Thursday, February 9, 2006

My Habitual Confusion Surfaces Again

Ugh. I bore the bejeebers out of myself. I can't imagine how anyone else tolerates me. Okay, so yesterday I saw Team C. ohmygodohmygodohmygod... It was like that, you know? Amazing. Makes my heart pound just thinking about it. Today, however, I can barely bask in the glow, because I am busy worrying about tomorrow when I am supposed to see Master Swordsman. I haven't actually seen him in so long and we've been just talking and writing and writing and talking. I get worried and nervous. There have been so many times when I am reminded that he really is a kind man and has had occasion to be a friend to me. Still, I also get the feeling sometimes that when he is thinking about things he is thinking of something much different than me...well, that isn't a clear sentence, but perhaps you get the gist? With him, there is always the worry that I am going to disappoint him or he is going to...I don't know...scare me, sort of.


And as I spoke here, he responded to an email I sent him earlier confessing to my feelings and he wrote back the best message ever. He sure does have a knack for calming me down after he has gotten me all wound up...


Oh, and I know this sounds bad, but it is not as bad as it sounds! Yes, there are two things going on in one week...but think of ALL those weeks when NOTHING is going on anywhere with anyone!

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