Stole this off Eclectic Spaghetti. I can't match Tara for the funny, but you know how I love me a good meme :-)
1) My mother once: fell for a much younger man.
2) Never in my life: have I gotten high. Uh, no, natural highs don't count here...
3) When I was five: I was easier to manage, because I started school and had something to do with my mental energy.
4) High school was/is: a fun, happy time in my life.
5) I will never forget: how it felt when my kids were small and I could keep them all in one place :-)
6) I once met: Whoopi Goldberg. She's nice!
7) There’s this person I know who: seems to have a new pair of shoes for every conceivable occasion.
8) Once, at a bar: I danced with a guy who made me feel like I could actually dance!
9) By noon I’m usually: ready for a little nap. haha!
10) Last night I: had wings and fries while watching The Office with Kick Back Dude and Princess Diva.
11) If only I had: a slightly larger salary.
12) Next time I go to church/temple: will be for someone's wedding or funeral.
13) Terri Schiavo: is at peace.
14) I like: reading...a lot.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: the pictures on the wall of my cubicle.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: the pictures on the wall of my cubicle.
17) You know I’m lying when: I talk a little faster...it is pretty obvious.
18) In junior high: everything seemed larger than life and sometimes confusing.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I think I'd hope to be a male character because they seemed to have all the fun.
20) By this time next year I: have every hope that I will still be working towards more self-confidence.
21) A better name for me would be: Whiny McWhinerson
22) I have a hard time understanding: some people's mercurial mood changes.
23) If I ever go back to school, I’ll: finally get my MLS.
24) You know I like you if: I try to get you to read books I've read or watch shows I like.
25) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: my mama and gawd!
26) I hope that: the next 33 days or so go quickly.
27) Take my advice: go ahead and say yes.
28) My ideal breakfast is: fluffy waffles with plenty of syrup and maybe some bacon.
29) A song I love but do not have is: "Shoop" by Salt n Pepa...why don't I have this?
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: that you plan to be busy...there is lots to see and do!
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips and track stars: are all subjects featured in songs by Belle and Sebastian.
32) Why won’t anyone: learn to use the library catalog?
33) If you spend the night at my house: we can stay up all night talking...and there may be snacks involved.
34) I’d stop my wedding: when I woke up screaming, I imagine.
35) The world could do without: shoes for infants.
36) I’d rather lick the belly of a roach than: um...other parts of a roach?
37) My favorite thing is: feeling understood.
38) Paper clips are more useful than: paper cuts.
39) And by the way:... it's NOT that common, it DOESN'T happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal!
40) The last time I was (really) drunk: was in the last millenium.
41) My grandmother always: kind of scared me.