Ooooohhhh! She's so Van Gogh! (renamed) Oooohhhh! She's so Picasso!

In honor of today's Tara-rific holiday I have Van Gogh'd myself. You should try it! It is actually very theraputic :-)



As Evil-E pointed out in comments this is much more Picasso than Van Gogh (I was NOT an art major, clearly.) Instead of cutting off something, I added some things. Thanks E!

THE Ultrasound

Today was the big day when my son and his girlfriend had THE ultrasound...the one where she was far enough along to be able to determine the baby's gender. Well, first of course, we were all happy to learn that the baby appears healthy and normal at this stage. Everything is where it should be and all that.
We had all made our predictions and guesses in anticipation...some of us were right and some of us were way off...as it turns out....



I am so excited :-)

Recorded for Posterity

Just so I don't forget, because it NEVER happens these-a-days...I finally managed to get in a long lunch with Team C. 'Bout time, I say.

Test Your EQ

Your EQ is 133

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

I am remarkable at relating to others....barely ;-)

My Pact with the Cosmos and How It Failed

Are you one of those people who imagines that you can control the state of your body with sheer mindpower? I am. I always truly in my heart believe that I can will myself to stay well, even when people are dropping around me like flies. Starting last Tuesday family members began..oh, lets just say...vomiting. Not everyone all at once. It crept up on us. First the baby, poor little Miss Personality. By the time she was recovering her mama was sick. Then by Thursday night, Handsome Lad was down hard, it was ugly. Kick Back Dude got it too, but was able to slough it off after a good night's sleep, sort of. By Friday evening, when they were on the upswing, Girlie Girl was aching and feverish. During all of this I was making pacts with any force that cared to listen.
I CANNOT BE SICK!
I WILL NOT BE SICK!
IF I SERVE EVERYONE SELFLESSLY, I WILL STAY HEALTHY!
PLEASE?!?!?!?
That should work, right? It didn't. I spent Saturday night dead sick. Passing out on the cool, cool bathroom floor sick. Without the fun of being drunk before...
Luckily, I was able to get lots of rest on Sunday. I put everyone on notice and took to my bed, getting up only to run a load of laundry or two, and help the kids keep it together mealwise.
By the time I got up this morning, I was tickety boo.
In conclusion, even though it didn't work out this time, I am pretty sure that next time I can keep from getting sick like everyone else. Don't ask me how. If I told you my method I would have to kill you. bwahahahaha!!!!

One of Those Memes Your Friends Send You When They're Bored and They're Hoping You're Bored Too

I am posting this because I am uninspired I guess. I do always rather enjoy these, though. Doesn't everyone like talking about themselves? Anyway, if you like to talk about yourself, post this on your blog too! If you don't like talking about yourself, post this on your blog anyway, but make sure every single answer is completely inaccurate!

1. What time is it? 2:00 pm

2. What is your full name? Ah, sweet mystery of life! Just call me l.b.

3. What are you most afraid of? Pain

4. What is the most recent movie that you have seen in a theater? It has been awhile...probably Notes on a Scandal?

5. Have you ever seen a ghost? I don't think so.

6. Where were you born? Phoenix, Arizona

7. Ever been to Alaska? Not yet!

8. Ever been toilet papering? I spent half my weekend nights when I was a teenager doing this.


9. Loved someone so much it made you cry? Certainly.

10. Been in a serious car accident? No. *knocking on wood*

11. Do you plan to have any more children? No more!

12. Favorite day of the week? Probably Sunday...

13. Favorite Restaurant? Pomona Valley Mining Company

14. Favorite Flower? Any kind, sincerely. I love flowers. (Okay, who doesn't? But really!)

15. Favorite Holiday? Not a huge holiday fan, in general, but I like Thanksgiving quite a bit.

16. Favorite sport to watch? Track and Field

17. Favorite Drink? Rum & Coke or Amaretto Sours

18. Favorite Ice Cream? Mint & Chip w/ chocolate sauce

19. Favorite fast food restaurant? Carl's Jr.

20. What color is your bedroom carpet? I have hardwood floors, with a beige throw rug.

21. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Never!

22. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? My friend Lab Rat.

23. What do you do when you are bored? Read, usually. Sometimes I throw in some eating too.

24. Bedtime? Usually around midnight

25. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? Probably no one since I am doing this on a Saturday...

26. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? That prize is up for grabs :-)

27. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their answers? I love reading these things. I appreciate all comers!

28. Favorite TV shows? Grey's Anatomy, House, Desperate Housewives, American Idol (sue me!), Big Love, The Sopranos, Rescue Me.

29. Ford or Chevy? I drive a Chevy, baby!

30. What are you listening to right now? Low level talking with the occasional piercing voice of a young child.

31. How many pets do you have? One dog, Tank, and one cat, Mittle Kitty.

32. Which came first the chicken or the egg? If I knew the answer to that I would totally write a book and get rich and give up this life of wage slaving!

33. What would you like to accomplish before you die? I want to continue to learn every day of my life.

34. How many people are you sending this e-mail to? I'm not sure yet. Not many.

35. Time now? 2:30 pm (I had some interruptions!)

l.b.'s Recommendations

Here are some things that I can personally recommend as being good stuff:

The Handmaid and the Carpenter by Elizabeth Berg
When Madeline was Young by Jane Hamilton
The River King by Alice Hoffman

Neon Bible by Arcade Fire
Wincing the Night Away by The Shins
OrdinaryWorld by Get Set Go

Go on and give them a read or a listen if you are so inclined. And thats all I have to say about that!

P.S.-I am sorry that this is an exceptionally uncommentable post, but say hi to me anyway, okay? Thanks :-)

World Poetry Day

Since today is World Poetry Day, officially and all, I thought I would celebrate by doing a little writing. You know I love poetry, although I have sort of let my haikus go. Maybe I will take them up again. Deal with that threat! Okay, anyway, my poem is inspired by a recent staff meeting.

In the Conference Room

In the Conference Room we gather
Coffee cups in hand
The more organized among us
Bring pencils and pads
But most of us know
That will just make it harder
To peel a banana or destroy a donut

In the Conference Room we gather
The Director speaks first
She is quiet and humorous
But her word will be law
Each Assistant Director speaks
They are equals on the flow chart
But any fool can see who rules

In the Conference Room we gather
Let us go around the table
Gleaning knowlege from one another
Will it be about work?
Mostly no
But some people do take
Some mighty fine vacations

In the Conference Room we gather
Eyes on our watches always
Must she ask another question?
Did he have to bring that up?
Will this meeting ever end?
Finally it does
And we are released for another week

I guess that would be called very free verse...only very loosely poetry. But hey, turning one of those meetings into poetry of any sort was a challenge! I know some of you write poetry too. Lay it on us.

Gemco: Where Babies Come From!

Sometimes when I get all Talking Heads and start asking myself, “How did I get here?” I simply cast my mind back to my days at Gemco and it all begins to make sense. I worked at Gemco from 1981, until it went out of business in early 1987. Gemco was one of those large discount stores, like K-Mart or Wal-Mart, sort of…a little nicer I think. Anyway, it seems like all the young people working there were bound and determined to either get pregnant or get someone else pregnant. Nothing struck me as unusual at the time, but looking back I am somewhat astonished. The year I became pregnant with my oldest son there must have been at least five other girls in various stages of pregnancy. On the other side, there were at least as many young men who were also starting a family. All of us relatively young and only a couple in really, truly stable relationships. Was it contagious? Subconsciously, did the idea somehow spread amongst us? We certainly weren’t making the big bucks at Gemco. There was nothing in any of our lives to suggest that this would be a great time to bring on da baby. Nothing to suggest that when my oldest son was five months old, I’d think – hey, why not another while we’re at it! So, I guess when I say it begins to make sense, it actually doesn’t.
Let this be a lesson to your youngsters out there. If you work in an environment where all the kids are doin’ it, just say no :-)

Missionary Position

Every fourth grader in California studies California history. I suppose it is the same in other states...it is the year for State history. In the fifth grade, they study U.S. history. But I am getting ahead of myself there. Today, I am talking about California history. A big component of which is apparently the mission system. Fourth graders from far and wide come from the beginning to the end of each school year requesting books and other materials for reports and building projects relating to one or more of the 21 missions in the system. This year my youngest son studied Mission San Juan Capistrano. That is how I happen to know that today, March 19, is the traditionally noted day for the swallows to return to the mission each year. It is a big touristy deal. Mission San Juan Capistrano is quite beautiful and looks like it would have been a fabulous place to live back in the day. I haven't seen all 21 missions, but they all appear at least in pictures to be lovely. Unfortunately, the mission system was corrupt and cruel to the Native Americans whom the missionaries and soldiers "recruited" to help build and maintain the missions. The goal was to instruct the heathen natives in Catholicism, make them into Spanish citizens so that they would have to pay taxes to the Spanish government, at which time the missions would be secularized and turned over to the Native Americans to run as profitable settlements.
I have had to learn about missions five different times, so I consider myself quite the expert. Now you know a little something too. Just in case you ever have some 9 year old Californian coming up to you wanting a little sumpin' sumpin' about the bad old days of the Mission system. Word.

Geese

I played a choosing game over at Evil-E's House O'Pain and am now compelled to tell you that geese can sometimes give their gender away just by the size of their goosey tools and sometimes you have to do some special procedure if you need to know if you have a goose or a gander.
Oh, and there was a picture of geese in winter. And that is all I gots to say about that. There you go, E! I invite all others to go tempt fate and play the game.

Oh! Today is the Two Year Anniversary of My Boring Life!

It was two years ago today, l.b. taught the band to play. Okay, no, sorry. I can't believe I have been keeping this blog for two years. Please celebrate by reading some random post from some random past month. Or just read the last few...they are all kind of the same anyway....
Happy Anniversary to My Boring Life!

Friday Night Lights

Tonight those lights will consist of the light cast by the television screen and Miss Personality's night light. Dear grandmama gets to babysit while Kick Back Dude and Princess Diva go out to see Jim Norton at The Improv in Ontario. Ah well, someone might as well be having fun tonight!

I hope some of you have great big plans tonight. Even if the plan is just get your tv and wine on why not tell us all about it? What are you going to do on this fine Friday night?

A Day for the Boys

There must be a few amongst you who know what today is. See, the thinking is that the ladies have their day on February 14. They get the candy, the flowers, the shiny bobbles. Um, sure. Anyway, what's in it for those of the male persuasion? Well, I guess if they are very good they will get to celebrate today. March 14 is designated as Steak and BJ Day. I don't know...it doesn't seem quite fair to me. I guess I'd go ahead and skip the whole Valentine's shinanigans if I could celebrate, say...um....Taco Day? Oh god, I'm officially a pig. See what involuntary celibacy will do to a usually nice person?

It's Been a Long Day. Watch for Short Sentences.

I always struggle for a day or two after the time changes in either direction. Today has been a long one though. I count on my quiet-ish mornings when I don't come into work until noon. This morning though, I was babysitting Miss Personality. She is the cutest little sweetie ever, but she is two! She has way more energy and way more interest in all of the most mundane things around the house :-) So, I got to work and it has just been insanely busy today for some reason. Possibly people are coming in out of the heat. Yesterday and today brought temperatures in the 90's. Talk about global warming...
I did have a relaxing Sunday, though and I know I will hit my stride for the week eventually. It is all about the little things, right? I had Tivo'd Shopgirl, which I have seen before but wanted to see again. I had to watch it in bits and pieces, because I kept getting interrupted. Still, I enjoyed it. I hope they make a movie version of The Pleasure of My Company. I'd go see it.
Wow, it is 8:30...only another half hour until I am out of here. I hope the house is in a quiet mood and that everyone is ready to turn in early. I know I am.

The Rare l.b. M & M

I love the way The Comedienne's Sidekick looks as an M&M, so I decided to do one of my own. Here I am M&Menized

Do one of your own over at Planet M&M. Go on, don't be shy.

How Rare is My Personality Type?

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISFP)

Your personality type is caring, peaceful, artistic, and calm. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 8% of all women and 6% of all men You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Don't Judge Me!

Sometimes I post humorous little questions or requests on CraigsList just to waste time with the email that comes in response. It is called starting a dialog people! Ah, this must be my Day of Shame...

You Belong in a Zoo

It had been several years since I visited the zoo. In truth, I have mixed feelings about them. Part of me finds the ideas of zoos rather cruel. I tend to feel somehow embarrassed standing outside of an enclosure with a herd of other humans gazing in at captive creatures. Still, zoos are undeniably interesting to me. I love being able to see animals that I would never otherwise see face to face. I know that sometimes zoos lead to the repopulation of species that are struggling in the wild. Zoos are a grey area.
On Sunday, Kick Back Dude took his family and I took Girlie Girl and Handsome Lad, and we all trooped off to the Los Angeles Zoo. It is fairly close by and relatively inexpensive for an outing...just remember to bring your own snacks as we did!
Miss Personality, at 2, was the perfect age for the zoo. She loved it. Afterward she kept bringing up "monkey butts". Apparently the chimpanzee bottoms made quite an impression on her. Handsome Lad loves animals and really enjoyed himself. Well, all of us did, apart from my vague feelings of shame.
What do you think of zoos?

Five on a Friday

I stole this right off of Furtive Wangler.

Five in a Row

1. Name one thing you do everyday.

Read. Newpapers, magazines, books, things off my computer screen. I devote a pretty good chunk of time to one sort of reading or another everyday.

2. Name two things you wish you could learn.

I wish I could learn to play the cello. It has always seemed so sexy to me and it is a beautiful sounding instrument. I would have to start from square one...I don't even read music, so it is rather intimidating to think of.
I also wish I could learn to do one of those really loud, piercing whistles. I don't know why, but it just seems like it might come in handy.

3. Name three things that remind you of your childhood.

-Above ground swimming pools. That was what most of the people in my neighborhood had and when I see one I remember happy summer days spent almost entirely in the water.
-Roller skates. I loved skating and went for lessons and practice a couple of times a week from about age 7 to 14 or so. It was such great fun.
-Certain songs. Hearing something like "Billy Don't Be a Hero" reminds me of the little shows my sister and our friends used to put on for our families and the neighbors.

4. Name four things you love to eat but rarely do.

Plain cornbread stuffing.
Hot fudge sundaes.
Anything with shrimp.
Carmel apples

5. Name five things that make you feel good.

Feeling close to someone.
Sitting outside on a warm day.
Becoming totally engrossed in a story on screen or on the page.
Genuine laughter.
Having my family all together just hanging out.

You should do this one too. Yeah, you!

Happiness is a Bobblehead

My oldest son, Kick Back Dude, got me this for my birthday. He actually gave it to me just a couple of days ago. Better late than never! In case you can't tell from the photo, this is a Dwight Schrute bobblehead...just like the one Angela discreetly gave to Dwight last Valentine's Day on The Office. I love it. I have it on my desk and it makes me smile everytime I look at it.