Okay. Listen to this. In my household WTG and I both live there in order to share in the financial responsibilities. My responsibilities are:
-Electricity
-Gas
-Water
-Trash
-House phone
-Cable / Internet
-Children's school expenses
-My own personal things such as my car insurance (and help the kids who drive), mine & Girlie Girl's cell phones, and about half the groceries.
His responsibilities are:
-Mortgage
-Property taxes
-His personal things, such as his truck payments (he has three for his business), his insurance, his cellphone, and about half the groceries.
I take care of my stuff, he his, and we don't get involved with what the other is doing financially or otherwise.
I was going along, thinking we were doing our thing, but today I found out that this is not so. WTG hasn't paid, basically, any of his bills in about two or three months. I knew there was a bit of a struggle with him getting back to work and all following his illness, but I also knew that his dad and brother gave him a fairly substantial amount of money to help him get back on his feet...of course, I was not privy to any details.
Today my oldest son told me his dad started just pouring all of this out to him and told him that he was going to call MY dad for money. WTF? First of all, my dad is not a WTG fan, although he wouldn't want anything to happen to me or the kids. But more importantly, my dad doesn't have the money that WTG always seems to have assumed he does. Plus, as I learned many years ago...he doesn't like being asked for money. It puts him in the difficult position of being the asshole turning you down...or something like that.
Anyway, I am getting off the point. The point being, that we (me, the kids, and WTG for that matter) are completely fucked. Of course I bear plenty of responsibility here for being stupid enough to trust that dumbfuck. Why did I just assume he would take care of things? I guess I must be a dumbfuck too.
I am spilling all this out here and I know how bad it makes me look, but I really needed to get it out. It is a horrible mixture of embarrassing and frightening and I am just not sure what my next step will be. Stayed tuned.
10 comments:
Wow, that really sucks. I pray that all ends up ok in the end.
I'm...speechless. That guy has got too much nerve to ask anyone for more money! What the hell has he been doing to better himself or your circumstances? Doesn't seem like he's doing anything except looking for what others can do for him! Does he not realize how lucky he is to even have a roof over his head?
Okay, apparently I'm not completely speechless, but still. I'm so sorry that you and the kids are going through this.
I was there not too long ago and from experience it sucks and sucks hard. I wish I could tell you the magic answer, but there is not one. I can feel your pain all the way in over in Cleveland. It is also, very unlike you to swear so much, it must be pretty bleak.
You are not a dumbfuck.
You are stuck in a lousy position and you handle it with more grace than most would.
I'd give my left nut to have a solution for you, but I don't have it any more than the prior three commenters.
I fear the answers are in family court (to get rid of this lousy bastard) and bankruptcy court (to shed some debt if family court can't stick most of it on the lousy bastard's back.)
Hardly palatable options. But the hard truth is, you need to consider them.
Does your county Bar Association make referrals to lawyers who work on a sliding scale? Is your librarian salary low enough to qualify for free legal aid, given the number of your dependents? Is there a law school nearby with a legal clinic staffed by law students supervised by law professors?
(I don't mean for you to answer here, I'm just trying to suggest avenues to explore.)
I see a lot of frustrating phone calls and/or visits to legal clinics in your future. But you owe it to yourself to at least explore these kind of options.
WTG is an albatross. A dead weight. A cancer. He's lucky you're not homicidal. In your shoes, I would be.
You are not a dumbfuck. He is.
There's a big difference between the two of you. Don't let his fucked-up-edness convince you otherwise.
Wow - he sounds like a total arse. But don't let him drag you down. Just because you trusted him, does not make you a dumbfuck, not at all. Believe me, I've been there in a much smaller capacity.
I'll keep everything crossed for you x
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this. My ex is such a loser that he doesn't pay anything. Once this Summer he pitched in $50 so my daughter could go to camp and he feeds the girls a couple of meals a week. he thinks that's fair. I always want to say, how about we switch and you tell me if that's fair? the big thing is that he makes sure that he doesn't make any money,so there's not much I can do but send him to jail which will not help my girls any.
I always say, it's a shame that the mistake (my ex) that I made in my twenties will follow me around the rest of my life.
Oh that's the pits! Sorry to hear about your problems. I guess, you just have to take one step at a time to climb out of the hole....I wish I could say something else..
MrManuel: Thanks, I know I will be able to work something out for me and the kids.
Tara: Its like you read my mind:-) It is so frustrating and upsetting trying to deal with someone who is so selfish.
Evil-E: I think pain and anger does make my language more, um, colorful. It helps to blow off steam.
DiDC: Thank you...just knowing that there are options, no matter what I chose to do, is very calming and helps me to feel stronger.
Soph: I don't mean to be too "misery loves company" about this, but it does help to know that others have gone through similar things.
Churlita: I think WTG will probably end up taking a similar tack...I predict that he will quit his job and move in with his dad or brother so that he can't be expected to provide anything.
What was I thinking for all those years?
FW: Just your stopping by with encouraging words is more than enough. I know that I can dig myself out of this one way or another.
Some ppl are just not able to 'get it'. Hopefully things will work out in the end!
Good luck!
Thank you, Viki. I could use a little luck :-)
Post a Comment