Thursday, May 17, 2012

String Cheese Theory

Since Tara asked, I thought I'd write a little post about DR's String Cheese Theory...not to be confused with String Theory or  The String Cheese Incident!  It is a fairly simple theory about how the way that you eat a piece of string cheese tells the viewer something about your personality. Specifically, he believes that the tinier the strings you peel off the more whimsical and fun loving you are. People who peel off bigger chunks are more practical and earthbound. If you just take a bite...well, basically you are a course beast.

The theory makes sense until you consider how I eat string cheese. I like a fairly substantial chunk because I want some satisfaction. On occasion, I have been known to bite right in!  And I am very fucking whimsical!  haha! Okay...maybe I'm not...I just like to think that I am. *sigh*

So...what do you think? Is DR's String Cheese Theory accurate?     

10 comments:

part-time thinker said...

The theory does not take into account how hungry the subject may be, which would obviously tend to make one eat larger pieces. It only works if the string cheese is a snack.

laura b. said...

thinker: Ah, I see. An addendum to the theory. I wish it helped my case more, but I usually snack because I am hungry! So, I remain an animal....

Anonymous said...

Hm, when I eat string cheese (kind of rare) I mostly eat it for amusement...seeing just how many strips of cheese I can get to a stick or just how tiny I can get the strips before they break.

Secret Agent Woman said...

I ain't buyin' it. First, it doesn't account for people who don't have a consistent string cheese eating method. If I'm hungry, I might just eat the damn thing without tearing it into anything. If I have crackers, I tear of chunks to put on the crackers. If I'm less hungry, I might tear it into strings but I see no sense in the itty bitty strings you can't even taste. That seems less whimsical than unconcerned with flavor to me. Maybe those of us who don't eat string cheese in fluffy little strings are more focused on robust pleasures?

laura b. said...

Silver: See? Whimsical and fun loving!

Secret: ha! Well, food theories so often don't work out...in fact, most theories having to do with how people behave may not actually work all that well! There is fun to be had in trying the theories out though.
And I agree that I do enjoy robust pleasures :)

NoRegrets said...

Well, I am kinda a beast. But I do like my food. My nieces were aghast that I would eat it without peeling!

Tara said...

I'm in the middle, most of the time, about how I strip string cheese. Like you, I like to get a good chunk. I'll try to take off a thick strip. Sometimes the cheese isn't so forgiving, and it will only give me a tiny sliver. No, no, no.

Then sometimes I just get fed up and bite into it without the whole song and dance.

Thank you for posting this!

Tara said...

I'm in the middle, most of the time, about how I strip string cheese. Like you, I like to get a good chunk. I'll try to take off a thick strip. Sometimes the cheese isn't so forgiving, and it will only give me a tiny sliver. No, no, no.

Then sometimes I just get fed up and bite into it without the whole song and dance.

Thank you for posting this!

BrightenedBoy said...

President Reagan said you could tell a lot about a man by whether he picked through a jar of jelly beans looking for his favorite color or just grabbed a whole handful.

My guess would be that those who take big bites try to take big bites out of life as well.

laura b. said...

NoRegrets: Kids are tough critics with stuff like that!
Go Beasts!!!

Tara: haha! Thank you for asking! String cheese is always discussion worthy, I think :)

BB: I remember RR's Jelly Bean Theory! It goes to my thought that there are plenty of theories about food...but it's not always clear how well they work :-D