired the past couple of days. I did have my sweet little Team C event yesterday. I love that time and the way I feel when I'm with him. It is so quickly back to reality, though. Yesterday and today I have felt distracted and busy, but I think I am only feeling busy because I am so distracted if that makes sense. There is nothing but tension at home. It exhausts me so.
Then my son had his cardiology appointment today. I gratefully received the news that there is nothing wrong with him. They couldn't even find the murmur that the original doctor claimed to have heard. Ah, and does anything else really matter when you find out your child is healthy? It shouldn't, but still...
I am just so depleted emotionally that I cried today for the longest time when this new person at work asked me when I was "due". Okay, I'm not pregnant, of course, but I do have the residual pouch of five pregnancies. I could lose a few, you know? Given how fragile I was feeling today, I just didn't need that little oops moment. I'm sure she was embarrassed. But I felt like complete shit, believe me.
Ah, enough whining, right? I have a day off tomorrow. I pray that WTG will vacate or that I can find a way to vacate myself and perhaps by Saturday I will be feeling sassy again.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Promised More

Okay, I will expand a little on what I said yesterday. Here is what happened over the weekend, in brief, WTG called up the house Sunday morning and said we should find something to do out of the house, because the cleaning lady was coming over (even though she wasn't supposed to come until next weekend). Don't think I'm a lazy rich person for having a cleaning lady. She only comes twice a month to do a much more competant job than any of us seem capable of of deep cleaning the livingroom, the kitchen, and the two bathrooms. So, anyway, I'm wondering why WTG has her coming on a Sunday, but I really didn't think that much about it, truthfully. He does whatever whenever. I went to the bank to get her some $$, put in an envelope with her name on it, gather up the youngests and left the premises. A few hours later, I get another call from WTG saying she wasn't going to come after all, but had I left the money. I said yes and he claimed he couldn't find it anywhere. I told him where I left it and that was the end of that convo. The next morning he calls up and asks if I got into his wallet, as $40 was missing. Uh, no, of course not. End of call. Then when he comes in later, he accuses anyone sitting in the livingroom of creeping into his wallet in the middle of the night and taking part of the money that he had 'ta da!' miraculously found at some point...the cleaning lady's money...the one who didn't come. Okay, so now he has the money, but part of it is mysteriously gone. And by this point in the insanity I am feeling quite hesitant to ask for the rest of it, you know, pay the cleaning lady when she actually does come next weekend...
So, apparently I am out double this time around and the whole thing was just extremely weird. I think, too, that he only told us she was coming to begin with to get us out of the house for the day (we don't like to be in the way, and plus we feel really awkward watching her clean, so we always leave when she's there).
I don't know...the whole thing just vexed me. And that is that story.
I have just started a new book called Intuition. Also I got one of my Amazon cds today. It is The Boy with the Arab Strap by Belle and Sebastian. I have only recently really become interested in them, so now I am adding them to my collection a bit. I have one more of theirs coming, plus I am replacing my wrecked copy of the first Ditty Bops cd along with their latest. I expect them all soon. I think that is all I ordered...yeah, that's it.
Whew, this has been a long one. Thank you for bearing with me. OH! Almost forgot, and how could I? Team C meets tomorrow, hallelujah!!!

Haiku #55

You were the baby
Of the family next door
Little Anthony

Monday, July 10, 2006

Maybe Crime Does Pay!

This weekend was okay. It was very, very hot, so we swam and stayed indoors mostly. Ate out a couple times, rented a couple movies. Oh, yeah, and WTG took the money I left for the cleaning lady. What a great guy. Monday is ridiculous here, as always, so I will have to follow up on this for you tomorrow. Aw, lawdie, I am soooo tired.

Haiku #54

A blast from the past
Its Michael Bustamonte
Now dating my sis!

Friday, July 7, 2006

How It All Went

Last night...well, I have to give it mixed reviews. The concert was great fun. Entertainment and companywise the evening gets an A+. However, it just wouldn't be an evening out without the homestead apparently (but not actually) falling apart in my absence. I don't dare turn off my cell, because one of the kids could genuinely need to get ahold of me. I sometimes long for pre-cell phone days when you could just be unavailable legitimately! So, I did, throughout the evening, get a series of unkind phone calls from WTG. Not sure why it is anything to him, but he cannot stand for me to have any fun at all. He kept calling with his various complaints about me dumping everything on him...blah, blah, blah... So, WTG gets an F, as usual for F-ed up behavior. Evenings like that I am almost ready for making the move to someone's couch or whatever in order to give up what sometimes seems to be an impossible living arrangement.
Okay, enough whining. The Shins and Belle & Sebastian put on sweet little shows. The Hollywood Bowl is always such a nice venue, especially on these warm summer evenings. The people we went with, really Milly's friends, always make me feel like I am their friend too and I appreciate that very much.
I just picked up a new book today. It is called Big Cats. I first became aware of this short story collection when reading an article about Rainn Wilson, who I adore. Holiday Reinhorn, his wife, was mentioned in the story and I thought the girl married to Rainn couldn't possibly be anything but a fab writer. I am enjoying the collection thus far, for sure.
Well, the weekend is upon us. I wish you all a great one. You deserve it!

Haiku #53

Nancy and Gary
Sort of a nightmare version
Of swinging parents

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Haiku #52

At our Junior High
Our two names went side by side
Frances Bryant, me.

Really Big Sheeewwww!

Me and Milly are off to a concert tonight. I am so excited. I love live music and could sure use a night out. We are going to see The Shins and Belle & Sebastian at The Hollywood Bowl. The S's and another friend of Milly's are going too. It should really be a fun night. On the way in we are going to stop at Zankou Chicken for our dinner. Then, once we get there, we can picnic!
I have things all set up at home so that the two youngest ones will be off to the sub family's house for dinner and evening entertainments. All I have to do is pick them up on my way back in. Tomorrow, I'll let you know how it all went.

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

l.b.'s Picks

These are the books I chose when one of the librarians asked for staff picks for her book display:

Saint Maybe - Anne Tyler
Underground - Haruki Murakami
Wild Ducks Flying Backwards - Tom Robbins
Disobedience - Jane Hamilton
The Age of Grief - Jane Smiley
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab - Gideon Defoe
America the Beautiful - Moon Zappa
Which Way to the Vomitorium: Vernacular Latin for All Occasions - Lesley O'Mara
High Fidelity - Nick Hornby
Let It Be - Colin Meloy

Not, strictly speaking, a clear Top 10 list, but still some good stuff, eh? :-)

Did You Celebrate Your Independence?

Yesterday was Independence Day and I couldn't help wishing for my own independence. Not exactly is more obscure than that. I am independent, as far as it goes, but I can't help feeling that there are still plenty of things holding me back (um, no, not my children!) But, it is something to strive towards and it is always good to have ambitions :-)

Up to a point it was a good holiday. WTG and I did manage to get into a fairly nasty fight, which always affects my littlest son the most as he always seems to be nearby, while the others are so busy. Fortunately little guy and I were invited to go out to a fireworks show with my sister and nephew. When we got to the stadium, my nephew, who is 15 took my son inside the venue to watch the monster truck and motocross show while my sister and I sat out in the parking lot talking. When the firework portion of the show started, the boys came back out and we all sat in the parking lot watching. It was a lovely show, but seemed so short. At any rate, we all had a pretty good time in the end and were pleased that the day wasn't completely trashed. The other kids were occupied having fun with their friends in the case of sons #2 & 3 and with each other and the mini family in the case of son #1 and my daughter. WTG sat at home alone stewing in his evil juices. WTG can go f*ck himself.

When I came in this morning, I talked briefly to Team C and we are hopeful about getting ourselves together next week. Man, a meeting would be so good right about now. As for that Swordsman, he is around and about online, but an actual face-to-face is looking distant, all obstacles considered. I can live with the wait.

Once again, I find myself searching for something to read. Over the weekend I read Daniel Isn't Talking. It was quite good, but now I'd like to find something a little more....I'm not sure. I'll just have to have a look around I guess.

Haiku #51

You were the others
Danny, Terry, Anita
All messed up somehow

Monday, July 3, 2006

Saturday, July 1, 2006

Oh, Say Can You See?

Just wanted to make a quick post here, as I haven't had a chance in a couple of days. It is stupid busy here. Lots of people seem to get a long weekend, with Independence Day falling on a Tuesday this makes sense to have Monday off too, no? No. Not for us. I am here today, a Saturday, and Monday as well. No biggie though. What would I be doing anyway? Nada.
I do need to find something to read before I leave today, but aside from that I am just hoping to make it through the next hour or so in one piece.
Send some good thoughts my way, please :-)

Haiku #49

Always your full name
Sue Searcy was so rhythmic
Parents, do they think?