Go Team Go!

Here is to Team C for incredible feats of strength and endurance. I recently returned from a nice long lunch and I may never walk the same again...
At this moment in time, I just want to go on record as saying that I feel happy and beautiful and adored. No small thing to get to feel like this.

Panic! At the Disco

I have their song "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" stuck in my head real bad...I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
That and my current ring tone, which is Death Cab for Cutie's "Crooked Teeth". Not terrible things to have stuck in my head if something must be stuck there.

Today was busyish here at work. Tomorrow I hope to have time to tell you all about the lunchtime workshop I attended today. Well, maybe just the highlights, such as they were :-)

AND I will be smiling and stretching and feeling like the cat that swallowed the canary after I meet with Team C in the foreseeable future....

Haiku #24

I always liked girls
With red hair and tan freckles
Cindy was so sweet!

Haiku #23

You were the cool kid
So, Michael Longoria
Are you cool today?

Sweet Instead of Sour

Ah well, Mother's Day turned out to be quite nice after all. I did end up putting together a simple luncheon for my mom, WTG's mom (who is usually nice, unlike WTG), my sister (and nephew), and the oldest son's little family, as well as my two youngest children. My second oldest even stopped by briefly with a couple of friends. I just set out some good meat and cheese, condiments, different kinds of bread for nice sandwiches. I also made a pot of chili and a carrot & raisin salad. For dessert I had a cherry pie and a strawberry cheesecake. WTG's mom brought some candy and a gallon of sweet tea. The little family brought some cookies. The weather was very warm, but pleasant on the shade of the patio. It really turned out to be a relaxing day for all of us mums. I was very surprised and happy that my second son, who can be so quiet and hard to know, gave me a sweet card along with his gift of a picture frame, some yummy bath stuff, and a bottle of my favorite mocha frappaccino :-) My third son, who was unable to attend lunch because of an invitation to an Angels game, did eventually come home bearing candy and balloons for me, and later we watched Sopranos together as our special Mother/Son activity. My oldest son gave me a cute card and later on got me Chinese food for my dinner. I'm glad now that I decided to go ahead and do the gathering, because I think everyone really appreciated it.
Even this morning was nice, as it was my late day in to work. I did my chores, then I watched two of my very favorite shows that I had tivo'd from the night before: Big Love and Grey's Anatomy. OMG! They are both soooo good! There is a two part season finale for G'sA tonight and I am way too excited about a tv show...Still, it feels good to feel good.

One More Thing...

I meant to point out...notice that there is a 100% full moon tonight. Watch out for the lunar loonies :-) Wah-ooh, werewolves of London....

Haiku #22

Dashing young Victor
Your cosmopolitan lisp
Somehow matched your look

Mother's Day? Bah!

I am not feeling very festive about this coming Mother's Day. I had fully intended to put together a little get together for my mom and my sister, and of course the kids at home. I know that neither of them will have any special plans...if I don't entertain in my family, there is not entertainment, lets put it that way. Today, though, maybe it is just Friday dragginess, I am not feeling like it. And since it is MY Mother's Day, too, why should I have to? Well, obviously I don't have to do anything...I know my mom wouldn't mind...or my sister. But I might end up minding being so ungenerous to two moms whom I love. I guess I'll see how I feel tomorrow...probably better, couldn't be worse (wishful thinking!)

I finished Digging to America and it was just wonderful. I enjoyed it so. I had to get something else for over the weekend, so I chose a couple of short story collections. One is Mothers: Twenty Stories of Contemporary Motherhood, in honor of our big day. I also picked up Like Life, in honor of...life, I guess.

To those of you who are mamas, have a very happy and relaxing Mother's Day. To those of you who are not (and even those who are) be sure to thank your own mum :-)

Haiku #21

There were always three
Nancy, Teri, and Eileen
Known for quietness

So...Which Beatle Am I?

What Beatle are you? George Harrison You are wise beyond your years, caring. A listener, not a talker.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

I knew it!

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Me & Milly have been watching The Beatles Anthology on and off during our lunch breaks. So far, we've only watched Episodes 1 & 2 of a set that contains 8 episodes and a Special Features disc. Of course it is such a cliche to say you love The Beatles, but honestly, they were just too, too adorable when they were young!
Another thing about seeing the young Beatles is that whenever I see John Lennon I think of my first real boyfriend. Not that they look alike precisely, but something about their features...the sort of chisled lips, narrow eyes, and strong cheekbones... *ahem* Yes. Well.

My Blog Word Cloud

Haiku #20

Buddy you were cute
I recall that you looked like
David Cassidy

http://x365.org

I <3 U Anne Tyler

I am so happy to finally be reading a book that I am not only enjoying, but loving passionately. Digging to America is soooooo good! I want to write like Anne Tyler. I am convinced though, that while she has her imitators and stylistic runners up, there is no one like Anne (I call her by her first name in my head because I feel close to her - haha!) Anyway this is one of those books you wish would never end. *sigh*

On my desk right now I am looking at another books called Which Way to the Vomitorium?. For some reason the phrases in it just tickle me. I mean, haven't you always wanted to say "Bring me the rats head mixture, my hair is looking thin today" in Latin?
Ah, life can be good I do declare.

Missed You, Dears

Feels like forever since I've blogged, although I guess it is just, what, 5 days? Back to work yesterday, but somehow the Evil Work Fairy didn't work blogging time into my day! But here I am once again...and once again I have nothing all that compelling to share.
I do seem to be having some trouble with my reading choices lately. I am breaking my losing streak, though, I am confident. I just picked up the new Anne Tyler novel Digging to America. It looks just great and I am excited by the certain knowlege that I can count on this book to satisfy me. Some of my other reads lately have not.
In Guyville, Master Swordsman is so the king right now. I just cannot get enough of him. I love that he sends me his novellas and short stories for editing. I love how dirty he talks. I think he gets me and I love that, too.
Even so, I won't give up Team C, because I need his sweetness and the way he makes me feel connected and calm and beautiful.
So, for now, I stumble on with my bad self and nothing so satisfying as a true life partner...

Haiku #19

Corrine called Corky
I hope you don't remember
That slumber party

Haiku #18

Ew Donnie Peron
I could never stand you
You hurt my sister

Drive Time

Driving to and from work is one of my favorite parts of the day. I almost always give myself enough time so that I don't have to worry about a little traffic. I get to listen to music, sing (this is definitely a solo activity that NO ONE wants or needs to hear), and just sort of reflect upon things. The car is a good place to cry with relative privacy. Sometimes I'll have my coffee or soda, maybe a little snack. So, now you have this awesome visual of me singing and/or crying and shoveling food into my mouth! How cool. When the weather is nice enough, I get the added bonus of putting the top down and feeling the sun and the breeze on my skin. Sometimes there are annoying exhaust sorts of smells, but there are also great smells that you would never notice if you were all sealed in your air conditioned cocoon. There is a big industrial bakery that I pass by with the most amazing smells emanating from it! It is like this scrumptious guilt free treat!
I am quickly approaching my evening drive time. Hope its a good one. I am taking a long weekend, so I will see all y'all on Monday.

Shine On, You Crazy Lemon

I wrote that on an ecard that I sent to Milly yesterday because we like lemons and shiny things and it just made me laugh....okay, we're just strange is small, unobtrusive ways like that. Anyway, since then I have had the Pink Floyd song running through my head...you know the one with the similar title? Follow me now. Thinking of Pink Floyd made me think of a)Junior year of high school, when The Wall came out (movie and album) and b)this guy I dated a couple of years later, who really got me into Pink Floyd...especially Dark Side of the Moon and Wish You Were Here. Follow me a little further...this guy, Steve, was 28 and I was 20 when we dated for about a year. He seemed older to me, in some ways, than anyone has ever seemed before or since. I mean, he was so much older than me, or at least it seemed so at the time, and I was fascinated by that. Still, we got along fine, because he wasn't (I realized this later looking back) all that mature :-) He was and may still be, one of those very "boyish" men. We worked at Gemco together. He was in the Patio Dept, I was a cashier in Records and Books at the exit of the store. He was only the third man I'd ever had sex with and he was very sensual, as I recall. As with most relationships that end, for so long you only remember the end and the whole thing ends up seeming bad. But this was a nice relationship for the most part. He introduced me to a lot of good music, most notably Steely Dan and he also sort of set for me a loose blueprint for the type of man I am, to this day, attracted to. Are you clever and verbal? A compact sort of guy? Are you imaginative and rather quirky in some way? Your my sort of guy and you can thank Steve for that - haha!
Thanks for following my train of thought here. You may disembark.

Haiku #17

Laura Principe
Weird how much you loved jockeys
I guess they seemed safe

Haiku #16

There was this big field
And a long gravel driveway
Ending at Proudy's

My Five Factor Personality Profile

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Interesting, sort of...

What Color Flower Am I?

You Are a Blue Flower

A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance. At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower. And at other times, you are wise like an iris. And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

What Color Flower Are You?

You Read It Here First - I Am Bored!

I am feeling very bored at work right now. I'm sure that is better than how I'll be feeling in about a month, but I'm just not feeling terribly productive. At least the Swordsman took some time this morning to draw me back into his little web of pleasure.
Team C is on the road this week, so I can't expect to hear anything there.

Um, lets see...I have been sort of trying to not eat so much fast food lately, but yesterday me & Milly had a coupon so we went to Jack-in-the-Box and got Spicy Chipotle Chicken Ciabatta sandwiches. Buy one, get one free. It was delicious, I have to say. In penance for the fast food, I didn't eat fast food today. However, I also didn't eat particularly healthy. Does Lemon Lover's tea and double chocolate Milanos sound healthy to you? No, I didn't think so. I planned ahead, though and wore black today, and I am looking fabulous! Okay, fabulous is strong. I am looking quite presentable. You wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with me in public
:-)

In the middle of writing this I am exchanging emails with my friend DR. He's having a happy day, which seem further and fewer lately. So, I am happy too.

Now, I'm going to just keep drinking my tea and maybe I can find one of those dumb, but somehow intriguing little quizzes to put up....

Apparently This Isn't Meant to be Settled

Looks like it isn't happening with the Swordsman this week..or at least it isn't looking good now. He's very sorry, just as I'm always very sorry. We are two sorry people. Still, I remain open to the possibility of him sometime. Maybe next week?

Reading is going slow. I am still working on my new Daniel Handler, Adverbs. His books have interested me, on a certain level. They are certainly very clever. However, I have not found them to be all that engaging on an emotional level, which I seem to need to really get going on a book. I have been setting this particular one aside to re-read Morgan's Passing. Anne Tyler is, of course, one of the most engaging novelists ever, so I tend to go back to her books over and over again.

Does anyone have any music recommendations for me? I love it when people turn me on to things I've never heard of, or perhaps never appreciated properly. Tell me what you like :-)

Haiku #15

I have hated you
And I have loved you, Alan
Like a real brother.

Rethinking My Rethinking

The Swordsman called me today, because I sent him a message yesterday saying I wasn't sure it was such a good idea for us to be getting together at this point. I felt so much better after I talked to him. He said he'd been having some doubts too and we agreed that a lot of it was brought on by simply not having the time to be in touch all that much. It becomes hard to maintain that connection...but I think we want to try. We do have something between us that is uniquely ours and it may just be worth seeing what happens next.
With that said, we decided to get together, face to face, next week and just take stock of the situation.
I'm just about out of here for the weekend. You guys have a good one, okay?

Haiku #14

Cathy and Jimmy
Your family was scary
What became of you?

Haiku #13

Shenay and Sheniece
Cutest little twins around
You were my neighbors

Conflicted

I am feeling very conflicted right now. As I noted, I saw Team C yesterday and it was, as always, incredibly awesome. I also noted that I was feeling sort of over the Swordsman. It was as though not talking to him as much weaned me off of the high I was getting from him, and in the clear light of day it is looking to me like he's more trouble than he's worth. I know he wants to get together soon, as for a variety of reasons it has been quite a while since we have actually gotten together. He wrote this morning trying to set something up, but it is easy for me to subtly blow him off, because everything is always about his comfort and convenience. Yes, he has been very patient with me in the past when I've had issues, but he can also be very...self-serving. Not that I condemn that...I mean, I can be one of the most self-serving people you'll ever meet. But I don't know...I guess that particular trait is just not appealing to me right now in others...and since this is supposed to be about fun and pleasure, I'm not all that inclined to do things the way HE wants for HIS convenience. At the same time, the thought of giving him up completely is hard. I might not have a choice though, because neither one of us is going to stand for the limbo we've been in for the past couple of months. I just don't know yet how to handle this, but I'm sure it will come to me.

Now My Sound Is...

....aaaahhhh...mmmmmm...*sigh*....
Can I just say that I feel great? Cause I really do.

Ka-Thump

That is the sound my little black heart makes when I think of my soon to be realized secret mission with Team C. Ka-Thump, Ka-Thump, Ka-Thump.....

Haiku #12

Greg Valencia
Like a boy version of me
Together we rocked

Busy Me

I am not really a busy person, I just play one on tv. I am not really on tv, I just have the exterior life and the interior life. I am portraying a busy person to the world, but I am not so terribly busy, really :-)

Since Master Swordsman has been back from his vacation he has been sort of trying to track me down and I have been sort of trying to avoid him. Probably not permanently, but right at this moment the whole thing is seeming pretty played out, you know? I think I need him to persuade me that it isn't, but he'll have to get creative to do that...and I guess I am curious about whether he's up to the challenge.

In other manly news, I haven't yet heard from Team C, so don't know if tomorrow is happening or not. I am sort of hoping that he'll call and say Thursday is better (because it is for me), but I can definitely make some accomodations for the Team.

I am still listening heavily to Morrissey. Plus, I have become re-enamored of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. I can let that pup blow through my speakers all day! My personal faves are the single, "Heavy Metal Drummer", "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart", and "I'm the Man Who Loves You". It inspires me to break out my Mermaid Avenue I & II and some Billy Bragg for good measure. Everything leads to something else.

I have had a brief book break between finishing Watch Your Mouth and beginning Adverbs. I am also planning to re-read True Enough, while I wait for Alternatives to Sex to become available.

So, see busy me?

Haiku #11

Red headed, freckled
Gretchen Holmes, such a tomboy
But you had sex first!

Haiku #10

David Brock, so smart
Seems I knew you forever
Our long school journey.

http://x365.org

So, Tell Me About Yourself

I got this 'getting to know you' questionnaire from Lemon Life. I lurk around her blog, (as well as many others) and love to get in on things like this. Makes me feel that I belong :-) You can play too. Just cut and paste what you see here onto your blog, get rid of my answers and put in your own...most importantly, make sure you leave a comment for me, linking to your answers! If I am not mistaken, I actually did something very similar a while back, but NOBODY participated with me. Yeargh...here. Don't make me beg!

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Camp counselor
2. Fast Food Slave
3. Retail/Cashier/Stocker
4. Library Technician

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Zoolander
2. This is Spinal Tap
3. Office Space
4. Waiting for Guffman

Four places you have lived:
1. Phoenix, AZ (born)
2. La Puente, CA (raised)
3. Los Vegas, NV
4. Los Angeles, CA

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. The Sopranos
2. Big Love
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Huff

Four Places you have been on Vacation:
1. Grand Canyon
2. Yosemite
3. Las Vegas
4. San Diego

Four websites you visit daily:
1. My List of Favorite Blogs...
2. Gmail
3. Amazon
4. My library's site

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Pasta
2. Raw carrots
3. Ice cream
4. anything chocolate

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. A coffee shop
2. A bookstore or library (that I wasn't working at!)
3. At home
4. A peaceful, sunny beach

Four friends I am tagging that I think will respond:
1. I'm tagging anyone who reads this!
2. Please
3. Please
4. Please

Four Places you'd love to visit:
1. Australia
2. Ireland
3. Italy
4. Spain

Four foods you don't like:
1. Meat that seems to much like...meat
2. Beets
3. Mushrooms
4. Cheesecake

Almost Forgotten Friends

I am enjoying the way writing daily haikus makes me think about people that I used to know. For the most part, the memories are good, and even the ones that are not fully positive are, by this point, more bittersweet than painful.
It is odd, though, speaking of old friends...I got an email today from someone that I hadn't heard from in months. It was weird seeing his email address in my inbox. Also, it made me think of others that I have sort of lost track of. If I have time next week, I may make an effort to go through my contact list and sort of reconnect with those I have let drift. Of course, I could take the tack of "well, if they wanted to talk to me, they would!" But, I know that is not necessarily true. People just get busy. Someone on that list of people to catch up with could be very pleased to hear from me and wonder how time got away like it did. Does this make sense?

Haiku #9

Teresa Quino
I found you so intriguing
Frightening yet fab

What is My Theme Song?

This says it all, does it not? Well...

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

Haiku #8

Oh, Amy Stratton
You were so kind and funny
I hope you're happy.

Ringleader of the Tormentors

Isn't that a cool CD title? That is because Morrissey knows! I have put this into heavy rotation in the car and am absorbing all of its nuances through repeated listenings. Sure, he's not the most cheerful guy ever, but dude has soul! He feels things! And then, I get to feel things too! Thanks Morrissey
:-)

Oh, hey, on one of my egroups we were chiming in about our personal picks for Most Annoying Song Ever. I chose "My Heart Will Go On". What do you guys think?

I am still feeling rather irritated by my co-workers. Not a lot, just a little. I guess it is a good thing I have a day off tomorrow. Apparently I need it. I guess a lot of what I am feeling is just a result of my own super laid back sort of attitude. Sometimes they go on and on about things and I am just thinking "What is the big fucking deal here? We aren't doing brain surgery, rocket science or anything else that is life or death!" My not wanting to stress may actually be causing stress!

In good news though, I heard from Team C today and next week is looking good for a secret mission. Lawd, lawd, how I could use a good secret mission...

Fast, So Make it Last

I didn't get a good chance to write a proper post today, but I definitely have it penciled in for tomorrow. I think I need another vacation from this place, because everyone is irritating me. Maybe a good night's sleep and some extra protein or something...I don't know. Maybe I just need to get laid. Well, yeah. I actually do, now that I mention it.
Okay, more tomorrow. xo

Haiku #7

My almost brother
Mom babysat you week days
Cameron, I miss you.

My Apologies

I want so much to post here as often as possible, but it turns out I wasn't kidding in my blog title...my life is so boring! It seems exceptionally dull right now. There is just nothing going on that makes compelling writing or reading.
I did finally finish that first Handler book and am moving on to the next one...although truthfully not that enthusiastically. Still, I am willing to try another by someone whom I want to like.
Um...lets see....Oh! I wanted to tell you that I have been listening to a couple of tracks off the new Death Cab for Cutie CD Plans. My favorite on repeat is "Crooked Teeth" and I am also loving "I Will Follow You Into the Dark". I do love these guys. Have you ever noticed that Ben Gibbard and Colin Meloy from the Decemberists kind of look alike? Cute boys.

Haiku #6

Seems everyone had
A huge crush on young Dennis
I was one of them.

Which Brady Am I?

You Are Bobby Brainy

Ultra competitive, you will do almost anything to win. From pull ups to pool sharking, you're very talented. And while everyone is aware of your victories, they still (affectionately) consider you to be a little brat!

What Brady Are You?

She's Baaaa-aaaack!

Back on the job and feeling much recuperated, thank you very much. What is great about my job is that when I am away from it I don't give it a thought. It is so refreshing.
Easter was nice at my dad's place. The holidays are changing for me, as my kids are growing up. It is partly sad and partly a relief...well, right now it makes me a little blue, but this too shall pass.
Hey, I am so off my game in the area of reading! I don't know what the deal is, but I am still working on The Basic Eight at this point. I felt so sure it would be a quick read, and possibly it is...just not for me right now. I did get sidetracked with alternate reading, such as Entertainment Weekly and Vanity Fair. But still. Oh well, no rush, right? Thats right.
Lets see...what else is going on? Nothing I guess. Is it the quiet before the storm? Its possible, of course, but I am hoping it is just plain quiet.

Haiku #5

Young, cute, Mrs. Qualls
I'll never forget spending
The night at your house.

Time For a Rest

Just about ready to leave for my mini-vacation, so I wanted to do a quick post. I hope you all have a Happy Easter, if you indulge in that sort of thing. I am hoping for an uneventful four days :-)
Happily for me, I got a chance to talk to my Swordsman. He is going off on vacation too. I'm feeling good, feeling happy, feeling connected.
I will post again when I return. Bunny kisses xxx

Haiku #4

The wild child Nanette
She was a bad influence
Oh, how I loved her!

Haiku #3

Maris rescued me
She was always my hero
All through our friendship

My Short Week

Ah, half a week of vacation is almost upon me. My kidlets are off school this week, so I thought it would be a good time to take a couple of days. I decided to get through my storytimes, as I'm too insecure to turn them over to anyone else, unless I absolutely have to for some reason. So, I am here today, tomorrow, and up until 1pm on Wednesday. After that, I won't be back until the following Monday. I don't have any special plans, but it will be nice to have the time to relax. One of the best things about the kids being on vacay is the chance to sleep in a little. During the school year, I really have to be up by 6 or so. Now, ideally, during summer and vacations I would get up at that time too, but would get oh-so-much more done. Nah, I like to sleep a little longer instead. Thats just how I roll - haha! I do miss some things about work when I'm not here. I miss seeing Milly and Heat, mainly. I miss the internet and everything that goes with it (including blogging).
Of course I will have to have something to read. I wanted to read Daniel Handler's latest Adverbs. However, the library is still aquiring it. I decided I might as well start with his first two adult novels, The Basic Eight and Watch Your Mouth. I am imagining fastish reads, so may be done with the first before vacation even starts. This will mean choosing a couple more by Wednesday afternoon. So many books, so little time! Any special suggestions? It would be much appreciated.

Haiku #2

Dear Miss Hanawalt
Her hair was so long and red
She even played the guitar!

Haiku #1

Russell had brown hair
And the deepest brown eyes ever
Love First Grader style
http://x365.org

The Engine's All Warmed Up, But There's Nowhere to Go

I just spoke to the Swordsman on the phone and he was masterful, as always. It doesn't look like we'll be able to get together for another couple of weeks. Fortunately we are copacetic as far as our situations go. He's got his stuff going on full steam ahead, and I have mine. But when we finally do get together again, I am going to make him so glad to be a man. I don't want or need much from him. I like knowing he is thinking about me and I like knowing that when we do get together he is the guy to give me exactly what I do want and need.

Virtual Pets Are MY Kind of Pets

But What About the Irritability Factor?

I have this co-worker. We'll call her The Drifter. She, I, and two part-timers share a common office space. We all get along just fine, fortunately...we are all nice people, after all. However, I have to vent here about the way in which this woman drives me right up the proverbial wall. Actually, there are a few issues I could bring up, but for today let us focus on singing and it's poor cousin humming. She is apparently obsessed with listening to various children's songs to find just the right ones to use for her programs...real far in advance, I might add...like she seems to be planning for stuff that will come around in September. Okay, I'm getting off track...how she plans is her own lookout. The children's songs are what I was talking about. She listens to the cassettes and cds through headphones, so that is considerate. BUT she either sings along quietly (it is really more of a moaning drone) or at the very least hums along (again, it is one note-ish droning). Not to be mean, okay? I mean, I freely admit that I am no singer myself. I'm horrible. I don't expose other people to it, though! The only place I sing is alone in my car where no one can get hurt! I don't know exactly why the droning bugs me so very, very much, but it definitely does. On a day like today, I feel like I could strangle her. This perfectly nice woman and I want to do her bodily harm. Here's hoping that writing this down will serve to sublimate my killer instinct...

What Will My Famous Last Words Be?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"What we know is not much. What we don't know is enormous."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Blabbity Blah

That is me not having much to say, but saying it in any case. Feeling bored. As I'm sure I've said before, there are worse things than boredom, but still... I am wishing for something fun to happen. I've heard a rumor that we can all make our own fun, but I'm not sure I'm so good at that. I guess I just need to take a positive attitude and think of things to look forward to. Um, lets see...I am taking a couple of days off next week. That will be nice if WTG can stay out of my way. My kids will be off school that week, so that should be good for us all. Then there will be Easter, which is a nice holiday. Not much stress about it. I think we're going to my dad and step-mom's house, which is always pretty pleasant. What else? Lets see...I am looking forward to the rain going away...and it will, eventually. Looking forward to some upcoming time with Master Swordsman, but am still not sure when. Whenever, it is something to anticipate with great pleasure.
Okay, now, I will focus on those things coming my way and try and get out of this funk. Wish me luck :-)

The Recuperation

I am feeling much better today and I am going to attribute it to your good thoughts :-) I hadn't really eaten yesterday and last night I passed out when I got home and had a bit of a rough night. However, this morning I felt more normal. I even met Milly for a late breakfast at LeRoys and eased my way back into solids with bacon and half a piece of french toast. I believe those are held up far and wide as traditional invalid foods, are they not? Well, they should be.

I Shoulda Stayed in Bed

It is Monday and I am here, but I probably shouldn't be. I should be home, all cozy in bed. Instead, I am here, feeling rather ill and tired. I don't want to get other people sick, but it is so hard being home. Not to sound all pathetic, but most moms could back me up on the fact that they don't let you rest at home! Plus WTG was there, also not well, and I am just not up to that AT ALL. So I am here, trying to keep a low profile and hope that I feel mo' better tomorrow. It is a new day and it could happen.
Did you all remember to Spring Forward? Of course you have by now. I am always happy when Daylight Savings Time returns. I like a few days a week getting to exit the building into the light. It gives me the illusion, at least, of more energy, more of an evening to do things. When I come home in the dark, I just want to call it a day and I do get less done it seems.
I have been reading like a fiend. I finished Diving Through Clouds. Then I re-read True to Form. I sort of started it by accident, realized I had read it, but went ahead and finished it anyway, as it is an easy read. Now I am starting Life Isn't All Ha Ha Hee Hee.
Okay, it's almost time to get out of here. Keep your fingers crossed that I feel better tomorrow, please. Thank you.

What Kind of Coffee Am I?

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Yes, I am drinking coffee right now!

Everybody's Working for the Weekend

That's right, I'm giving Loverboy the shout out, what of it? haha! Enjoying a nice quiet Friday here at the job. Me & Milly just got back from lunch at a Japanese fast food place called Bento-ya. I just had a teriyaki chicken bowl and some miso soup...it was delish.
I guess I don't have any special plans this weekend. Hopefully it will be a nice restful weekend with no fussing and fighting.
Yesterday I finished reading What Was She Thinking? Notes on a Scandal. I enjoyed it and have quickly moved on to Diving Through Clouds. So far, I'd say it is light reading...good for a not so taxing weekend read.
I have gotten all of those CDs I ordered and have had a chance to play them a bit as I drive to and from work (about the only time I can listen to my own CDs without someone turning it off and switching to Top 20 on 20 or whatever...) I think I am going to start ordering more CDs through Amazon. I've had such good luck with even the used ones and they are at great prices. There is the shipping, but the convenience makes it worth it to me. Music is my one real indulgence. I hardly ever even buy books anymore with so many of them at my disposal. It seems a small pleasure that I can allow myself :-)

Sex Saves Me Again

Once again, I feel compelled to display my shallow nature. I just always find it amazing how much spending time with someone, say Team C, does for me! I mean, I can assure you that for quite some time anything thrown at me will seem so much more managable, just because I have this little glowing sphere of tender eroticism nestled up next to my heart (with a path straight to the hot zone).
You don't care for me all that much? Thats okay, I know someone who does, and in very creative ways! You want to pick a fight with me? Its not gonna happen, because I am in my happy place, feeling like someones hidden treasure.

Aaaaahhhhh....

I am so blissed out. Finally, finally, finally got some face time with Team C and it was awesome, as always. It had been way too long and many promises were made that it wouldn't be so long next time. Ideally, I would want to see him more, but in some ways it doesn't matter so much. When Team C does finally pull of a mission...damn the torpedos! And now I get to have this loose, warm, glowing feeling for lucious hours to come....

P.S.

I saw this movie yesterday with WTG in an older theater that I love. However, the seats are not so roomy and I felt squished by him impinging on my personal space. Still, good movie. Yeah.

Thank You For Smoking

Smoking is a filthy, disgusting, unhealthy habit. The question that Thank You For Smoking raises both satirically and seriously is...so what? The health risks have been established, but people still choose to smoke and isn't it ultimately about choice? Aaron Eckhart, genius actor, plays a mouthpiece for big tobacco, Nick Naylor. Through his charm, quick mind, and unbeatable arguments, he is the PR guy making the case for smoking. His stellar performance on a panel show brings him to the attention of both the biggest mucky muck in the tobacco industry and an anti-smoking Vermont governor (the fabulous William H. Macy). There is plenty going on in this movie, including fraternal lunchtime meetings of the MOD (Merchants of Death) Squad including Alcohol pusher Maria Bello and Gun toter David Koechner, unadvisable sex with a journalist (the last breath of freedom for young Katie Holmes), trips to Hollywood to gain smoking a prominent, sexy position in movies (watch Rob Lowe and Adam Brody work it!), and plenty of time to bond between the can-do dad and his bright son (played by Cameron Bright).
The movie is full of very funny moments. It is satire, but it is tightly controlled satire. Between the acting, writing, and directing I would have to say that this movie is definitely going on my Top 10 List.

Television and Its Hold On Me

I am very fond of the idea of being one of those people who claim to never watch TV. Not to be snobby, but it is just kind of cool to think of having such a rich, full life that you never have to resort to the soothing mindlessness of most tv shows. At any rate, I definitely do watch and while I am not exactly a fanatic, I do have some shows that I don't care to miss :-) These are a few of my fav-o-rite things:

1) Grey's Anatomy
2) Desperate Housewives
3) The Sopranos
4) Big Love
5) Huff
6) The Office
7) My Name is Earl
8) Scrubs
I am in mourning, still, for Arrested Development and Six Feet Under.

So, anyway, you can see my list is pretty basic sitcom and one hour drama stuff. Nothing too highbrow, too lowbrow, or too terribly unusual. I almost put American Idol on there, but decided not to because a) it is a little embarrassing and b) I don't care much if I miss a week...like I wouldn't shed a tear or two like I might if I miss a new Grey's Anatomy...

Another Tighty Whitey

haha! A brief message :-) I am feeling more clear headed today, thank the cosmos. I have just started a new book, too. I thought since I had enjoyed A Ship Made of Paper so much that I would try another by Scott Spencer. This one is called Men in Black. It is not that one, but another one completely :-) So far, so good. I have also had Adventures of Blue Avenger, a young adult novel riding around in my purse. I have read it before, but it has been awhile, so I've been re-reading as time allows, because it is a cool little story.

Curse of the Headcold

I am feeling all discombobulated. Between being thrown off my schedule and this stuffy feeling in my head I am moving through this day in a daze. I can't seem to connect with the outside world...the world outside of my own head.
I need to find a new book to start before I go home tonight. I need to get through my two storytimes tomorrow, put together my class visit for the next day, and also finish preparing for my afternoon program for Thurs. Then, I am off work Fri. So...if I can make it through the next couple of days I will have a chance to recuperate. As a matter of fact, I may see the Swordsman on my day off. That will either be restorative or it will kill me :-)
Now for a small bitch and moan session, brought to you by l.b.@ My Boring Life: I have developed a reputation for being someone that my friends can talk to about anything. I am discreet. I don't judge them. I listen carefully and sometimes make useful suggestions. Now, don't get me wrong, I relish this role. BUT (the big but(t)) on occasion I feel like I am allowing myself to be, I don't know, the lampost or whatever. I am just this recepticle for their feelings...sometimes it doesn't seem to occcur to any of them that I also have feelings, secrets, and stories to tell. Well, how can I bitch? Really. If I opened up to most any of them, I'm sure they'd listen. I guess anyone reading here is my me. Does anyone read here?

Boxer or Brief?

This one is gonna be brief. It has been on the busy side here at work, so not so much time for the fun stuff. I did want to check in, though. I am still feeling some of the ill effects of Friday's mood, although my weekend was actually quite good. I am just dragging...possibly it is all hormonal, you know? Swordsman wrote me one little note today, which I didn't bother to answer. Lately I feel he hasn't got time and that is fine, but I don't want to be jumping through hoops in that case. I read this blog entry that DR wrote and it was so sad. He wrote about...well this and that. But the main gist of it was that he had found an ex-girlfriend's daughter on MySpace and was ruminating on what might have been. I have found that that way lies madness, seriously. You cannot dwell on the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. It will kill you! Everyone of us could have lived this finer, fuller, more beautiful life, in theory. But all it is is theory and all it is is wishing for the wisdom of 40 at 20 or whatever. Life doesn't work like that, woe is me.

Why I Don't Do Introspection Well

I don't do introspection well, because I find that profound thoughts about nearly anything give me that heavy, teary feeling in my chest. Not that I think I'm all deep. I'm sure anyone who stops to really think about things feels something similar. For me, though, I don't know...while a part of me welcomes the feeling with something like relief, another part of me finds it unbearable and just wants to feel sunshiny and contented. I know this is why I like to have plenty of busy work or, if I am still, I prefer to be reading (ie. escaping).
When I do stop and let the real thoughts in I see all the ways in which I have failed and all the ways in which I continue to fail.
Let me count the ways for your perusal:

-I couldn't sustain my marriage. Not so much because either one of us were horrible people, but more because I couldn't bear to be his wife anymore. I have felt like I was literally dying under the weight of his expectations of what a wife should be and I couldn't be that kind of wife...and wouldn't even want to try to be that kind of wife.
-I couldn't lead a completely independent life because I am not financially solvent. Now, we cohabitate like quarrelsome siblings, neither one of us able to really have any sort of sustainable private life. It makes me feel ashamed to have to live like this.
-I have a friend who lives so far away from me that we will in all probability never be together IRL, yet I am exceedingly attached to him, beyond all reason. I know that he doesn't feel the same about me, although he may have at one time...now sometimes I read our old emails and want to cry when I remember how I imagined that this is a man I would someday have a life with. Now we email daily, more or less superficially, but if we stopped writing altogether I can't imaging being able to bear it.
-I have two lovers whom I care for, but don't have real relationships with. Team C is so peripheral in my life and leads very much his own life. I care for him, but what we have between us is simply good sexual chemistry and affection. Swordsman and I are more involved with each other's minds, but again, there is distance between us that is never going to be bridged as far as I can tell. We are enthralled with each other, but it isn't the same as having a true partner in life. I guess I would say that we are absolutely perfect for each other in every way, except for the fact that we could never sustain it if we actually lived our lives together as real people do...it is a dark, beautiful fantasy.

I do feel like I have done my honest best to be a good parent and my children are good people, partly as a direct result of me, their mother. I also feel content with my job. I am good at what I do, I receive satisfaction from that, and the people that I work for are getting what they pay for.

What is it about today that brings all this on? I just couldn't say. A little tiredness, letting my guard down, the gloom and chill in the air, a quiet day with too much time for thought....I'm sorry. If anyone actually read this to the end I thank you for hearing me.

Happy Anniversary to Me & My Boring Life

Wow. My blog and I have been together for one year to this very date. Happy Anniversary, Honey! Now, keep in mind that there were about two months between that first official post and my second official post. Since that time however, I have been keeping up pretty darn well for the most part. Ow! Ima break my arm with the back patting going on over here! I hope my blog sends me some flowers. haha! Ah, so lame, yet who cares?

Its Back Again

It is the triumphant return of the tickly throat and the buggery nose. I swear it is impossible to stay healthy either at home or work. I am drinking lots n' lots of water in a desperate, yet probably fruitless, attempt to keep a full fledged cold at bay. I entered my storytimes last night and this morning armed with my trusty water bottle and a few honey lemon cough drops and all was well. I told DR last night that I was going to battle this off with good deeds and water. What are my chances? Ah well...

I started a new book Monday night and so far I'm enjoying it very much. It is called A Ship Made of Paper. So far, it strikes me as being especially finely written, so I am content.

I just ordered a few CDs from Amazon. I have just felt the need lately to beef up my collection...so I decided to just go with it. I'd been threatening to pick up Donald Fagen's Morph the Cat and The Thrills So Much for the City, so I did. I also got a replacement copy of DF's Kamakiriad. I needed to a have it back, because along with Nightfly and Morph the Cat as bookends it completes Donald's solo trilogy. I also picked up Walter Becker's Eleven Tracks of Wack which I have never owned. Even big Steely Dan fans aren't too complimentary about Walter as a solo artist, but it still seemed like something I'd like to own and listen to on occasion.

In very personal news, I have not heard a peep from Team C in over a month. I'm not too torn up about it, as he has certainly come close to this point, although this has got to be a record. When I think of him, I do get that dip in my stomach...I am very attracted to him still...and perhaps as long as I am getting something out of our rare times together there is no special reason to call it all off. Who knows though? Maybe I will find that this is his way of calling it off. I guess we'll see what comes to pass. I rely more and more on the Poet Swordsman to keep me feeling the things that make the rest of life seem just that much better. He wrote me an email the other night, that while very erotic was also surprisingly tender. I feel lucky to have what I have with him.

Tick Tock

Time seems to be moving at an incredible rate lately. I guess it may be a symptom of my advanced age...once you hit 40 it is like being on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride at warp speed apparently.
I had a nice, relaxing Sunday yesterday. It was exciting to see the Season 6 premiere of one of my favorite shows, The Sopranos. Yes, even after almost two years I come crawling back to them. I also caught a new show that I fell for instantly. It is Big Love and it promises to be complicated, interesting, entertaining, and touching. Looking forward to more of both and am happy that HBO is there for me again on Sunday nights :-)

I Took The Simpson's Personality Test

And this is what I get!

You Are Barney

You could have been an intellectual leader... Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

The Simpsons Personality Test

I don't even LIKE beer! Maybe I'll develop a taste for it and really cultivate the whole belly thing...

Big Doings That I am Missing Out On

Today, a Saturday, I am at work. I am going to miss:
a) Watching my son get his new car (which he totally deserves)
b) Seeing that same son go off to his Sadie Hawkins dance with his little girlfriend.
Work does make me miss important home things from time to time. I try not to mind, because there isn't much to be done about it. The car thing could have been done tomorrow, but I am not the one in charge of that gift or the scheduling of giving that gift so... Just makes me wish I were the more cash-y parent, but that ain't never gonna happen as far as I can tell. I did leave him an envelope with some $$$ for dinner and pix tonight. I have also been promised pictures of him getting his car. WTG arranged with my son's girlfriend for them to be at Starbucks at a certain time. They will arrive in his old car, it will be whisked away and replaced by the new car, the kids will come out and after some confusion over where his car is, his girlfriend will hand him the keys to his new car. Meanwhile WTG and the other kids will be lurking nearby to watch the fun. See why I'm jealous I won't be there?
I guess I coulda called in sick, so I guess in the end I am the one making the choice not to be there...at least that is how it was explained to me....

Wow! She Loves Exclamation Points!

haha! My program went fine, hurrah! I read Miss Smith's Amazing Storybook and The Teddy Bear. I have two more weeks of this program. I get lots of brownie (brown noser) points for doing it and it isn't all that much work...but don't tell my supervisor that!

All's well in other news. Swordsman called me today and we spoke briefly...but effectively. Home is steady, for which I am grateful. Work is manageable. Friendships being tended to tenderly. No complaints. How great is that!<<<<<
Counting the heading, five exclamation points were used in this post. No exclamation points were harmed during the production of this post, as certified by the Board of Punctuation Rights.

Look! She Works Too!

Just getting ready to go on in and perform pt.1 of my California Young Reader Medal Program for kids in grades K-5. I'm not sure how much pub. was done for it, so any feelings of anxiety are mostly about hoping someone shows up for it! I'll let you know how it goes, as I'm certain that you are fascinated with library programming.

Oh, I Have a Brain Too!

Yes, I am not only about my raging libido! You do know I like to read, right? That proves something, right? Okay, maybe not....but I did want to mention that I am re-reading America the Beautiful. I have read it a couple of times and I keep hoping that Moon, as I like to call her, will publish another novel at some point. If you haven't read it and you enjoy the bildungsroman, you should definitly get your grubby paws on it ASAP. Okay.

Getting the Cyber Hots

The Swordsman is at his best today with the whole pulse pounding messaging going on. I am such an easy lass for the right words! I think it will be a couple of weeks until I actually come face to face with him, but if he can keep the tempurature this high, at least now and again, I am okay with that. Between the physical thrill and the hormone driven emotional connection he manages to keep me about as happy as I've ever been, seriously. I sometimes worry about how shallow I am turning out to be, but at the same time, there is some relief in finding that I can be relatively easy to please :-)

Keeping Busy

It seems to have been extra busy at work for the past few days. Nothing I can't keep up with...it is actually the kind of work I enjoy, such as preparing the paperwork for upcoming events and getting crafts ready for my upcoming programs. They are things that I am good at and the time passes more quickly.
Aside from that, not much to report on the life of l.b. Things at home are quiet and relatively peaceful I am always half waiting for the next big blow up or crisis, but until then I will try to enjoy the downtime. I need another book to start and have been reading way too many dopey magazines. Still listening to my B & S almost constantly while in the car. My next music purchase should be Morph the Cat, which is scheduled for release March 14. I'm tres, tres excited about it.
Sadly, nothing to report on my super secret wild life - haha! Team C has gone MIA, as seems to happen from time to time and even Master Swordsman is keeping a fairly low profile, for him.
All in all though? I can't really complain...so I won't :-)

Another Rainy Day

Just like in the B&S song, but at this point without the chocolate on the boil or the steaminess...
Yesterday got pretty steamy when the Swordsman called me. Oh, my. Something about the way that man speaks to me. Who knows when I will actually SEE him, though. Still, given all of the facts of my life, I am feeling about as happy and satisfied as I have ever been. There is something about being desired that leads me to feel so good! That intensity of feeling is very deeply comforting somehow.
Here's hoping for a good weekend for myself and any who might be reading. Treat yourselves to a little something special, okay?

Which Tarot Card Am I?

Oooohhhh...mysterious, eh?


You are the Devil card. The Devil is based on the

figure Pan, Lord of the Dance. The earthy

physicality of the devil breeds lust. The

devil's call to return to primal instincts

often creates conflict in a society in which

many of these instincts must be kept under

control. Challenges posed by our physical

bodies can be overcome by strength in the

mental, emotional, and spiritual realms. Pan

is also a symbol of enjoyment and rules our

material creativity. The devil knows physical

pleasure and how to manipulate the physical

world. Material creativity finds its output

in such things as dance, pottery, gardening,

and sex. The self-actualized person is able

to accept the sensuality and usefulness of

the devil's gifts while remaining in control

of any darker urges. Image from The Stone

Tarot deck.

http://hometown.aol.com/newtarotdeck/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Another Sunny Day

Another Sunny Day Lyrics
Album : The Life Pursuit
Artist : Belle & Sebastian

Another sunny day, I met you up in the garden
You were digging plants, I dug you, beg your pardon
I took a photograph of you in the herbaceous border
It broke the heart of men and flowers and girls and trees

Another rainy day, we're trapped inside with a train set
Chocolate on the boil, steamy windows when we met
You've got the attic window looking out on the cathedral
And on a Sunday evening bells ring out in the dusk

Another day in June, we'll pick eleven for football
We're playing for our lives the referee gives us fuck all
I saw you in the corner of my eye on the sidelines
Your dark mascara bids me to historical deeds

Everybody's gone you picked me up for a long drive
We take the tourist route the nights are light until midnight
We took the evening ferry over to the peninsula
We found the avenue of trees went up to the hill
That crazy avenue of trees, I'm living there still

There's something in my eye a little midge so beguiling
Sacrificed his life to bring us both eye to eye
I heard the Eskimos remove obstructions with tongues, dear
You missed my eye, I wonder why, I didn't complain
You missed my eye, I wonder why, please do it again

The lovin is a mess what happened to all of the feeling?
I thought it was for real; babies, rings and fools kneeling
And words of pledging trust and lifetimes stretching forever
So what went wrong? It was a lie, it crumbled apart
Ghost figures of past, present, future haunting the heart

I have been so feeling this song for the past few days! Sometimes a cool, beautiful song is all I need to fill my heart with good feelings. Well, that and some particularly luscious messages from the Swordsman by email...and one phone message that frankly brought me to my knees.

Harassment Training

Today I spent three hours, with a large number of other city employees, getting the facts about harassment. The lawyer who presented it did a fine job, making every attempt to make it interesting and relevant for us. It is just that the very nature of these events seems to numb my mind. I spent the time listening, of course....oh, who am I kidding? I did sudoku, which I don't even really enjoy all that much. When I completed it I gave myself a star and commented "Good job". Positive enforcement is really important. I also played a great deal of word association games with myself as the speaker sang out certain mind capturing words and phrases. My notes look like something a lunatic wrote. Oh, right.
Tonight, I am starting a new book. It is called Conversations with the Fat Girl. It looks lover-ly! xo

I (Heart) Einstein

Isn't he the greatest?

What is My Power Color?

Your Power Color Is Blue

Relationships and feelngs are the most important things to you. You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict. If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well. You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What's Your Power Color?

What Happened Today?

Some people were born on this date. I'm talkin' 'bout Zeppo Marx, Anthony Burgess, Edward Gorey, and George Harrison. Some people died on this date. Like, Thomas Moore and Tennessee Williams. For me, nothing seems to be happening on this date. I'm at work, it is quiet for a Saturday. Just me and Heat here, just as I like it. I am actually glad to be working today, as my oldest son and his family are moving house today and I have a legitimate excuse not to be helpful! Hey, I just did a major move a little over a year ago. I am NOT up for that particular joy again...that is what their friends are for :-)
Milly just gave me another cd today. It is Eveningland by Hem. I am all about getting more music lately. Yesterday, I bought a couple of cds with a gift card, so more free music! I chose Motown Number 1's and Garden State Soundtrack. So, at least I got all that going on...but thats about it. Haven't heard from the Swordsman in days and that has me a bit down I'll admit. Huh.

Good Day to Drive, Miss Daisy!

Today I had to drive into Burbank for a Children's Librarians Share Fair. Coming together to pool our ideas for programming, basically. Anyway, those meetings are usually pretty fun, because you get to meet new people who tend to like the same things you do and you get to see other people that you don't get to see to often...like my old boss and other people I've worked with. The drive in was rather bad with a great deal of traffic. When the meeting ended at noon, though, and I drove back here, there was almost no traffic and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. I put my top down, my radio up, and cruised on in feeling great! I have to admit I love my new car. Aaahhh.
In other news, I have been listening to some new cds courtesy of Milly. She gave me the latest from Belle & Sebastian, Tracy Chapman, and Sufjan Stevens. They are all really, really cool. I am especially into Belle & Sebastian's The Life Pursuit. Every single track is a keeper, but my favorites are 4 and 9 :-)
I am almost finished reading Persepolis.I had been wanting to read it for quite some time, but finally picked it up when Milly lent me a donation copy that came across her desk. I'm loving it and can't wait to read the sequels.
Do you sense how empty my life would be without the Milly influence? haha! Best Bear ever!

Back to Work, Serf!

Back after my three day weekend and the patrons are also back with a vengence. They always come in droves when we are closed an extra day. Ah, well.
My weekend wasn't so bad. The weather was bad, but the activities were okay after all. Little guy lost a game and won a game on Saturday. It was freezing during his outdoor game in the morning, but I had a nice cupa to warm me. Sunday was the baby's birthday party. It wasn't raining so it ended up being at the park and it went fine. I brought my delicious campfire beans and some extra soda. There were also hot dogs, macaroni salad, deviled eggs, chips n salsa, and of course, the cake. I was glad when it was over though, or when I could comfortably leave. It was freezing and I was sort of bored. Eh. Monday I saw Winter Passing. I liked it, but now can't think how to describe it to people who ask.
More mañana. xo

My Weekend is Looking Suckadelic

Here I am at work, having a nice quiet day, as that is how Fridays will tend to be be here. However, I am forced to contemplate the coming weekend which is not tickling my fancy all that much. Well, tomorrow is fine. A couple of basketball games...I can handle that definitely. Sunday brings a family party that I am just not looking forward to for one reason or another. It is not MY party (not for me, not hosted by me) but I feel a little responsible and may have to actually use my house to host it if the park idea gets rained out. The people coming? I don't really want them at my house. Pray for sunshine, would you?
Oh, it is a long weekend, so I get a bonus day off Monday. I'll spend the day honoring Washington and Lincoln in some way...perhaps I shall polish up my wooden teeth and free my slaves. Party on!

Has My Brain Gone Missing?

This rarely happens, but I find myself completely unable to finish the last book I took out, The Reasons I Won't Be Coming. I just could not get into it. I actually felt like I was reading...babble, more or less. Was it just me? I know the book has been well reviewed. I don't know. At any rate, I have decided to set it aside and am just doing some 'work' reading. I like to occasionally pick up a Children's book and see what the kids are reading. So, I am enjoying Flipped. Very cute and I can understand what is going on :-) That shouldn't take me long to read, so my next book is ready to go. I'm going to try The Accidental. It has won the Man Booker and the Whitbread awards...it looks like something I might like...and if I can't read it I may have to do some serious thinking about the state of my brain!

A Day Late....

....and a dollar short, all the sweet cookies in the store been bought. The prize fish in the creek been caught. Everything choice is gone, might as well travel on. Where am I remembering this little tune from? I'm not sure. Anyway, I meant to write yesterday! I wanted to ask all y'all to Be My Valentines

Also, ahem, a belated Happy Burfday to me. It's my party. I can cry if I want to. Luckily, though, no crying. I had a nice day. Lots of good wishes from lots of good people. The Swordsman surprised me and called and was oh, so sweet. Why must I constantly underestimate him? He is a lovely, kind person in spite of his intensity.
All in all, I'd have to say life is pretty good right now.

A Big Surprise

Yesterday morning the family got together for my birthday brunch at Peppertree, our usual gathering spot. It was a nice time and all of the kids managed to show up, minus my nephew. My big present was....wait for it....a new car! Okay, not new new, but 10 years newer than my old car. It was WTG's doing. He can be great like that...when he is not being a bastard. It was a total surprise and a lovely one at that. I also got some candy, lots of socks, some new shirts, a Wxx-Mxxx gift card ($100 goes a long way at that place). I also got a sweet framed picture of the five kids together at the Big Tree. It was a lovely celebration. Today at work they gave me a cake and a card. It was so sweet. I just love birthdays...and it isn't even really my big day just yet! Well, the actual day I guess will be a bit anticlimactic. I can live with that :-)
Oh, Team C gave me a gift last time we got together...I was so thrilled he remembered! It means a lot to me. I don't think the Swordsman even knew when it was, but I sort of let it drop last Friday. Yeah, I like to get the word out. He doesn't seem like the type to go out of his way to acknowlege something like that, but I just thought I'd put it out there and see....

Da Good Life 2.0

Yesterday was...I have no words. The thing about the Swordsman is the little Cult of Personality thing he has going on. I've never experienced anything like what I experienced with him yesterday. That sounds more grandiose or something than I mean for it to sound. He is just so sure of what he wants and I guess I find that very powerful. I would be hard pressed to explain it. And I just tried out a couple of sentences, but had to delete them as they were not what I wanted to say. I guess I'll just close by saying that I am changed in some way, at least temporarily, and it feels great.

My Habitual Confusion Surfaces Again

Ugh. I bore the bejeebers out of myself. I can't imagine how anyone else tolerates me. Okay, so yesterday I saw Team C. ohmygodohmygodohmygod... It was like that, you know? Amazing. Makes my heart pound just thinking about it. Today, however, I can barely bask in the glow, because I am busy worrying about tomorrow when I am supposed to see Master Swordsman. I haven't actually seen him in so long and we've been just talking and writing and writing and talking. I get worried and nervous. There have been so many times when I am reminded that he really is a kind man and has had occasion to be a friend to me. Still, I also get the feeling sometimes that when he is thinking about things he is thinking of something much different than me...well, that isn't a clear sentence, but perhaps you get the gist? With him, there is always the worry that I am going to disappoint him or he is going to...I don't know...scare me, sort of.

***

And as I spoke here, he responded to an email I sent him earlier confessing to my feelings and he wrote back the best message ever. He sure does have a knack for calming me down after he has gotten me all wound up...

***

Oh, and I know this sounds bad, but it is not as bad as it sounds! Yes, there are two things going on in one week...but think of ALL those weeks when NOTHING is going on anywhere with anyone!

Da Good Life

Feeling good lately, feeling calm. Things at work are plodding along, but happily, Milly is back from her vacation. When she is gone my inbox is so static! I was sort of good and had yogurt and Pretz for dinner. I can't say it was all that satisfying.
I am reading a couple of different books right now. One is a re-read called Real Life. This has been a sentimental favorite of mine for years and I re-read it now and again. I started it because I had nothing new this weekend. Monday, I did get a new book and am also working on that. It is called The Reasons I Won't Be Coming. I sort of stumbled onto it and had been meaning to read Seven Types of Amibiguity, but hadn't gotten to it yet...
In tv news, House is back on tonight! Yay! I hang my head with shame and admit that I am watching more lame reality shows than I ever have in my life. I have somehow become devoted to American Idol (well, of course), Dancing with the Stars, Skating with Celebrities (I know, I know), plus Intervention...I think there are even more, but I need to stop listing them because I am freaking myself out...
Oh! Good news for me. I have a super secret lunchtime mission on the calendar with Team C tomorrow. Tres, tres exciting. I adore Team C.

Weekend at l.b.'s

Finally, a weekend when I didn't feel like the victim of a driveby. It was quite pleasant. Went to a movie and dinner with WTG on Friday night after work. We are trying, still and again, to not be so rat-in-a-cage despairing about our situation. The movie was Match Point and it was superb. Really well done and provocative. You couldn't begin to guess that it was a Woody Allen film...which these days is pretty much a great thing to have achieved. Luck, luck, luck....
The dinner was at Matt Denny's, which is usually good, but on that night was not so good. Too bad.
Saturday my little guy had not one, but two basketball games. It is so much easier and more fun to go to games now than it sometimes was back in the day when I had three playing and two more little ones to drag around from court to court. Now I just stroll in, beverage in hand, and sit nicely to enjoy the game.
Sunday, I went to the movies alone and saw Brokeback Mountain. OMG, it was amazing. I have heard so much about it at this point and read so many reviews that I was prepared to be underwhelmed. This movie was so lovely, though. So sad and sweet and beautiful. All of the actors were working at the top of their form. Oh, I just loved it.
So, all in all, it was a fine weekend and I am hoping for a fine week full of adventures.