Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I Guess It's Official. I'm Not Jewish.

Tahiti 80 have this song called "Puzzle" with these lyrics that come to me every so often when I am in my el sensitivo moods.

You know that's why
I'd like to be somebody else.
Somebody without feelings,
Only sensations and money.


Doesn't that sound better some days?

Well anyway, Hormonia McWeepy was inhabiting my body this morning. I got this painfully earnest email from ML, this guy I went out with a couple of weeks ago. We hadn't spoken since then, a couple of blah blah blah emails, so I had really put the man out of my mind. Okay, so this morning I received this email...clearly he's been agonizing over what to do about me! I guess I should say, as I hadn't mentioned, he is very Jewish. But, you know, conflicted or whatever right now. None of that matters to me, as someone's religion is pretty irrelevant to me unless they try to push it on me. Anyway, I mention it now, because that was what he was struggling with, I guess. He realized when he remarries it will have to be someone Jewish...and he also realized he isn't the kind of man who can just go out and have fun or whatever, unless he can follow through and of course as I am not Jewish, he cannot lead me on and he feels so bad and really on and on! The whole thing made me feel awful! I mean, I was frankly incredibly touched...but also kind of astounded that for the past two weeks this poor man has been struggling with this! When I think back, I realize the whole making out in the car thing may have been a lot for him to handle. When he left me, he said something about it being the greatest experience of his life...which I didn't repeat here, because...you know...who says that! It was sweet, but I just thought he was sort of caught up in the moment or whatever. Anyway, so he finally brings himself to write me this email apologizing, explaining himself. It broke my heart. Not because I imagined a future, but because I just hadn't given the whole thing much thought at all. I guess this is where my relative lack of experience is really put painfully into the spotlight. I may never date again. Geez.

11 comments:

MrManuel said...

Aww, that sucks. But really, what can you do in this situation? It sounds like you made an impression DESPITE not being Jewish so that should be a positive. No?

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

well I think it's sad that he agonized over it.. at least he is upfront and honest with you now and you can move on if need be.. he does sound sweet and hopefully you can still be friends...

laura b. said...

MrManuel: It seems I did make an impression of some sort. He's a nice guy and I hope he meets a very nice, very Jewish woman :-)

Mrs: I appreciated the follow through. He is very sweet and I'd love to be his friend, but for him it doesn't seem he feels that is an option.

Churlita said...

i don't get why he didn't find out if you were Jewish BEFORE you guys met. Especially since it was such a big deal. At least you know you've still got it and sometimes it's nice to be reminded of that.

Tara said...

I agree with Mr. Manuel, you did make quite an impression on him. And if religion was so important to him in the first place, he should've been honest from the start.

laura b. said...

Churlita: He always knew I wasn't Jewish. Apparently he thought he could act like it wasn't a big deal and just date who he wanted casually. Then he realized he wasn't the casual type.
There is an element of sort of pride in feeling like you've shaken up someone's world a bit, but mostly I just feel sorry that he feels so limited.

Tara: Yes, mostly he should have been more honest with himself about how important it was. Acting like it's not important isn't the same thing as it not being important and I think he hadn't thought that through.

Pamela said...

I agree with Churlita. But at least you learned that if someone is really Jewish, they can't be NOT serious. I have heard this story many times.

laura b. said...

NoRegrets: haha! I guess it is true...if someone is "really" anything there is going to be some sort of condition involved, no matter how much they'd like to pretend it ain't so.

Not Fainthearted said...

Mazeltov! I mean, how often do we get to be the key player in someone's journey of self-awareness?

Ok. I'm only partly sarcastic. Really, this guy learned a lot about himself, somewhat at your expense. The good news is that it doesn't sound like you were obsessing.

Not Fainthearted said...

Mazeltov! I mean, how often do we get to be the key player in someone's journey of self-awareness?

Ok. I'm only partly sarcastic. Really, this guy learned a lot about himself, somewhat at your expense. The good news is that it doesn't sound like you were obsessing.

laura b. said...

NFH: Ha! Now that you mention it, this isn't the first time I have seemed to be the driving force behind someone coming to terms with something about themselves. I have to wonder what thats about!