Thursday, November 5, 2009

So Busy, But So Undistracted

Love Bug getting her hurr did.

This week has seemed busy to me. My days at work are full and productive. I shouldn't have much time for introspection. But somehow it creeps in there. At the moment, it just isn't a good thing to be thinking too much. I know that the answer to pointless speculation is to distract your mind with other things. Keep busy! That's the advice, right? It's not working for me. Apparently I need to be unconscious to not be thinking about things that nag at me. And I think tiredness isn't helping. It just makes me feel more emotional and defenseless. So, I need to be busy, but not to the point of exhaustion. It is too fine a line for me. I am rambling, because...

a) I'm worried about stuff I can't really do anything about.
b) I'm undistractable.
c) I'm tired.
d) I use the word "I" too much, demonstrating my extreme self-centeredness.
e) All of the above.

The answer is:

e) All of the above.

Did you guess correctly? If you did, award yourself one gold star and a stiff drink. You could use it after reading this, right? Right :-)

On a more positive note, isn't Love Bug cute? Yeah, she is. Aw!



Tara said...

Tiredness does not help at all, I know. The frustrating stuff seems more acute when we're tired.

Love Bug is adorable! She's gotten so big, it seems like you just posted the photo of her as a baby!

daffy said...

I quite like the hairdresser! ;o)
Lovebug is a cutebug.
You are not nearly self centered enough! Go you!

Ananda girl said...

I thought "I" comments were supposed to help us identify and understand our feelings.

I've never read anything here that makes me think you are too self-invovled. I think of you as engaging, caring, very bright, funny, concerned and giving. I wish I was more like you!

But I also get the worried about something you can't do anything about thing. Sigh. There is no cure for that but time to resolve the concern. I will think positive thoughts for you.

Ananda girl said...

As soon as I left here I found doughnuts in the staff room... so I am stress eating a lemon jelly one for you.

Pamela said...

Oh just spit it out here so we can comment on it and make you feel 100% better.

laura b. said...

Tara: I get away with a lot less when I am as tired as I have been lately.
Love Bug is growing so fast...they all do. It is astounding.

Daffy: Yes! Me too :-) And she is a very smart and beautiful child...not that I'd be partial or anything.
Oh, lately I've been feeling incredibly self-centered. But thanks for not calling me on it :-)

Ananda: I sort of intensely dislike when I start living too much in my own head. It happens from time to time and it feels indulgent and wasteful.
You are very kind though...and I think that says a lot about YOU.
I appreciate the positive thoughts sooo much. I believe in their power. I believe in the power of the lemon jelly donut too :-) yay!

Pamela: Oh yeah, like that's gonna happen. That is part of my problem...lacking the ability to come right out with what is bothering me. I say some embarrasing things on here, but even I have some limits.

AlienCG said...

I used to worry about things I had no control over until I figured out that it does nothing for my well-being. It's not easy to kick this habit, but it can be kicked.

You're tired because you worry about things. Once you stop worrying, you'll sleep much better.

I hope this helps.

laura b. said...

AlienCG: I hadn't thought of obsessive thoughts as a habit, but perhaps you're right. Toughen up, laura b!
Of course it helps, thank you Alien.

Churlita said...

Love Bug is adorable.

I think once you talk about whatever it is that's bothering you, you will feel a million times better.

The Furtive Wangler said...

She's really cute! Reminds me I have to get my own hair cut. I think too much as well, I haven't found any easy answer to this problem. You can either try and suppress the thoughts or have a session with a pad of paper and get them all out. Writing all my thoughts out on paper has helped me in the past. You can then group them and analyse them objectively.

Sebastien said...

Love Bug is awesome!

Oh brother, yeah tiredness makes me more stressed and feel a little off kilter and more emotional/sad.

Big hugs to you.

I recommend you think about things like Iraq and Afghanistan... er, I meant to say the economy... uh... I'm not really helping here, am I?

laura b. said...

Churlita: Thanks, I think so too
Ideally, talking about stuff helps me a lot. Sometimes though, I just can't find the right way to do it.

FW: Come to think of it, I could use some tidying up myself.
That is an excellent suggestion! Writing always helps me and even if I can't bring it up to anyone else, maybe sorting it out on paper for myself would be helpful. Thanks very much.

Sebastien: haha! Well, I know you are teasing me, but it probably would be somewhat useful to think about things that aren't all about ME for a change :-)