Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Right Now, My Job is Sucking the Very Lifeblood From Me

Sorry to have been so long between posts. I hate not posting. Every year my mind kindly allows me to forget the horror that is the Summer Reading Program. The past two days have been so freaking busy! Like, ridiculously. Plus the teen volunteers started this week and they are very time consuming. Today as I walked in I felt hopeless for a moment, as though there were no possible way I was going to make it through the next five and a half weeks. I had to let it go. Obviously, I get through it every year and the fact is that the buck does not stop with me. So, I am able to go on, counting, counting, counting the days.

I think on top of the work stuff I am feeling the pressure of the home stuff. WTG is vegetating. He claims to be going back to work next Monday, but I'm finding that difficult to envision, given that he basically hasn't done anything since he's been out of the hospital besides sit in his chair or lie in his bed watching television. I'm not exaggerating. Well, time will tell there...he'll either go back to work or not.

Plus, I know this is lame and stupid, but yesterday I finally get this call from Team C, who has been basically MIA since the beginning of May. At first I was just glad to hear from him, but then overnight and this morning I started thinking, "What am I doing here? This is so ridiculous, even as far as the most casual relationships would go. I don't need this shit." See here how you can actually read my thoughts? But that is just what keeps running through my mind. So, today I need to call or email and tell him that I'm just not interested in getting his little calls anymore. Truly, I don't need this.

10 comments:

minijonb said...

maybe you need a big, long 6 week vacation!!!! right in the middle of your busy season at work! think that would go over well?

keep hanging in there.

Tara said...

If WTG is still waffling on his first day back, call us over and we'll send his ass to work. How's that? >:)

I met a guy a few years ago who did the MIA thing on and off. I was always happy and surprised to hear from him, and just when I felt good about him, he'd drop out of contact again. Then I start wondering if he dropped out of contact because of something I said, but then I catch myself blaming myself for nothing and it's a waste of energy. Sheesh. Good for you for telling Team C you're not interested.

Babybull40 said...

Tell Team C and WTG to get lost...One needs a life of his own and the other well... I guess it's not worth it.. like you said...

l.b. said...

MiniJonB: haha! I fantasize about that very thing quite often.
Thanks.

Tara: Yay for my Blogger Ninja Friends!
Sounds like you know just what I am talking about with the elusive Team C. I am tired of thinking things might get different. They won't.

BabyBull: Yeah, even though these are two very different situations, the outcome needs to be the same and it needs to not involve me.

evil-e said...

One needs to get back to working and the other needs to stop "operating", us guys suck sometimes, don't we?

The lapses are understood, it is not hard to check your blog out and see that there is nothing for the day...we keep coming back, right?

l.b. said...

Evil-E: I'm not hatin'...most guys are perfectly nice humans. They just don't seem to be a huge part of my life at this point in time. *sigh*
And thanks for always coming back :-)

Churlita said...

I can't deal with the abandoner guys. They make me feel like shit.Good for you for not settling.

The Furtive Wangler said...

You need and deserve better than Team C seems to be able to provide. Good for you for knowing what you want and being straight about it. Maybe he can learn something from your behaviour that way?

Viki said...

Do what makes you happy. Even if it is for 10 minutes. Really, you need to take care of yourself before anyone else.

l.b. said...

Churlita: When I was okay with it, it was okay...but it is nothing I have to put up with if I don't want to...and now I don't want to, you know?

FW: Thanks for your kind words. What I mostly learn from my behavior is that how I feel has little effect on how others act.

Viki: You are right. There is nothing to be gained from being a martyr.