Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Update-y Goodness

Here is Love Bug looking sort of alarmed. She likes her Elmo chair, so it must have been the photographer who was worrying her...

Seems a good enough day to reflect upon what has been going on lately for me. First off, I am really settling in nicely at my new place. It has been six or seven weeks now and I can honestly say that I feel better than ever about the decision that I made. I'm home and more importantly the kids seem to be adjusting very well. Girlie Girl is content and happy not to be in constant range of her dad's bad moods. Now she can see him occasionally when they plan something specific to do. That way they have a nice visit and it doesn't need to devolve into argument.

I had been concerned about Handsome Lad most deeply. However, he spent all last weekend with me, coming over Friday morning and staying until Monday afternoon. He had been over, but this was the first time he wanted to stay over. Now he says he wants to do things that way from now on. Monday through Thursday nights at the house, and Friday through Sunday nights with me. I told him that would be great...and that he is of course welcome whenever the mood strikes. I do think that he has benefitted from not having to deal with WTG and I bickering. He is not in the middle of our stuff anymore and that is assuredly a good thing.

The older boys, Secret Agent Man and Social Animal, seem fine as well. One or the other comes around now and again for meals or just to hang out. I actually feel better about things, because at their ages (21 and 19) I was a little resentful that they weren't contributing more to the household. Now, they are forced to, if they want to keep the house! It may have been a drastic way to get those two to step up a bit, but it certainly was effective.

Kick Back Dude and Princess Diva couldn't be happier about the whole situation. It used to be so tense when they would come to the house and WTG would get all stressed about the babies' noise and mess. Like ridiculously...hello, they're his grandkids! Anyway, now they can come to my place and be completely relaxed and not worry if they are going to suddenly get screamed at for not "controlling" their kids.

So, at this point in time, I am finding the big picture finally opening up before me and it is all good. Yes, money is a bit rough for me at the moment, but I think even that will get better once some budget tweaking is done. And I do want to say how much I appreciate how supportive and kind you have all been through this period of change in my life. Many thanks. I think I'm ready for that housewarming party now ;-)

10 comments:

AlienCG said...

It's good to hear (read) that you are doing much better. Life is always so much nicer without the tension. When's the housewarming and where?

Tara said...

(runs off to Walmart and the mall to buy LB some housewarming gifts)

I am so happy for all of you! I could feel the tension lifting. And how awesome is it that Handsome Lad wants to stay over at your place during the weekend? I love it!

MrManuel said...

Sounds awesome! You seem to be doing so much better now and that is wonderful! Keep up the happy news.

evil-e said...

I am heading out to buy a twelve and a bag of Doritos right now. It is good to hear that things are starting to settle...keep it up

laura b. said...

AlienCG: It is one of those things where I almost didn't realize how much pressure I was under until it was gone.
Let me think about a date and a location...hmmmm.

Tara: No gifts necessary ;-) I really am starting to feel about a million times better.

MrManuel: Thanks so much. That is my goal, to keep the good news coming!

Evil-E: Yay! Thanks and I am trying hard to keep up the big Mo :-)

Churlita said...

I'm so happy for you. that's kind of what I was talking about before you moved - creating that sanctuary away from all the drama and tension that their dad seems to bring.

I'm sure your kids are thrilled that they have somewhere safe and happy to go to where they can get away from their dad. I know my girls love that about my place...

NoRegrets said...

Yay! Sounds great. Heartache and worry leads to good things sometimes.

laura b. said...

Churlita: You were exactly right. It is an alternative for them and they are all seeing that part of it now.

NoRegrets: A couple of my hardest decisions have turned out to be a couple of my best decisions as well. So it was worth the agonizing from that stand point, for sure.

daffy said...

I'm really pleased to read this. I think about you every now and then, about how hard things have been, worrying about the children, trying to act as peace maker for everyone. I think about how very difficult a desicion it must have been and without knowing if it were the right one or not.
You did what you had to do with everyones best interests at heart and I am so pleased it is paying off for you all.

laura b. said...

Daffy: Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I felt like I never made a more difficult decision...even the original split was easier than this! But it does seem to be working out and I'm so relieved.