Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Long Road to Patience

Today's post was inspired by a post that 3 Girl Knight wrote over at his blog By God's Good Grace about patience.  I was almost going to write a rather political post, but that is really not my forte. I have some fairly strong feelings about some of the issues surrounding prospective Presidential candidates, but I think I will leave them alone for now.  But, I think an argument I recently engaged in about one of these issues was what made 3GK's post hit home for me.

Me and patience. It's not simple. I can't just say that I am a patient person or an impatient person.  This particular post made me think about how my capacity for patience functions though and here is what I came up with.  In the short term, I would say that I tend to be rather impatient. I sometimes react without thinking when I feel like someone doesn't or won't understand a point I am trying to make. How well I'm actually making that point is totally not the point. Whatever kind of job I'm doing, I'm not thinking of that when I get to that point of eyes tearing up and teeth / fist clenching.  It is about the other person not GETTING IT. I am also impatient, as most people are, about the bureaucratic elements that delay simple things.  I work for a city, so I am used to being thwarted on acting quickly, yet I still find myself impatient and frustrated when the expected obstacles are put up.

But there is also the big picture and the long term.  That is where I think I am able to pull it together and become one of the most patient people in the world.  It is the me with the cooler head that operates in this dimension.  Sure, I can stay married to a person who is in no way good for me for 15 years.  There is work to be done and my time will come.  Yes, I can struggle for the next 10 years and counting on my own, because, again, there is work to be done and my time will come.  I can be patient with the people in my life, not always moment to moment, but certainly year to year. I am patient like a dog who will always be there. The patience of loyalty and the patience of the conviction that I'm doing the right thing in the long run. 

Reading this over, I'm not sure how much sense it will make to anyone outside of my head :) But still. I appreciate you reading. Go ahead, try my patience. Just make sure you are planning to stick around to see the big picture.


silly rabbit said...

Wow. Lots of thoughts come to mind with this post!

I actually do understand some of this. I am impulsive and have trouble waiting for things and events that I want to come to pass, good or bad.

I tend to need to muse over issues to decide how to deal with opposition, so what creates impatience for me in that situation is my inability to quickly toss together my words in a way that can be understood. I think of them about an hour after the fact. Sigh. "What I wish I had said" syndrome.
In my own failed marriage, I had far too much patience, though I am not sure if it was patience as much as being too stubborn and unwilling to give up until waaaay past our expiration date.
Yet when people have problems, I have very long patience and empathy.
I guess I'm a mixed bag.

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

I can so relate to feelings of day to frustraions.. and feeling impatient.. I too have many moments of the latter and although I am aware, I do try to correct it situation to situation.. Sometimes impatience can stem from other people's stupidity and lack of awareness..

It totally makes sense!

secret agent woman said...

I understand this completely - I have lots of long-term patience and very little short-term patience. Just yesterday I slammed down the phone while talking to someone at an insurance company because she didn't understand my question and was not being helpful. And I can road rage with the best of them. But in relationships, especially, I can hang in for a long time, and am incredibly persistent about things that matter to me.

laura b. said...

Silly: I think that thing about needing to find the right words is why I feel I'm better in writing than in person :) Oh, I can totally relate to 'what I wish I had said' syndrome! You do seem like a very empathetic person and I think that is a good thing :)

Mrs: Thanks! You get what I'm saying and I appreciate that.

Secret: When I read you saying something similar to what I feel, it gives me a slightly different perspective. I would say to you - it sounds like both the short and long term actions are due to caring about things a lot.

Churlita said...

I'm right with you on this one. I am impatient in general, but patient to the point of long-suffering in relationship sometimes.