Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I'm Throwing a Pity Party and Everyone's Invited
I have been feeling particularly sorry for myself lately. Frankly, there is nothing less appealing than someone feeling sorry for themself. I know this. Yet here I am talking about it in polite company. And here it comes...
I know that I have many, many things for which to be thankful. I would say I couldn't do much better in the family and friends department. There are people who care for me and bring me great joy. I have a job that I can take pleasure in on an almost daily basis. I have a fine home, and even though this may change, I know in my heart that I will never be homeless or anything like that! Could I use more money? For sure, but all in all I get by and could certainly give some amenities up if necessary.
It has become sort of shameful for a woman to admit it...but the truth is that sometimes I miss having a man. Someone who loves me. It has been a very long time since I have had that kind of love. I am not speaking of sex, although of course that is a factor...but the plain fact is that sex is available, not often, but you know....But love, with all the time and energy that it requires has been something that I haven't even bothered to pursue. It seems pointless with the way that my life is structured right now. I know this to be true, but sometimes I wish things were different. I wish that I could at least seek out a true and loving partner. And when I think about it too much, like I am right now, I have to throw myself a great big pity party and then move on. Chalk it up to being tired and a bit stessed I suppose. I appreciate getting it all out there. It helps a little. I am certain I will feel different by tomorrow and will write a post that is certified pity free :-)