Rethinking My Rethinking

The Swordsman called me today, because I sent him a message yesterday saying I wasn't sure it was such a good idea for us to be getting together at this point. I felt so much better after I talked to him. He said he'd been having some doubts too and we agreed that a lot of it was brought on by simply not having the time to be in touch all that much. It becomes hard to maintain that connection...but I think we want to try. We do have something between us that is uniquely ours and it may just be worth seeing what happens next.
With that said, we decided to get together, face to face, next week and just take stock of the situation.
I'm just about out of here for the weekend. You guys have a good one, okay?

Haiku #14

Cathy and Jimmy
Your family was scary
What became of you?

Haiku #13

Shenay and Sheniece
Cutest little twins around
You were my neighbors

Conflicted

I am feeling very conflicted right now. As I noted, I saw Team C yesterday and it was, as always, incredibly awesome. I also noted that I was feeling sort of over the Swordsman. It was as though not talking to him as much weaned me off of the high I was getting from him, and in the clear light of day it is looking to me like he's more trouble than he's worth. I know he wants to get together soon, as for a variety of reasons it has been quite a while since we have actually gotten together. He wrote this morning trying to set something up, but it is easy for me to subtly blow him off, because everything is always about his comfort and convenience. Yes, he has been very patient with me in the past when I've had issues, but he can also be very...self-serving. Not that I condemn that...I mean, I can be one of the most self-serving people you'll ever meet. But I don't know...I guess that particular trait is just not appealing to me right now in others...and since this is supposed to be about fun and pleasure, I'm not all that inclined to do things the way HE wants for HIS convenience. At the same time, the thought of giving him up completely is hard. I might not have a choice though, because neither one of us is going to stand for the limbo we've been in for the past couple of months. I just don't know yet how to handle this, but I'm sure it will come to me.

Now My Sound Is...

....aaaahhhh...mmmmmm...*sigh*....
Can I just say that I feel great? Cause I really do.

Ka-Thump

That is the sound my little black heart makes when I think of my soon to be realized secret mission with Team C. Ka-Thump, Ka-Thump, Ka-Thump.....

Haiku #12

Greg Valencia
Like a boy version of me
Together we rocked

Busy Me

I am not really a busy person, I just play one on tv. I am not really on tv, I just have the exterior life and the interior life. I am portraying a busy person to the world, but I am not so terribly busy, really :-)

Since Master Swordsman has been back from his vacation he has been sort of trying to track me down and I have been sort of trying to avoid him. Probably not permanently, but right at this moment the whole thing is seeming pretty played out, you know? I think I need him to persuade me that it isn't, but he'll have to get creative to do that...and I guess I am curious about whether he's up to the challenge.

In other manly news, I haven't yet heard from Team C, so don't know if tomorrow is happening or not. I am sort of hoping that he'll call and say Thursday is better (because it is for me), but I can definitely make some accomodations for the Team.

I am still listening heavily to Morrissey. Plus, I have become re-enamored of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. I can let that pup blow through my speakers all day! My personal faves are the single, "Heavy Metal Drummer", "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart", and "I'm the Man Who Loves You". It inspires me to break out my Mermaid Avenue I & II and some Billy Bragg for good measure. Everything leads to something else.

I have had a brief book break between finishing Watch Your Mouth and beginning Adverbs. I am also planning to re-read True Enough, while I wait for Alternatives to Sex to become available.

So, see busy me?

Haiku #11

Red headed, freckled
Gretchen Holmes, such a tomboy
But you had sex first!

Haiku #10

David Brock, so smart
Seems I knew you forever
Our long school journey.

http://x365.org

So, Tell Me About Yourself

I got this 'getting to know you' questionnaire from Lemon Life. I lurk around her blog, (as well as many others) and love to get in on things like this. Makes me feel that I belong :-) You can play too. Just cut and paste what you see here onto your blog, get rid of my answers and put in your own...most importantly, make sure you leave a comment for me, linking to your answers! If I am not mistaken, I actually did something very similar a while back, but NOBODY participated with me. Yeargh...here. Don't make me beg!

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Camp counselor
2. Fast Food Slave
3. Retail/Cashier/Stocker
4. Library Technician

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Zoolander
2. This is Spinal Tap
3. Office Space
4. Waiting for Guffman

Four places you have lived:
1. Phoenix, AZ (born)
2. La Puente, CA (raised)
3. Los Vegas, NV
4. Los Angeles, CA

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. The Sopranos
2. Big Love
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Huff

Four Places you have been on Vacation:
1. Grand Canyon
2. Yosemite
3. Las Vegas
4. San Diego

Four websites you visit daily:
1. My List of Favorite Blogs...
2. Gmail
3. Amazon
4. My library's site

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Pasta
2. Raw carrots
3. Ice cream
4. anything chocolate

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. A coffee shop
2. A bookstore or library (that I wasn't working at!)
3. At home
4. A peaceful, sunny beach

Four friends I am tagging that I think will respond:
1. I'm tagging anyone who reads this!
2. Please
3. Please
4. Please

Four Places you'd love to visit:
1. Australia
2. Ireland
3. Italy
4. Spain

Four foods you don't like:
1. Meat that seems to much like...meat
2. Beets
3. Mushrooms
4. Cheesecake

Almost Forgotten Friends

I am enjoying the way writing daily haikus makes me think about people that I used to know. For the most part, the memories are good, and even the ones that are not fully positive are, by this point, more bittersweet than painful.
It is odd, though, speaking of old friends...I got an email today from someone that I hadn't heard from in months. It was weird seeing his email address in my inbox. Also, it made me think of others that I have sort of lost track of. If I have time next week, I may make an effort to go through my contact list and sort of reconnect with those I have let drift. Of course, I could take the tack of "well, if they wanted to talk to me, they would!" But, I know that is not necessarily true. People just get busy. Someone on that list of people to catch up with could be very pleased to hear from me and wonder how time got away like it did. Does this make sense?

Haiku #9

Teresa Quino
I found you so intriguing
Frightening yet fab

What is My Theme Song?

This says it all, does it not? Well...

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

Haiku #8

Oh, Amy Stratton
You were so kind and funny
I hope you're happy.

Ringleader of the Tormentors

Isn't that a cool CD title? That is because Morrissey knows! I have put this into heavy rotation in the car and am absorbing all of its nuances through repeated listenings. Sure, he's not the most cheerful guy ever, but dude has soul! He feels things! And then, I get to feel things too! Thanks Morrissey
:-)

Oh, hey, on one of my egroups we were chiming in about our personal picks for Most Annoying Song Ever. I chose "My Heart Will Go On". What do you guys think?

I am still feeling rather irritated by my co-workers. Not a lot, just a little. I guess it is a good thing I have a day off tomorrow. Apparently I need it. I guess a lot of what I am feeling is just a result of my own super laid back sort of attitude. Sometimes they go on and on about things and I am just thinking "What is the big fucking deal here? We aren't doing brain surgery, rocket science or anything else that is life or death!" My not wanting to stress may actually be causing stress!

In good news though, I heard from Team C today and next week is looking good for a secret mission. Lawd, lawd, how I could use a good secret mission...

Fast, So Make it Last

I didn't get a good chance to write a proper post today, but I definitely have it penciled in for tomorrow. I think I need another vacation from this place, because everyone is irritating me. Maybe a good night's sleep and some extra protein or something...I don't know. Maybe I just need to get laid. Well, yeah. I actually do, now that I mention it.
Okay, more tomorrow. xo

Haiku #7

My almost brother
Mom babysat you week days
Cameron, I miss you.

My Apologies

I want so much to post here as often as possible, but it turns out I wasn't kidding in my blog title...my life is so boring! It seems exceptionally dull right now. There is just nothing going on that makes compelling writing or reading.
I did finally finish that first Handler book and am moving on to the next one...although truthfully not that enthusiastically. Still, I am willing to try another by someone whom I want to like.
Um...lets see....Oh! I wanted to tell you that I have been listening to a couple of tracks off the new Death Cab for Cutie CD Plans. My favorite on repeat is "Crooked Teeth" and I am also loving "I Will Follow You Into the Dark". I do love these guys. Have you ever noticed that Ben Gibbard and Colin Meloy from the Decemberists kind of look alike? Cute boys.

Haiku #6

Seems everyone had
A huge crush on young Dennis
I was one of them.

Which Brady Am I?

You Are Bobby Brainy

Ultra competitive, you will do almost anything to win. From pull ups to pool sharking, you're very talented. And while everyone is aware of your victories, they still (affectionately) consider you to be a little brat!

What Brady Are You?

She's Baaaa-aaaack!

Back on the job and feeling much recuperated, thank you very much. What is great about my job is that when I am away from it I don't give it a thought. It is so refreshing.
Easter was nice at my dad's place. The holidays are changing for me, as my kids are growing up. It is partly sad and partly a relief...well, right now it makes me a little blue, but this too shall pass.
Hey, I am so off my game in the area of reading! I don't know what the deal is, but I am still working on The Basic Eight at this point. I felt so sure it would be a quick read, and possibly it is...just not for me right now. I did get sidetracked with alternate reading, such as Entertainment Weekly and Vanity Fair. But still. Oh well, no rush, right? Thats right.
Lets see...what else is going on? Nothing I guess. Is it the quiet before the storm? Its possible, of course, but I am hoping it is just plain quiet.

Haiku #5

Young, cute, Mrs. Qualls
I'll never forget spending
The night at your house.

Time For a Rest

Just about ready to leave for my mini-vacation, so I wanted to do a quick post. I hope you all have a Happy Easter, if you indulge in that sort of thing. I am hoping for an uneventful four days :-)
Happily for me, I got a chance to talk to my Swordsman. He is going off on vacation too. I'm feeling good, feeling happy, feeling connected.
I will post again when I return. Bunny kisses xxx

Haiku #4

The wild child Nanette
She was a bad influence
Oh, how I loved her!

Haiku #3

Maris rescued me
She was always my hero
All through our friendship

My Short Week

Ah, half a week of vacation is almost upon me. My kidlets are off school this week, so I thought it would be a good time to take a couple of days. I decided to get through my storytimes, as I'm too insecure to turn them over to anyone else, unless I absolutely have to for some reason. So, I am here today, tomorrow, and up until 1pm on Wednesday. After that, I won't be back until the following Monday. I don't have any special plans, but it will be nice to have the time to relax. One of the best things about the kids being on vacay is the chance to sleep in a little. During the school year, I really have to be up by 6 or so. Now, ideally, during summer and vacations I would get up at that time too, but would get oh-so-much more done. Nah, I like to sleep a little longer instead. Thats just how I roll - haha! I do miss some things about work when I'm not here. I miss seeing Milly and Heat, mainly. I miss the internet and everything that goes with it (including blogging).
Of course I will have to have something to read. I wanted to read Daniel Handler's latest Adverbs. However, the library is still aquiring it. I decided I might as well start with his first two adult novels, The Basic Eight and Watch Your Mouth. I am imagining fastish reads, so may be done with the first before vacation even starts. This will mean choosing a couple more by Wednesday afternoon. So many books, so little time! Any special suggestions? It would be much appreciated.

Haiku #2

Dear Miss Hanawalt
Her hair was so long and red
She even played the guitar!

Haiku #1

Russell had brown hair
And the deepest brown eyes ever
Love First Grader style
http://x365.org

The Engine's All Warmed Up, But There's Nowhere to Go

I just spoke to the Swordsman on the phone and he was masterful, as always. It doesn't look like we'll be able to get together for another couple of weeks. Fortunately we are copacetic as far as our situations go. He's got his stuff going on full steam ahead, and I have mine. But when we finally do get together again, I am going to make him so glad to be a man. I don't want or need much from him. I like knowing he is thinking about me and I like knowing that when we do get together he is the guy to give me exactly what I do want and need.

Virtual Pets Are MY Kind of Pets

But What About the Irritability Factor?

I have this co-worker. We'll call her The Drifter. She, I, and two part-timers share a common office space. We all get along just fine, fortunately...we are all nice people, after all. However, I have to vent here about the way in which this woman drives me right up the proverbial wall. Actually, there are a few issues I could bring up, but for today let us focus on singing and it's poor cousin humming. She is apparently obsessed with listening to various children's songs to find just the right ones to use for her programs...real far in advance, I might add...like she seems to be planning for stuff that will come around in September. Okay, I'm getting off track...how she plans is her own lookout. The children's songs are what I was talking about. She listens to the cassettes and cds through headphones, so that is considerate. BUT she either sings along quietly (it is really more of a moaning drone) or at the very least hums along (again, it is one note-ish droning). Not to be mean, okay? I mean, I freely admit that I am no singer myself. I'm horrible. I don't expose other people to it, though! The only place I sing is alone in my car where no one can get hurt! I don't know exactly why the droning bugs me so very, very much, but it definitely does. On a day like today, I feel like I could strangle her. This perfectly nice woman and I want to do her bodily harm. Here's hoping that writing this down will serve to sublimate my killer instinct...

What Will My Famous Last Words Be?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"What we know is not much. What we don't know is enormous."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Blabbity Blah

That is me not having much to say, but saying it in any case. Feeling bored. As I'm sure I've said before, there are worse things than boredom, but still... I am wishing for something fun to happen. I've heard a rumor that we can all make our own fun, but I'm not sure I'm so good at that. I guess I just need to take a positive attitude and think of things to look forward to. Um, lets see...I am taking a couple of days off next week. That will be nice if WTG can stay out of my way. My kids will be off school that week, so that should be good for us all. Then there will be Easter, which is a nice holiday. Not much stress about it. I think we're going to my dad and step-mom's house, which is always pretty pleasant. What else? Lets see...I am looking forward to the rain going away...and it will, eventually. Looking forward to some upcoming time with Master Swordsman, but am still not sure when. Whenever, it is something to anticipate with great pleasure.
Okay, now, I will focus on those things coming my way and try and get out of this funk. Wish me luck :-)

The Recuperation

I am feeling much better today and I am going to attribute it to your good thoughts :-) I hadn't really eaten yesterday and last night I passed out when I got home and had a bit of a rough night. However, this morning I felt more normal. I even met Milly for a late breakfast at LeRoys and eased my way back into solids with bacon and half a piece of french toast. I believe those are held up far and wide as traditional invalid foods, are they not? Well, they should be.

I Shoulda Stayed in Bed

It is Monday and I am here, but I probably shouldn't be. I should be home, all cozy in bed. Instead, I am here, feeling rather ill and tired. I don't want to get other people sick, but it is so hard being home. Not to sound all pathetic, but most moms could back me up on the fact that they don't let you rest at home! Plus WTG was there, also not well, and I am just not up to that AT ALL. So I am here, trying to keep a low profile and hope that I feel mo' better tomorrow. It is a new day and it could happen.
Did you all remember to Spring Forward? Of course you have by now. I am always happy when Daylight Savings Time returns. I like a few days a week getting to exit the building into the light. It gives me the illusion, at least, of more energy, more of an evening to do things. When I come home in the dark, I just want to call it a day and I do get less done it seems.
I have been reading like a fiend. I finished Diving Through Clouds. Then I re-read True to Form. I sort of started it by accident, realized I had read it, but went ahead and finished it anyway, as it is an easy read. Now I am starting Life Isn't All Ha Ha Hee Hee.
Okay, it's almost time to get out of here. Keep your fingers crossed that I feel better tomorrow, please. Thank you.