Renting vs. Owning Your Abode

I have to thank Churlita for inspiring this post. You should read her "Dreaming is Free" post HERE.

My parents owned the house I grew up in. We lived in the same house from the time I was about 3, until I moved out right before I turned 20. I probably would have even stayed at home longer, but by then my parents had been divorced a few years and my dad was eager to sell and get his equity out.

After that I entered the wacky world of renting. Back when I first started renting, it wasn't all that difficult to do. If you talked to the building owner or managers, they liked your face, and you had the money for first and last the apartment, house, or whatever was yours. There was some moving around when I was young. I even got as far a living in a mobile home in Las Vegas, Nevada at one point. However, with two very small children only a little over a year apart, my husband and I needed to be closer to home and ended up back in So Cal near our families.

About 17 years ago, we moved into a sweet little rental house. When I say little, I do mean little. It was an older house with only two real bedrooms and one bathroom. I had a huge yard though and the three boys we had at the time were all small and could easily share a room together. Two more kids came along, we made another bedroom by walling off a portion of the long livingroom, and life went on. It ended up being home for 14 years. I loved it and felt safe there...it was where I was raising my family. It didn't matter to me that I wasn't the owner and the landlords, while sort of jerks, basically left us alone.

In quick succession, my marriage finally gasped its last and I found out that the owners of the house wanted to tear down and rebuild on what had become pretty valuable property. I was devastated, but had no choice but to consider my options. My ex had been wanting to buy a house forever. He hated the place we lived in for all those years. Long story short, we ended up all moving into a house that he was able to buy when they were doing all that subprime lending. Technically, I am not a homeowner, but fairly close with all of the same responsibilities, etc.

Unfortunately, I now associate having my "own" home with a great deal of stress and the feeling that I have made the biggest mistake ever. Kids, don't live with someone you've learned to dislike pretty intensely. It isn't worth it. Now I spend all my free time daydreaming about being able to go out and rent a little place for me and at least the two youngest kids. However, things are different now. It would be very difficult for me, with not-so-great credit and frankly inadequate income to get into anything.

See how twisted? I own (sort of, and thats the catch) and dream feverishly of renting.

Celebrating a Day Late - A Story About a Close Friend of the Opposite Sex

Since I wasn't here yesterday, I thought I'd take the opportunity to celebrate a Taraday and tell a story about a close friend of the opposite sex.
My closest opposite sex friend isn't a Work Husband. If I had to chose a Work Spouse, I'd have to go with my best girlfriend Milly...so at work, I have a same sex marriage! Very forward thinking of me, no?
I have known my best boy friend since I was sixteen years old. We became friends though other friends in high school, even though he is a year younger than me and was two grades behind me. He was my first lover (I know, creepy term, but "my first experience with sexual intercourse" isn't quite right either), but perhaps more importantly he became my view into the male mind. We don't see each other much these days as he lives a couple of hours away and we both have plenty on our plates. Still, I know that when I have a problem or just want to tell a funny story I can shoot him an e or give him a call and he is right on the same page immediately. It is valuable having someone I can talk to about anything, especially since he often provides me with new ways of looking at problems or events in my life. I try to do the same thing for him. So, here's to you Gerard, mi amigo caliente.

It Is Just One of Those Days

It must be the heat and people must be tired. I have had more people coming to me today complaining about other patrons, wanting me to get involved. That is one of my least favorite things about working with the public. I don't want the kids coming up to me, telling me some other kid is bugging them in some way, wanting me to settle things between them. I don't want to go up to the teenage boy some mom heard utter a swear word and call him out on it. I don't want to settle the scuffle over whose turn it really is to use the last available computer. I don't want to be the one some dad comes to because his daughter overheard some white kid using the phrase "fat Mexicans" and found it hurtful. I don't like confrontations! But part of working with the public is involving oneself in the confrontations of others. It is unavoidable. And on some days, like today, it is even more unavoidable than usual. Makes me want to go back and work in Technical Services...but then I remember that it is pretty dead dull back there and I rethink my position. No job is perfect I guess. What is your least favorite thing about your job?

The H.P. Phenomenon Hits the Library

This is a picture of some of my fellow library employees holding their precious copies of the latest by Ms. Rowling. We got 30 copies, released to the world on Saturday. All 30 had holds placed, with more holds on top of those, so we probably won't actually see the book on the shelf for at least a month or two.
Don't they all look happy? Notice that I am not amoung them. I just couldn't get into the whole thing. I suppose I'm not much of a Fantasy fan in general. Still, it is wonderful to see people so excited about a book...everyone from very small children to the elderly.
Tell me about what Harry means to you!

My Simpson Character Name

My corresponding "Simpsons" character is Selma Bouvier-Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure.
Take Which "Simpsons" Character Are You? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

How Logical Am I?

You Are Pretty Logical

You're a bit of a wizard when it comes to logic While you don't have perfect logic, you logic is pretty darn good Keep at it - you've got a lot of natural talent in this area!

How Logical Are You?

l.b. Simpson, At Your Service!

Make your own Simpson-y self HERE. I was originally going to Simpsonize myself HERE, but I couldn't get my photo uploaded.
In any case, life as a Simpson is not too shabby. Just give me a donut and a squishee and I'm good to go.

Another Week Begins

I'm happy to be able to say that I am feeling less down than I did when I posted on Friday. I did get a bit of extra sleep and I'm sure that helped. Saturday I had Miss Personality duty again while Kick Back Dude and Princess Diva went to a movie. I just gave her some lunch and let her stay in the pool as long as she wanted.
On Sunday I didn't do too much besides try to get caught up on laundry. I didn't even cook dinner, we just had pizza.
Now, here we are again at Monday with nothing to show for it :-) I wish I had some wacky weekend story to tell. Ideally it would involve time travel, or maybe fantasy camp or something....I don't know. Babysitting and laundry, not the stuff of dreams, just the stuff of life when you are a 44 year old dancing bear.

Vote For Eclectic Spaghetti!

I took this excerpt from the comments section of Eclectic Spaghetti. Since Tara may not be checking her blog regularly I thought if I posted the link to vote for her blog here it might help:

Bobby Griffin said...
Hey there Tara,

I'd like to take this time and congratulation you on your awesome blog and inform you that you are in the running for Bestest Blog of the Year. You are up against 104 other excellent blogs that have all qualified by being "Bestest Blog of the Day" in the past 12 months. Voting starts TODAY (July 23rd) and will end in 2 weeks (August 6th). Winners will be announced on August 7th!

Encourage others to vote for you. Here is the URL: http://wwwblankestblank.com/bestest/blog-og-the-year/.

Here is the link back to the original post where the comment about voting is. I checked the link and as it turns out the voting part is sort of a pain in the arse. You have to view each of the contending blogs and rate them 1(worst) through 5(best) and you can't skip voting to go on to the next blog...so it could be quite time consuming depending on when Eclectic Spaghetti actually pops up. I guess I'd say if you have a bit of time and want to view many interesting blogs then head on over and give Tara her props.

But the Blues Are Still Blue

I am experiencing my semi-regular blast of existential angst today. Honestly, I don't know what my problem is. At this moment, and in fact since it hit me yesterday evening, I feel as alone and lonely as I have ever felt. I am just so fucking sad! And I don't know why.

Happys

Just wanted to take a quick moment for a couple of Happy shout outs to a couple of my favorite blogging peeps.

First, a very Happy Birthday to the super hipster MiniJonB. Have a beautiful 37th year and many, many more.

Second, Happy Trails to the fabulous Tara. May you be safe and may you have the time of your life.

My Crush on Young Albert E.

I have this picture of Einstein pinned up on the wall by my desk...

It is a very commanly available photo of him, but still not your typical Einstein with that crazy white flyaway hair. Whenever I look at him in this picture it makes me feel sort of peaceful and happy. There he is, sitting the in Swiss Patent Office, looking pretty dashing in his checked suit and striped shirt. He has that dark brooding look that is tres Johnny Depp, right? Plus, we know he was smart, was an early proponent of civil rights, and seems to have been pretty stable for a genius type. So, I look at this and I get this little crush on the guy in the picture.
If you wish, please tell of any sort of out of the ordinary crushes that you are harboring :-) Thank you.

Dog Days of Summer pt. 2

Here is Secret Agent Man and Tank the Pup having a swim in the pool. Tank loves the water, as all good retrievers do, and sometimes I even look out at night and see him swimming back and forth all alone in the moonlight. Sometimes when he swims with people he gets a little over excited and I fear he will drown Handsome Lad!
That is the fun part of summer! I may not like the upkeep on a pool, but some days there is nothing better than a cool dip. What is your favorite thing about hot weather?

Dog Days of Summer

This must be what they mean when they say dog days of summer...cause I am working like a dog!

I had a day off on Friday, but spent a good deal of the day watching Miss Personality, while her mama (Princess Diva) and auntie (Girlie Girl) were off shopping and getting mani-pedis. Must be nice! Anyway, by Friday evening I was not feeling all that well. I spent most of Friday night sort of nauseous and achy.

By Saturday I was still not feeling so super, but I knew it would be a really, really bad day for me to call in sick, so I decided to tough it out. I guess its a good thing I did, because one of my co-workers did call in sick. Saturdays tend to be the hands down busiest day at the library, so when someone calls it makes quite an impact on whoever is left. Actually my boss ended up having to come in and work extra hours. So, the day was busy with the normal crowds, plus I had a big program in the afternoon to set up for and then present. Every summer I do a party for the "big kids" (ages 8-14) during the Summer Reading Program. This year I ended up with 91 people in attendance, including the parents who stayed and all the younger kids who somehow wound up crashing. I think everyone had a good time so it is definitely worth it. By the time I went home though I was dead on my feet.

I did get to sleep in a bit on Sunday...and that felt reeeaallllly good. Then I had to get up and get moving though, because it was the day of Princess Diva's baby shower. Fortunately for me I was not in charge of too much... it was sort of a pot luck event and we had it at a community center. It was one of those newfangled family style showers with men, women, and kids in attendance. I am old enough to remember when baby showers were for the gals - haha! We had food and the traditional shower games and all those gifts. I was so excited about my gift. I had been watching the registry and when no one got them a bassinette, I was all about it. I lugged that thing home, wrapped it, and thought it would be a cool and also necessary gift. I was trumped though, by some friends of theirs who not only bought them the bassinette, but also put it together. When mine was opened they told Kick Back Dude and Princess Diva about their gift that they were going to bring by their apartment later. I was like, oh, no problem, let me just put that right back in my car and return it on the way home. Inside I was really disappointed though. I just don't seem to succeed so much in the gift giving arena. I told them when the dust settles to let me know what they still need and I will get them whatever they haven't gotten.

Now it is Monday and I am starting up again with a thrown off schedule, because today an entirely different co-worker called in sick. That meant my boss and I had to absorb her desk hours, plus a few other little odds and ends that we all have on Mondays during the summer. To further pollute the day, it was in our best interest to take our lunch hour today to go to a meeting regarding our current contract negotiations with the city. I would have rather had some Weinerschnitzel... At this point I have only a couple more hours left in my work day...all I can hope for now is that there are no disasters waiting for me at home.

Sorry for the long ramble, but it has been a long few days!

Don't Hate Me

I am all sighing and smiling today, because yesterday I broke down and had a long lunch with Team C. Don't judge me! Well, okay, you can...just maybe do it silently.

When we do get together it is always a purely positive experience. And of course after almost three years I definitely understand the very nature of our "relationship". I guess as long as I can live with those parameters no one is coming out a loser. What can I say? I have nothing else going on right now, so what the heck, right? You can go ahead and agree with me there, if you feel moved to :-) Thanks.

Because Tara Reminded Me. Thanks! (Thanks for the title box tip too! It worked!)

Like many other people in the world, I forgot to post a door knob picture on door knob picture day...and I really love posting pictures, so here it is!

Let me tell you a bit about this door knob. It is on the door between our office and the copy room. I touch it daily... many times each day. The door is actually open most of the time, but I often need to touch the door knob so that I can close the door at least slightly so that I can actually get to the black and white copier that lives behind the door. Why did they put such a heavily used piece of equipment in such a weird place? I don't know. They can go on and on about outlets and this and that, but behind a door is no place for nice people to have to wedge themselves several times a day.
Oh, I see I sort of got off the door knob and onto the copier. Apologies all around, but I'm sure you understand how these things happen...

Trouble Posting Titles? Yes.

For some reason in my blog writing form, I cannot click on the "title" section. Whats that about? Anyone? Anyone?

Okay, I had intended to write a little summary of my weekend yesterday. However, I didn't get a chance and am barely getting a chance today. I did want to quickly mention, though, that I got a chance to see two pretty good movies. One was called You Kill Me, with Ben Kingsley (hottie hot hot), Tea Leoni (points on for being married to David Duchovny), and Luke Wilson (the less scary Wilson brother). I am not sure this movie will open wide, but if it comes around you should check it out. The second one I saw was Sicko. I won't get up on my high horse, because that is boring. But if you have a little sense of me here you can probably guess that I dig Michael Moore and his messages for the people. Still, I also understand how abrasive some people find him. Still, still, why not check out Sicko? It is pretty interesting no matter what your politics.

Which Edward Gorey Book Are You?

The Lavender Leotard - You have been through quite a bit and although at times clumsy, you always handle yourself with grace.
Take this quiz!








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Since It Is Artist Appreciation Day

Celebrating Taradays is fun and easy! Since today is Artist Appreciation Day I want to:

First, commend the various blogging artists of all sorts that I have "met", including, but not limited to Tara and Furtive Wangler over at Dinkums and Doodles (how about some updates, kids?), Sebastien of Chronically Sick But Still Thinking, I Think, the twoferly talented BabyBull at Live Life, Love Life (part II)(do you still have your poetry blog, BB?), and blogging brothers Evil-E and Alien CG at Random Crap and Alien's Planet, respectively. You know the fact is that if you look at my blogroll ovah theah, you could call all of them artists of one sort or another! Isn't blogging an art? I say yes.
So many artists, so little time!

Second, post a picture from one of my favorite artists...and here it is...

Ah, Edward Gorey. His drawings are dark, but delicate.

So, here's to you blogger artists and Edward Gorey! Artists rule!

My 80's Hunk

Your 80s Hunk Is

Jason Bateman

Who's Your 80s Hunk?

I love Jason Bateman! He is one of my 00's hunks!

How Was It For You?

Ah, another holiday under my belt. Independence Day has come and gone again for another year with the attendant barbeque and fireworks. This year, Secret Agent Man ran the festivities at the house. I gave him some money to shop, but he did the actual shopping. He and his friends did all the grilling as well. Social Animal was out with friends, as was Girlie Girl. Truthfully, I did very little yesterday. It was my first day off in a couple of weeks that I hadn't been placed in charge of little Miss Personality in some capacity. I love, love, love her, but two year olds are exhausting :-) Anyway, I really took the day off because Secret Agent Man and his friends were very kind to Handsome Lad, as they are on occasion, and let him hang out. They even served me my plate and cleaned up fairly well after themselves. Later in the evening they set off some fireworks in front of the house. Fireworks are actually illegal in my city, but they do sell them legally about half a mile away in the next city over...so people get them, bring them home, and set them off. I don't think the police make a big deal of it as long as neighbors don't complain...and believe me, none of our neighbors had any room to complain about fireworks! Also we could see a couple of fireworks shows that were going on from not too far away just by standing in the yard.
It was nice to have a quiet, stress free holiday, but when it is quiet I do tend to think too much. Got myself sort of depressed and blue. I am frustrated that the quiet time I crave so much tends to lead to me feeling sad. I don't think it is any great indication of mental health that I need to be running a million miles a minute to keep despair at bay. Geez, this turned into a whiny post and that was not my intention...but there you have it.

Happy...

....Boom! Crash! Oooh! Aaah! Day. Don't you go losing any limbs to the explosions, 'kay? 'Kay!

This One Time? In a Band Dream?

Last night I had this incredibly vivid dream. I was onstage before a massive crowd. Unlike the real me would be in the this situation, the dream me felt perfectly comfortable, even happy and excited. It was hot and noisy. It seems that I was the bassist in a power trio and we were about to perform at a huge event. The lead guitarist looked like this guy I saw in Newsweek magazine a couple of weeks ago. He wrote an article about letting go of perpetually setting goals. Here he is!
I don't know why his picture stuck in my head, but I liked his article in any event.... The drummer was Harry Shearer, not how he looked in Spinal Tap or A Mighty Wind, just regular Harry Shearer...
In the dream, we never actually got to play that I remember. I just remember the heat and noise and being aware that I was a kickass bassist.
This whole dream was so weird for a number of reasons, but the biggest reason is that I NEVER remember my dreams, ever. Well, apparently that must be qualified with a “hardly” before the ever. This one stuck with me and I had to write it down. If this is what my mind is doing at night, I hope I can start remembering more of my dreams!