Saturday, October 13, 2012

Head Over Heels I've Fit In Before

My good blogger friend Jasen from the land of Swamp Gas & Moonlit Reflections chose the word SMASH for this week's Saturday Scavenger Shots theme. He has his reasons, and you can see for yourself if you go check out his blog. 

I decided to use this word to refer obliquely to what's been on my mind lately. I can't be too straightforward, because what's been on my mind doesn't only affect me in this case. So, let's see if I can protect the innocent and still lay it out for you.

SMASH. A slapstick word...a violent word...could even be a celebratory word.

Last weekend it seemed like it might be fun to get SMASHed on rum and cola. And it was, actually. But it had unforeseen consequences. At least unforeseen by me. Keep in mind that I virtually never drink.  I am not a teetotaler, but I was married to an alcoholic for many years. I had to think about drinking in a different way than some other people might have to.

Anyway, after the fun came the aftermath. Again, I can't be too revealing here...but let me just say that -SMASH- my perception of how things were going in my world was rapidly twisted and turned until I really didn't recognize it anymore. It was like someone had adjusted the lense on a microscope and suddenly an image I couldn't make out before became shockingly clear.  Want to SMASH your heart open and watch it bleed? Ask questions that you aren't going to like the answers to.

I will end this here. Hoping that I can be more clear eyed in the future. Hoping I can deal with what has come up in a realistic and productive way.  Hoping that this whole thing won't SMASH my basic optimism. Hoping this post wasn't too much of a puzzler and too much of a drag.

Thanks for reading and have a great rest of the weekend. Have yourself a SMASHing good time, why don't you! You deserve it.


Secret Agent Woman said...

Oh, my. If I think you're saying what I think you're saying... then I've had that same world-upending talk. And I'm sorry.

FW said...

That's not fun. Hope things get better for you again and that your optimism is okay.

laura b. said...

Secret: I can isn't the end, but it has that potential. Right now I guess the road sign would say "Proceed with Caution".

FW: Thank you very much. I am being protective of my optimism.

NoRegrets said...

hmm... hmmm...

laura b. said...

NoRegrets: Yeah, well.

Tara said...

Oo, I'm so sorry! I hope things work out!

I have never tried rum and Coke together, but I did have straight rum before, and way too much of it. Never again.

Secret Agent Woman said...

:( I'm sorry, then. I'll stay hopeful for you, but I've sure been there. Actually - I kinda am there!

laura b. said...

Tara: Thank you.
Rum and coke are good together! So, yes, avoid that :)

Secret: I am so uncomfortable when things are unsettled that I can tend to force issues and decisions. Trying to lay back a bit.