Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Digging a Little Deeper
I notice that most of the time after I post a particularly whiny post I feel compelled to go back and qualify stuff. Because I feel I get kind of harsh when I am feeling down and just letting it all out. So, here I am again, wanting to say something in the interest of absolute fairness.
Okay, so I did get my daughter's car over to her dad's house. And as I suspected, he is now tending to the problem. What I don't mention is how sometimes I am fine with just throwing up my hands. What I mean is...he picked the car, bought the car, presented the car, without a word to me. Fine. To me, that makes the car his responsibility. Imagine being freed from that responsibility! I admit that a part of me likes that. However, that is not the part of me I feel proud of. The adult me would prefer to talk something over, reach a decision together, discuss in advance how we might handle issues as they come up. But, in all the time I've known WTG, I can honestly not remember having a single conversation of that nature. Anyway, it turns out this isn't really about him and his issues. It is more about me and mine. How I sometimes like not being in charge. And how shameful that seems to me, when I really stop to consider it. It's really quite loser-ish and I feel embarrassed.
Funny how different everything looks when you aren't all wacked out on cold meds. :-) He is an ass. No way around it. But I think I kind of am too.