Thursday, April 23, 2009
The Transitional Phase is the Hardest
Some of you will know what I am talking about, eh? But this isn't that exactly. I was just thinking that I am at a very transitional phase in my life. For most of my adult life, I have been a mother first and foremost. And for a good many of those years I had very little support from a partner or anyone else. I was IT for my kids. Because of their need for me to be available to them, I had to let other things go. I wasn't able to maintain many friendships outside of the pleasant, but shallow camaraderie found with the moms and dads of my children's friends.
Now, my kids are grown or getting there. I live a very different life than I did even a year ago. I could actually have an evening out! With friends! Actual friends of my choice! But you know, I was kind of out of the loop for so long that it isn't a simple matter to find a way back in. I don't have a huge number of friends, but they do exist :-) It seems like they kind of have their things though. Reasonably, I know it is easy as asking people what their plans are and if appropriate asking if I could join them. I find it hard though. I want to do it, but something holds me back.
The fact is though, that I can be a social person. I have the ability and the desire. At the moment, I can't get the pieces to fit, but I am going to keep working on it. The transitional phase is so hard. But when you think about what you get when you get through it... well, I know it is worth it. So I will keep trying to get to the person I want to be.