Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Open Letter to a Would-Be Volunteer

Dear Would-Be Volunteer,
Thank you for offering your services here at our library. How wonderful that you are a retired teacher and an excellent reader. I'm sorry that we do not have a volunteer based program to suit your needs. Yes, how rewarding to send an army of volunteers into the community to read to school children! No, we don't have a program like that in place. We do read to children, but at this point in time, I'm sorry, but all of our storytimes are handled by paid professionals. We do offer a large number of other volunteer opportunities. Oh, those would not be "stimulating" enough for you? You want to do something "that will really make a difference"? Thank you for implying that a good deal of what we actually get paid to do would not be stimulating or important enough for an "excellent reader" such as yourself to bother with. No, I'm not at all insulted. I'm sure you didn't mean to demean what we do here. Oh, yes, I can imagine how difficult it has been trying to offer up your services like this and finding nothing that suits you! Um, no, I wouldn't say that you are "just too altruistic". altruistic - showing unselfish concern for the welfare of others Wanting to do what you want to do, without regard for what is in place, is not altruism. But thanks for playing. You probably don't realize that volunteer programs, especially ones that involve interaction between volunteers and other members of the public are very staff intensive. What about the day you don't show up? Guess who has to do what you committed to doing? Guess who has to set up these fun loving reading sessions that you have pictured in your head? Guess who gets the heat if you do or say anything that some other member of the pubic doesn't care for? Is it you, the kindly volunteer...or is it the city institution that turned you loose on the world. Yeah, thats right. We are responsible. So, best of luck to you on your quest for a proper setting for the movie playing in your head.
Sincerely,
Laura B.
(Paid decent money to do things that sometimes aren't all that glamorous)

13 comments:

AlienCG said...

A little irked, are we?

People willing to help when they don't have to take any responsibility. Aren't volunteers wonderful?

laura b. said...

AlienCG: I shouldn't knock them I guess. We do have need of them...but they do constitute most of someone's full time job to manage.

Churlita said...

Wow. That's hilarious. Sometimes at work I wish for "inappropriate day" where I'm allowed to say whatever I want to the people who call in. Although, I'm sure that would also be my last day.

Tara said...

Very good letter! Kick their ass. ;)

laura b. said...

Churlita: Inappropriate day! That is exactly what I need. Good thing I have the pleasant nod and smile down to get me through the rest of the days.

Tara: haha! Thanks, it couldn't be good to keep the bitter locked up inside ;-)

dmarks said...

I went to a grocery store the other day where they were having "inappropriate day", I guess. I asked if they had something, and the person said "No". I started to walk away, and she said "Just kidding, we do have it".

Arrghhhh! Great way to do business.

Viki said...

Wow, this volunteer sounds like she has too much time on his/her hands! I hate when ppl assume they know better!

laura b. said...

Dmarks: haha! See what happens when people say what is really on their mind? It just comes off mean...like most of my most recent posts :-)

Viki: She had too much time on her hands, but only wanted to spend it in a very specific way. Hopefully someone can help her feel important, as that seems to be what she wants.

evil-e said...

I never volunteer for anything....

Great reply, you do have some pent up angst there in your head. I absolutely love this, this made my evening thus far. It's about time somebody stood up against those damned volunteers. What else are they implying? Maybe that they can work for free because they don't need money....(just a thought)!!!

MrManuel said...

A little angry there? Good to get it off your chest!

laura b. said...

Evil-E: I think I might have to do another post on volunteers since this one was angry blogging. And I don't volunteer either...they wants me they gots to show me the cash. (I'm sort of kidding, but yeah, I need to work for a living!)

MrManuel: It did feel good to get it out there. Shameful, but good.

Mrs. Big Hairy Woman said...

I use to volunteer at a nursing home and I loved it.. We we shown how much we were appreciated when received dinner and a certificate of recognition for our self-less work...Great post...

laura b. said...

MrsBHW: Now, you are the kind of volunteer that is needed and appreciated. Kudos!