Friday, October 23, 2009

Friday 5 - Resilience

Everybody's got something to hide, 'cept for me and my monkey

Yes, I have a chip on my my monkey friend, Chip!

Here is the backstory given for this week's Friday 5: Someone I know is getting married for the third time this weekend, and while there are many ways to look at such an event, what I am struck by is the complete optimism and resilience with which the bride and her close friends approach this reality. It would be easy to be cynical, or resigned, or whimsical, but I envy the bride her resilience, so these questions are in her honor.

1.Who in your life seems especially resilient? I'd have to say my daughter-in-law, Princess Diva. She had a rough childhood and came out of everything incredibly focused and resourceful, rather than ruined. I admire her a lot.

2.What characteristics would a person need to develop in order to become resilient? I think you need to have a deep sense of your own self-worth. You need to see problems as opportunities. You need to be able to absorb a blow and move on. None of this seems quite adequate, but it is a start.

3.In what areas of your life do you think you’ve been resilient? I feel like I do at least try to take any situation and make the best of it...see it in the most positive light possible. A positive attitude helps me to get past things that can seem insurmountable.

4.It is often said among educators that a strong indicator of resiliency in children is the presence of a “charismatic adult.” In your own childhood, who was the charismatic adult who inspired you to grow positively? I love my parents dearly, but if being honest, neither of them are particularly charismatic. I guess I'd lay that at the feet of the two skating instructors I learned under. They were both very dynamic and affirming people. As I learned to skate from them, I also learned how to present myself and how to treat other people in a way that would make them feel good about themselves.

5.Can one be tough and resilient at the same time, or are they opposite traits? They are not the same thing, but they are definitely not opposites. Sometimes resilience requires toughness. Sometimes you have to remember that toughening up isn't always the answer. But, yes, one can be both tough and resilient.

I hope you will participate, here or in your own blog. Have a love-filled weekend. I look forward to seeing how you are HONORED tomorrow!


Pamela said...

hmmm... is resilience always associated with a positive outlook? I feel I'm resilient and am not the most positive person.

Tara said...

Well it's like your daughter-in-law...she had to be strong to survive a hard childhood and that turned into resilience!

I'd say the most charismatic person in my life is my mom. My dad taught my patience, but my mom taught us to be social (when possible). Not forcing us, but like if someone asked us how we were doing, she encouraged us to reciprocate the greeting. It has helped break the ice many times.

Tara said...

PS: Love that photo of you, you look very pretty, happy and cheerful...and resilient!

Ananda girl said...

Yikes... I think I need to do this one when I'm sober. I'll be back!

Sebastien said...

Your picture reminds me that I need to get a monkey. Adding that to my animals wanted list.

Churlita said...

That is a beautiful photo of you.

I think it's great that you think so well of your daughter-in-law. I had a horrible mother-in-law, so I love to hear about good ones.

laura b. said...

Pamela: Well, that answers your question. Resiliance need not be associated with a positive attitude. But doesn't bouncing back from something make you feel pretty good?

Tara: So many people take their bad childhoods and destroy the rest of their lives based on that. I admire people who don't succumb to that temptation.

Your mom always sounds like a wonderful role model in every way :-)


Ananda: Aw! haha! I hope you had a fun little drinking time, you deserve it.

Sebastien: You SO need a monkey. Everyone does, really.

Churlita: Thank you :-)
My mother-in-law tries, I'll give here that.
I've noticed that the relationship between in-laws seems to have a lot to do with how the actual blood relatives get along too.