Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New Years Eve 1992/93

I was going to write about my happiest New Years Eve, but instead this particular one keeps pressing in on me. Maybe writing it down will shoo it away.

I was heavily pregnant with my fourth child. The others were 7, 6, and 3. I was so tired. But it was New Years Eve. The two oldest boys were desperate to try and make it until midnight. WTG talked all day about how New Years Eve was for amateurs and he knew it was a stupid night to go out...not that it had stopped him any other year. My due date was officially January 2. I assure you, I was quite miserable. I begged him to stay home and help the boys have a nice time. I really was just longing to lie down. He left, under the pretext of just stopping by a friend's house for a few minutes...he'd be right back. I tried calling him later, where he said he'd be. No cell phones then. I planned to lie and say I felt I was going into labor if I could get ahold of him. But I didn't have to lie, as he remained unreachable.

I sat listlessly on the couch watching the boys drop off one by one, defeated by their normal sleep schedules in spite of their excitement. I slept too, off and on, uncomfortable and angry and feeling helpless. WTG wandered in late the following afternoon. And so began another new year.

There is a happy p.s. to this bummer post. My daughter arrived on January 4th, healthy and lovely. It was so easy to put everything else out of my mind when I looked at my beautiful children.

And another upside...I will probably be sitting here in my apartment alone on this particular New Years Eve. I have made no plans. But it still has that NYE beat! Woot.


Not Fainthearted said...

Wow. That is not a happy memory, is it.

Here's hoping to purging those old demons in 2009...

(p.s. Your youngest is about the same age as my DS2)


laura b. said...

NFH: I've got a bagful just like it, but I am purging like a maniac :-)
That is my second youngest, Girlie Girl, almost 16. Yet that could have all happened yesterday it is so clear.
Pax and lux NFH!

Churlita said...

That's so sad. How much better to be home and relaxed, instead of waiting for someone to come home, who should want to stay with you. Don't you feel a million times better in your life now?

laura b. said...

Churlita: I do feel a million times better. This year was a bit sad, but not nearly as sad as that!

Tara said...

Boy, for a guy who dismisses New Year's Eve as for amateurs, he certainly didn't hesitate to leave his family in the dust. What an asshole. I'm so sorry he did that to you.

There are more upsides, though..Not only did you have kids that turned out to be, thankfully, more like you, you also had the courage to get the hell out of the WTG situation in 2008! You rock.