I Resolve to Be Resolute in My Resolve

The countdown has commenced.  I guess in some places it is already the New Year.  Twenty Ten, Two Thousand Ten...pick your poison :-)   I alluded yesterday to my feelings about Resolutions.  I see their value, but I kind of fear them.  Something about putting it all out there and making an official declaration about what I want to do makes me feel summarily defeated.   I think that right now, my life is actually very good.  After many years of feeling trapped and almost wild with grief for what I'd let my life become, I am living a life that feels more true to who I am.  I remain insecure though.  I look at myself physically and emotionally and know that there is virtually nothing that doesn't need work.  It is hard not to feel defeated with that sort of mindset.  I know, logically, that the way to deal with that is to focus on one thing at a time...often, this will help other things fall into line...one improvement affects others without you maybe even being aware of it.  

Here are the two main things that are on my mind as we enter a new decade:

1.  My body.  I walk around in it comfortably.  I feel strong and healthy.  I've mentioned before that I tend to disregard my physical self a lot...I am just this soul looking out through these eyes.  But when I really stop and look at myself, I admit that it hurts me.  I've never been beautiful.  I will never be beautiful.  I've been mostly okay with that for a long, long time.  Still, sometimes I see the things I could do to at least be more pleasing to the eyes of others.  I could lose weight, for sure.  I could do something with my hair, put on some make-up, dress to please the eye rather than for my own comfort.  And part of me wants to do that.  Wants to hear someone tell me I am nice to look at, nice to touch.  But I don't know...part of me just wants to be this me.  The one that feels so good when I don't focus on it too much.  I guess I need to do some real thinking on this in the new year.

2. My emotional neediness.  It is a constant source of pain, if I am honest.  It is embarrassing.  It is awful to NEED so much.  And I am not sure what is worse...silently hoping for more and not getting it or working up the nerve to ask and not getting it or just the shame of the need itself.  Probably the worst part is how unappealing need is.  Who wants that in front of them...please love me, please accept me, please talk to me.  Awful.  I want so much to be a stronger, more self-reliant person.  Content and self-contained.  Able to meet my own emotional needs through...I don't know...what do people do that with?  Hobbies?  Keeping so busy that you never have time to think of loneliness?   Or maybe it just comes naturally after a while.  You sit with yourself and feel perfectly content.  I mean, I do feel that sometimes.  But not often enough.  I need more of that strength.  And that is something else for me to work on in the new year.

So yeah, I have some work to do in 2010 and beyond.  And I know this post was a bit sad and pathetic.  But I remain filled with hope.  There is no reason that I can't improve myself this year and every year hereafter...as many as I am given, please let me use them wisely.  And thanks for being here, fellow bloggers.  You guys are all my inspirations in one way or another.

Happy New Year!!!!

 

It's Time to Stop and Start All Over

How about a little Choose and Defend?  It is Wednesday and I have New Year's resolutions on my mind.  I tend to be a bit wary of resolutions.  Psychologically, I believe it can be healthy to set goals...to speak of them and make a promise to work towards achieving something positive in our lives.  There is certainly something slightly thrilling in the thought of a brand new start.  A chance to do better.  My cynical attitude is only based on the fact that, let's face it, I am kind of lackadaisical. I may talk more about this later...lucky you!  But for today, let's all have good intentions!  Let's Choose and Defend our intentions, right here, right now.  If you had to Choose one of these goals, which would you Choose?  And, can you Defend your choice?  What made you Choose this over that?

For the coming year, which is the more pressing issue for you:


Getting Your Finances in Order

OR

Getting Your Personal Life in Order

Not to bring us all down, but surely one or both could use some work, right?  A little maybe?  So, which needs the most attention from you as we move into this New Year?  Choose and Defend! 

The Afterglow? Aftermath? After-something...

Aaahhh...here I am, coming down after the Big Christmas Weekend O' Fun.  Let me share with you. I would try to be brief, but you know me....

Christmas Eve Thursday:   I worked until 1 pm.  On the way home from work I stopped by the grocery store to get my offerings for the Christmas Eve dinner that WTG ended up hosting.   I dropped my stuff by his place and went on home to chill for a bit.  The evening turned out a bit different than I'd planned.  Five minutes before we were going over there, WTG called and said to bring all the family presents.  He didn't see any point to having Xmas morning too.  Um, okay.  So we did all of our present opening that evening, after a fine meal.  The whole family was there except for Secret Agent Man, who as I mentioned, was working.  Otherwise it was a full house.  There was lots of good food and TONS of presents, especially for our three little people.  They made out like bandits. 

Here is my haul...Sense and Sensability and Sea Monsters, a little reading light, a Starbucks gift card, pictures of the kids, a cute box that looks like a book, a crock pot, The Office desk calendar, socks, pajamas, ugg-type boots, and pretty scents.  Not bad, eh?

Christmas Day Friday:  Since we had opened all of our gifts we didn't need to get up early Christmas morning.  It was the first time in about 25 years I hadn't done that!  We did eventually get going.  We decided to go out for a nice Christmas brunch at one of the places that was open...Dennys.  It was me, Girlie Girl, Handsome Lad, the Kick Back Dude gang, plus my mom.  After we ate, my mom went home and the rest of us plotted our day.  We decided to go to the movies, but we'd have to go in shifts because of the kids.  So first, Princess Diva and I went to see It's Complicated.  We really liked it...very funny and well done.  Next, Kick Back Dude, Girlie Girl, and Handsome Lad went to see Avatar.  They seemed to enjoy it....said it was amazing to look at, but very long :-) 

Here is our posh Chrismtas dinner from Burger King.  Little Prince looks a bit offended.  Perhaps rightly so, if he was expecting roast goose or something...

Finally, me GG and HL made a break for it and headed home.  Later on, after finishing with his family stuff, DR came over and it was the absolute perfect ending to a very nice day.

Saturday:  Slept in.  Aaahhhh...  Finally got going and went out to have a late lunch with the KBD gang.  DR and I took off after to do some shopping.  He had to buy something for his nephew's birthday.  Poor little fellow had the nerve to be born on the 28th.  We took our time wandering around and he found what he wanted.  He also wanted to find a new Ken Ken puzzle book, so that he and Princess Diva could work on it together as their little bonding activity, but we never did find one.  When we got home we just relaxed, watching tv and eating snacks...because apparently you cannot have enough food on Christmas weekend :-)

Sunday:  After we got up late, again, DR headed back to his place and the rest of us headed out again for yet another meal.  My dad and stepmom came down to do their Christmas with us.  We had a nice meal at our traditional venue, Peppertree, then back to my place for yet more gift exchanging...and yes, I did set out snacks.  *sigh*   They gave me a couple of pairs of fancy sweats and some cha-ching! cash.  Always appreciated.  After they left, we waited until it got dark then went out on a Christmas light viewing walkabout.  Of course, we usually have this activity before Christmas, but this year was all thrown off and strange with Princess Diva's unexpected hospitalization.  But we did want to get out there while there are still some lights.  It was lovely.  Sadly, a number of the homes, although we could see that their lights were still up, choose not to display them any longer.  Next year, we will definitely go before Christmas to get the full show. 

 

Here are Miss Personality and Love Bug looking cute amidst a well lighted home.  We managed to keep Little Prince in the stroller, or we would never have been able to walk the blocks without setting up a tent at some point.

The ladies did have some trouble with the concept that they were looking at people's private property...they wanted to get very up close and personal with everything they saw.  All those pretty lights were just way too tempting.

And THAT was my Big Christmas Weekend O' Fun.  I sort of dreaded it, sort of stressed about it...and it turned out to be a good, if busy time.  I hope your weekends were wonderful, too.  Now...onto the New Year!  What amazing things are in store for us in 2010?  I can't wait to find out.

This Musical Message is For War is Over

Holly Jolly

  Merry Christmas from me,  laura b. @  What Fresh Hell is This?  Thanks for stopping by my own little Island of Misfit Toys.   I hope Santa treated you right this year.  *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*

Celebrate Good Times. Come On!

 Here is the way our little Casa de _________ is looking at the moment.  Tres festive and present-y, no?

I am happy to report that WTG was able to pull his large head out of his large ass and get it together in time for a nice family Christmas.  He still isn't talking to me, but a few days ago we all received a mass text saying he was putting aside his evil until after the New Year.  Everyone was invited to his place for Xmas Eve dinner.  Well, hallelujah.  I'd be all self-righteous and refuse to show, but that would only hurt me!  So, of course I will be there, as will the rest of the family...except for Secret Agent Man, who is working every single holiday for the big bucks it offers.  I don't blame him...I did that when I was his age too.  Well, not his age, because I already had two kids by then...but you know what I mean.  It is a young, single person's thing to do.  Anyway...I am sure it will be a really nice evening and I am looking forward to it in spite of myself :-D

Tomorrow, Girlie Girl and I will go back over there so that the kids can be together to open their gifts.  After that, I am expecting a quiet, peaceful day of gloating over my new acquisitions.  DR is coming over later in the day, after he has done his family stuff too. 

I am taking this whole next week off from work.  Yay!  I am way excited.  I have no special plans beyond sleeping in and probably laying on the couch watching movies.  Seriously.  You people would be amazed at the depths of my laziness.  Or maybe by now you wouldn't be even a little bit surprised :-)    Some of us do go back a ways, after all. 

Anyway....I sincerely wish you all a Merry Christmas!   And as us old hippies say, if you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with!  haha!  I mean, ho ho ho! HO!  

Festivus For the Rest of Us (A Song)

The Festivus Song
written 2003
by Rockyhors (DR), Wildblue (me),
Poppaspank, Lyonheart
and John H. Spencer.

Now it's time for Festivus
a holiday for the rest of us
no dreidel to spin
or fat guy creepin' in
a season that quickly ends
gather your family and friends
this part is the most fun
tell each and every one
how this last trip round the sun

every wrong thing that they've done

has really let you down

but no need to wear a frown

beeeee--caaaaaause

---- now it's time for Festivus ...

Now it's time for Festivus
A holiday for the rest of us.
No big ticket items
Or games of gelt hide 'ems
Its no festival of unity
But you'll speak with impunity
Call your dad and mother
Invite your sis and brother
Tell 'em what you REALLY think
Bottoms up, lets have a drink
Spread the ugly truth around
Cry, if you must, without a sound
Beeeeeeeee-caaaaaaause
---Now its time for Festivus.....

Now it's time for Festivus
a Holiday for the rest of us

We'll gather round the festive pole
an icon of majestic length
and stretch and flex as we prepare
the challenge of the feats of strength
We'll feast as friends who hate us
are preparing to berate us
we gather for this yearly meal
with family we'd like not to see
why subject ourselves to this ordeal?
because, you putz, the chow is free
Beeeeeeeeeeee-caaaaaaaaaause (gasp)
----- now it's time for Festivus!......

Now is the time for Festivus
a holiday for the rest of us
but keep us far away from mistletoe
because we really don't trust Uncle Joe
and big expensive gifts for kids are poxes
because they end up playing with the boxes
you know that you can count on sweetie's mom
to tell you why your turkey was a bomb
while in the den Ed, Bill and Walter stare
as if a football game were on the air
you're tired of each other -- that much is clear
and so you smile and wave "Same Time Next Year"
beeeeeeeeee-cauuuuuuuuuuse
---- now it's time for Festivus! . . .

And now, it is the time for Festivus,
A holiday made for the rest of us.
Blow out the pilot light and crank up the stove,
Insert your head and reunite with Jove.
Beware the cars careening to and fro,
don't sin too much, and don't eat yellow snow.
The carolers evoke a thoughtful grin--
One well aimed .22 will damp their din.
The yule log burns, it is a merry light
It's Presto scent's like smoking Samsonite.
The guests are gussied up, so no one knows
that Uncle Fred has cankers on his nose.
And all those joys abound with little fuss
Because it is the time of Festivus
--------------------------------------------
Hope you all enjoyed singing along, once again :-) Who wants to start the Airing of Grievences? haha! Any votes on who will dominate the Feats of Strength? Ah, I kill myself, really....

I Am..... Star Bear!

Hear me roar!

Here I am modeling the latest in Sebastien Bear Wear.  I get so excited when I get that envelope at my door!  Thanks so much, Sebastien.  Keep on doing what you do, which is being all artistic and awesome.  And I will keep doing what I do, which is being all admiring and attitudinal.

And now...a Taraday celebration!  Namely, 10 Things I Like About Winter.  Tough, because Winter is not my thang...but let me give it a go.

1.  For me, probably the more clothes on, the better.  So, there is that.

2. I like the way the mountain tops look when they are covered with snow.

3. There is the whole bearish hibernation thing, which I mentioned yesterday...I think.

4. I like turning the heater on in the bathroom and taking a really warm bath or shower.  Very relaxing.  But not in the Summer.

5.  People seem to bake more.  And then they bring baked goods to work for sharing.

6. My birthday falls in the Winter.  Yay!

7. Hard to put a positive spin on shorter days....but how about this?  More time to enjoy the mysteries of the night sky?  That may work.

8.  Hot chocolate with marshmallows is a natural during the cooler weather.

9.  Sometimes it rains through night and you get to wake up to a fresh, sparkly world.

10.  Winter is good for cuddling.  Awesome.  I love that.

Hey, I did it!  Not bad for a non-fan of Winter!  Almost makes me a fan.  Now, come on over and lets snuggle!  ;-p  

The Days Are Short, But the Nights Are Long

First thing I must do in this post is wish the Alien a very Happy Birthday!  Yesterday's musical message was for him, but today is his actual birthday....so have a great one, Mr. CoffeeGround.

I also wanted to say that yesterday's musical message was my 1,400th post.  Of course a vast majority of these posts are the most fluff headed drivel...but still!  1,400!  Also, I believe that yesterday was Winter Solstice.  Now, the days will slowly begin to lengthen again.  It is magical.  And scientific.  My favorite thing about Winter (or, as we affectionately refer to this season here in Southern California, "Sweater Weather") is how bearlike it makes me feel.  I just want to hole up in my den and hibernate.  Nice. 

My weekend turned out totally different from what I'd vaguely pictured in my head, but was still very good.  DR came over Friday night.  We stayed up until almost morning watching tv on the couch...I assure you, I am super scintillating company after 1 or so, but whatever.  At the crack of dawn Saturday morning Princess Diva and the kids were at the door banging away, wanting in.  Okay, it was almost noon, but still!  haha!  It was fun.   They spent the day with us and so it was this whole louder day than I'd planned, but definitely had it's great moments.  Kids will do that. 

Sunday, DR had to leave earlier in the day than usual to fetch his mom from a little visit she was having with friends of hers.  I decided to finish with my holiday shopping no matter what.   I was going to be finished!   So I entered into the fray and just did it and now it is done.  Humph.  And whew.

Here is the folding bamboo basket that I got as a gift at our library's holiday breakfast and gift swap this morning.    We ate a baked egg dish, fruit salad, little muffins and cinnamon rolls.  We did the present game, where you bring something and you pick something and the next person can steal it...you know that game, right?  Usually, I try to get myself a gift card, but this year I had no desire to do any more shopping so I totally went for this orphan looking box, wrapped simply.  When I opened it, I knew no one would try to take it from me.  And actually, I love it.  I like things made of bamboo, and I like things I can keep other things in....so it is perfect for me!  Thanks to whoever brought this gift :-)

Hope you can all get though these next few days in the proper spirit of the season...or just get through these next few days.  Either way.  I'm trying!  And I think it is working.   Now, I must go read your blogs and see what you all got up to over the weekend.  Naughty or nice?  Hmmmm....

This Musical Message is for AlienCG - Happy Birthday

Friday 5 - Wrapping

Time keeps on slippin', slippin' slippin'...and here we are again at Friday!  I am happy and excited to report that today I used my lunchtime to get Princess Diva home from the hospital!  Yay!  Everyone is so thrilled and relieved that no matter what other nonsense is going on it is bound to be a happy Christmas. 

So how's about a little Friday 5 to head into the weekend?  I say, sure, why not? 

1. How seriously do you take gift-wrapping when you give gifts?  I wouldn't say that I take gift-wrapping seriously.  I do try to choose cute paper and I want my gifts to be presentable...but this particular task is not one I am willing to become stressed over.   And gift BAGS are awesome. 
2. Do you save gift-wrapping to re-use later?  Gift wrap, usually not.  Gift bags, though, are another story.  They are hard to ruin, really...so why not use them again?
3. How picky are you when it comes to selecting wrapping paper?  Not that.  I mean, I go where I am going to get the paper and pick out what I like best from the selection.  If they don't have the "perfect" paper, do I go somewhere else?  No. 
4. How much attention do you pay to the way gifts you receive are wrapped?  Not much, for the most part.  I mean, sometimes you get something so beautifully wrapped you hate to open it and you must comment on it's beauty...and I can appreciate that.  But I'm usually also sort of eager to get to what is inside.  I don't judge people based on their wrapping skills or choice of wrap.  I'm okay with the funny papers :-)
5. Among people you know, who is the most talented at wrapping gifts? I don't really have any super fancy wrapping friends.  However, both DR and Milly are very tidy and precise when they wrap.  I admire their care and patience. 

I hope to hear some comments on this...I am truly curious as to how important other people consider gift presentation.  Thanks for participating, and have a pretty weekend with a huge bow on top!

Making a List, Obsessing Over It. Gonna Find Out....

Here is our litty bitty Christmas tree.

I went shopping yesterday morning before work, then in the evening after work, with Girlie Girl and Handsome Lad.

I swear, I am working my way up towards excitment.

It is still not clear who is hosting Christmas eve, although Princess Diva is still holding out hopes of being the one to do it.  Hm.  She is still hospitalized, so that may be wishful thinking.  But maybe not!  I just don't know.   I could do it at my place as well, so that could happen.  I wouldn't mind a bit.

I don't know what will happen Christmas morning.  Last year, no one (WTG) was feeling pissy or anything, so we were all able to be together for the kids to open their presents.  This year, WTG is not speaking to me, so although I'm sure he'd love to have all the kids there with him for Christmas morning, I am not sure if I'd be welcome.  Maybe they could come, as a group to my house after they finish there?  I don't know.  I'll admit.  I am feeling a bit anxious and sad about this part of the holiday celebration.  I wish WTG would just grow up, although it is foolish to to wish for something like that at this point.

 DR says he doesn't really "do" Christmas.  He has issues with it.  I can fully understand that, as I have my share of issues as well, but I think it may be different when you have kids and they grew up celebrating.  I don't feel I can exactly opt out...and I'm not sure I'd want to anyway.  But it all leaves me feeling unsure of how this holiday will actually play out.  I guess I will see...and really, I'm sure it will be fine in the end.  Isn't it always?

What are your Christmas plans?

Make Mine Extra Hot, Hottie.

Time for a nice, warm Choose and Defend Wednesday treat.  It has been anywhere from icy cold to a bit chilly lately, so you need to come inside and have a warm beverage.  Now, what will it be? 

Hot Apple Cider

OR

Hot Cocoa

I know it is poor hostessing not to let you have both.  Really, you could have both...but I want to know which you'd prefer...maybe which you'd go for first thing...and why?  Because that is the nature of Choose and Defend.  And we don't want to mess with the very nature of this thing.  So, Choose and Defend and have a happy Wednesday!

What a Load of Pony*

This is going to be one of my typical downloading my brain posts.  Let's see what's up there.

- It was a good weekend.  Quiet.  I worked on Saturday and it was very reasonable.  DR came over Saturday evening and we went out and ate too much.  After that, I grew sleepy at a normal time...and he stayed up all night reading.  That lead to a long, quiet Sunday, with the household, excepting me, just dreaming the day away.  I did finish three loads of laundry, a couple of ken ken puzzles, and got in a bit of reading of my own.  Then it was dinner, Dexter, and off he goes.  Dexter was AMAZING by the way.  Anyone else watch?  Don't want to be a spoiler if anyone is waiting.  Also don't want to go on about it if no one cares :-)

- Princess Diva is still in the hospital.  The doctors seem to have decided that she is in no danger.  They are going to assume that she has a virus and that it will run its course in due time.  Her immune system is improving, although her fever and back pain remain.  I'm glad there seems to be no cause for alarm, but bothered that we may never find out what this is!  At least the children are doing fine, cared for piecemeal last week between their dad, me, my mom and sister, their other great grandma, and Girlie Girl.  As of last night, Princess Diva's mom was brought back into town.  She lives in Texas, but doesn't work, so seemed in spite of her weirdness to be the most logical person to step in for a bit.  Now Princess Diva can get better, Kick Back Dude can work, and hopefully this will all be resolved soon.

- Otherwise, things are fine on the home front and fine at work.  It is our in-between Storytime sessions time...so that changes the structure of my Tuesdays and Wednesdays for the next few weeks.  Storytimes are one of my favorite parts of this job, but it is is nice to get the breaks we have a couple times a year.  I go back fresh and ready to be fun some more :-)  Oh, and I have officially started my Christmas shopping, finally.  I do tend to wait, but once I get started I can roll with it and expect to be fairly wrapped up after this weekend.  That is reasonable, right?

Ummm...okay.  Guess that was the bulk of what was rolling around up there in my teeny brain.  Thanks as always for your patience.  Feel free to tell me some stuff too!  And you will receive super glittery bonus points if you can tell me what my title means. 

This Musical Message is For the Conscious Laden

At Least Some of the Movies Are Good

I can grow a bit Scrooge-esque around this time of year.  I like the idea of a time of coming together and giving, but I dislike feeling forced into it at this one particular time of year.  Realistically, am I forced?  No, that isn't really it.  I guess it amounts to me not being a strong enough person to ignore this social norm.  And I want people to know that I love them!  If they need gifts now to know that, then they shall have them.  Of course, I like getting gifts too.  I guess I just wish it were less expected and could happen randomly at any time :-)  As for the whole "reason for the season" thing and the "Happy Birthday, Jesus" banners, I am not too religious, so I can't be outraged on Jesus' behalf at how commercialized everything has become.  I think the Jesus I've read about would approve of thinking of one another with a spirit of generosity....but I also suspect that he'd prefer those things to be going on year round.  Yeah, me and Jesus, thinking alike again. 

Second paragraph and I am just getting to the point of this post.  Nothing new there.  I wanted to celebrate an Eclectic Holiday...a day late.  See, today is Start Your Own "Psychic Friends Network" Day, which I fully support.  Yet I feel it would be an inopportune time to start my own business in this bad economic climate.  So for now I am going to leave that all to Dionne Warwick.  Instead, I wanted to celebrate yesterday's holiday - Make a List of Your Favorite Holiday Movies Day.   So, here you are, in no particular order.

1. Anything Rankin Bass - I just watched The Year Without a Santa Claus.  Who doesn't love the Snow Miser -Heat Miser song?  This genre would also include, among others, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Little Drummer Boy, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, and 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. 

2. A Christmas Story - You'll put yer eye out!

3. The Ref - And you thought your family was difficult.  Hilarious, honestly.

4. Elf - Will Ferrell is a human raised as an elf.  More adorable than it sounds, I swear.

5. It's a Wonderful Life - I wish I had a million dollars...Hot dog!

6. Bad Santa - Aw, I miss Bernie Mac. Sort of the anti-Christmas movie...but not entirely.

7. The Nightmare Before Christmas - A little dark and demented.  Perfect antidote to the sweetness in the air.

What are some of your favorites?

Hope that you are all having a good weekend.  Maybe watching a holiday classic?  Most certainly being less Bah Humbug than me!  Stay strong :-)

Friday 5 - Remorse

Ah, I like Friday 5!   They always make me think and they provide me with some much needed structure for my post.  So here is this week's and it features one of my most popularly felt emotions!  Here you go:

Buyer’s remorse is a well-known condition that strikes us all, but what other kinds of remorse have you experienced?

1. When did you last experience emailer’s remorse? Yesterday.  I don't have to get all merlot-ed up to send a bad email.  I mostly send awful, wish I could take it back, emails when I am feeling particularly down and am pathetically seeking reassurance.  Awful.  Embarrassing.  But it happens.

2. When did you last experience diner’s remorse? Wednesday night when I ate an entire 12" sandwich from Subway.  I tend to find that 6" is not quite enough, so I keep eating...but the whole thing is too much and just makes me feel like it wasn't a good idea.  It was delicious though.  Seafood sensation, Italian herbs and cheese bread, provolone, a little lettuce and onion, salt and pepper.  Yum.  But I can't believe I ate the whoooole thing :-)

3. When did you last experience movie-goer’s remorse? I actually am not sure about that.  I don't get out to the movies as much as I used to....but wait...yeah, it was awhile ago, but I do remember how much I regretted seeing My Sister's Keeper a few months ago.  That was roughly $20 and 90 minutes of my life gone forever. 

4. When did you last experience caring friend’s remorse?  Hm.  Well, maybe a week or so ago?  It was unnecessary , but I know there was remorse involved.  

5a. When did you last experience lover’s remorse?  Honestly, I don't know how to answer this one.  It isn't that it is too personal or anything.  I am just not sure how to take it.  Regret for something I did to or with a lover?  Regret at how I treated a lover or a lover treated me?  A lot of the remorse I have in my life revolves around my marriage and most of that remorse just has to do with how LONG I stayed after I should have thrown in the towel.  But hard to associate that with "lover's" anything.  I guess I can say that aside from all that yuck, there is little about my love life that I have any remorse about.  So, there's that.

An alternative question is provided in case that one was, in fact, too personal...and I will answer this one too!

 5b. When did you last experience function-attender’s remorse?  I guess I had a little of that at the city holiday party.  It had it's moments, but I don't know...when I was there, listening to the looooong speeches, I did sort of wish I wasn't there.

Have a remorseless weekend!

No News is Good News?

Still no word on exactly what is wrong with Princess Diva.  Her immune system is worse today than yesterday.  Tests, tests, tests, but no clear results...except that her immune system is extremely weakened.  She still has a fever and migraines.  We are all just hoping that the doctors can figure this out and send her home.  So again, all good thoughts appreciated.

On a happier note, Girly Girl participted in the 2nd Annual Spelling Bee at her school.  She and her friend claim they mostly do it because they enjoy making the shirts.  She did much better this year though and I know she was proud of herself.  I was too!  I am not a skilled speller, at all.  So I am a great admirer of the spellers in the world.

Also, as long as you are here, please take a look at the latest incarnation of our Library Hamster...

Meet Hamster Potter of "Hamster Potter and the Sorcerer's Wheel".  It is hard to tell, but he is sporting a Gryffindor cape, his signiture glasses, and he holds a tiny wand.  This hamster costume was brought to us by one of our computer techs.  Everyone wants to be in on dressing up the hamster!  

I guess that is all I have.   And lets all hope for good news.  Thanks.

Do You Have a Problem With This One If the Results Are the Same?

Hola, good people, and welcome to Choose and Defend Wednesday!   I was so happy to have Choose and Defend Wednesday come around, as I needed the distraction.   Since Monday night, Princess Diva has been in the hospital with a fever of unknown origin.  So far, tests do not come up with any reason for this persistant fever and since broad spectrum antibiotics haven't done anything to help, they are assuming something viral.  Meanwhile, they are just keeping here there until the fever goes away as mysteriously as it came...at least that is how it's looking.  Of course we're all worried and scrambling around to help with the kids so Kick Back Dude can run out to see her and go out on some of his service calls.  His boss is being ridiculously unsympathetic.  That is what happens when jobs get so precious.

I do know that Princess Diva will be okay and we will all get through this.  But if you wanted to send some good thoughts this way, they'd be most welcome.  And, as I said, I am happy to have this fun distraction...you know how I love my Choose and Defends.  So, hospitals!  No one wants to be there...but what if you were given this choice and you were able to completely suspend reality and enter the land of the television hospital?  Which hospital would you choose?  

Princeton‑Plainsboro Teaching Hospital / House M.D.

OR

Sacred Heart / Scrubs

There are lots of other television hospitals.  TV writers love that setting and those characters.  But these are two of my favorites and even if you didn't watch either of them, you must know something about them...cultural osmosis, if nothing else.  So Choose!  And tell me about it...what decided it for you?  Defend. 

Thanks, as always, for playing along.  And stay healthy!  I insist!

Super! Thanks for Asking!

Oh, hello there! I didn't see you come in. I was just, uh, working! Yes, that's it! I was working. Because it is Monday and I am at work. What's that you say? You want to know what is going on in my intricate and amazing mind? Shush...we'll just go with that, shall we? Great!

- On Friday, this kid got into a fight in the parking lot and at some point came inside and hid a knife behind some books. It is disconcerting thinking of children running around with, like, big blades in their pockets. Then the security guard was all...Should I turn it in? He could get into big trouble. Uh duh. He's a nice enough man, but yeah, not feeling so terribly safe.

- Good weekend! DR was sick for a few days, but by Saturday he was well enough to come over. Yay! We watched The Jerk together...one of my all time favorite movies. I was so happy to see him, but I had these snippy moments. This is all still new to me and sometimes I just don't think I know how to behave. It is some sort of social retardation, I'm sure. Plus, as you all know, I way, way, way overthink things.

- I just finished two good books in quick succession. One was Generation A by Douglas Coupland. The second was Blood Lite. Now what? What? I need something to read.

- I got Christmas lists for the babies and Daniel texted me one yesterday. I LOVE when people tell me what they want. As I've mentioned, if I am not told...or am told to just do my best...well. Hm. I just don't do well. That hurts us both. So please take pity and let me express my love for you through a gift that I know you want! Are any of you known for your awesome gift-giving abilities? If you are, is there some kind of trick to it? I mean, besides "listening" or "getting to know" someone. Those don't work for me, apparently. Thank you.

- Coming up...I am supposed to go shopping with my mom and sister this Friday. It is traditional that we take at least one day to go all together. I am going to have to dig pretty deep to achieve the right attitude for this. Luckily, I have a couple of days to work myself up for it.

Guess that is all for now.   Oh, and it is raining, which I hate.  I know that a world without rain would be uninhabitable.  I actually get that, people.  But I still hate it.  See how grouchy it has made me?  Grrrr.  :-)

PS- I am lablahblah.  But you can call me laura, or laura b., or l.b. or hey you...whatever.  I am just sort of unifying my internet self with itself.  Or something like that.

This Musical Message is for Lady Luck

Ho Ho Holiday Party, City Employee Style

I am like a little orphan child on this first Saturday in over two years with no Saturday Scavenger Hunt to post! I feel compelled to show you pictures, so guess what? You get to have a rare glimpse into the fabulous City of Arcadia Employee Holiday Party! Yes, it is very early in the season for a "holiday" party. We assume it is so that it doesn't interfere with more fun and interesting obligations later in the month.

The nice thing is there is a good dinner and many raffle prizes. But it is also where employees are recognized for 5, 10, 15, etc years of service. They only do actual presentations for people with 20 or more years. This particular time there were about 15 people being recognized. This one lady at the library...let's call her Drama Queen, actually has 35 years. Guh. Although I guess if I'm lucky, in 27 years that will be me. Okay, anyway, the supervisors handing out the awards tended to go on and on and on. Sort of like me, here, now...but times it by 15 people, okay. Yeah. But parts of it were fun! Here look:

They got some snow or something snow-like to cover the ground outside the community center. Festive, eh? For those of you who live in snow, let me assure you that it quickly melted away and we didn't have to do any pesky shoveling or putting chains on our cars or anything. It was just for prettiness!

Oh, don't I look dapper by these giant lollipops? This was after the award presentations. You are witnessing relief and elation.

On the way out, Milly and I snagged a passing Good Samaritan to photograph us in front of the "holiday" tree. Nothing says Happy Holidays like a tree!

Thank you for joining me on this little stab at Saturday normalcy. I know I'll get over the Scavenger Hunt some day. But until then expect pictures. Thank you.

Friday 5 - Finale

I decided to do a Friday 5 this week, so I went to look at the site. I didn't do it last week and when I saw what this week's was...well, I liked last week's more. So, technically this is from a week ago. But you know, not really. It is this week's here. So. Yeah. Please feel free to play along on your blog or in comments. You know I love comments. But not in any sort of unnatural way, so don't worry.

1.What television series finale did you particularly enjoy? Hands down, I have to go with the Six Feet Under series finale. Amazing and perfect. Yes, it made me cry, but tv and movie crying is okay.

2.What television series finale did you think was a disservice to the series as a whole? Ah, that's easy...Seinfeld! L.D., you got me all twisted! What were you thinking? haha!

3.What is your favorite dessert? Sweet, delicious ice cream. The perfect finale to any meal. Mint chocolate chip, p-p-p-please!

4.What were the circumstances surrounding your most dramatic exit from a room? Aw, that doesn't sound like me! I am not all that dramatic for the most part. Sure, I have done some storming, but I am hard pressed to think of anything really dramatic. Sad! Maybe I need more drama in my life? Well, no...

5.If you could choose any symbolic way to end 2009, how would you end it? All in all it hasn't been a bad year for me, personally. In fact, there have been some amazing things that have happened this year. For the world, in general...well, times are tough. But I think I'd want to say good bye to this year nicely. Give it a nice meal and a cup of coffee and send it on its way with a warm hug.

Thanks for participating, and have a wonderful weekfinale!

Toast. Just Another Breakfast Carb?

I wanted to celebrate today's Eclectic Holiday with a good toast! Seemed like a natural, given yesterday's Choose and Defend, and my incredible sense of humor. I mean...toast! Um. Anyway, I decided to copy Tara herself and give you a Seinfeld-er...this one is a George :-)

"Toasting makes me uncomfortable. But toast I love. Never start the day without a good piece of toast. In fact, let's toast to toast."Cheers for years, my dears!

Put 'Em All Together With a How-Do-Ya-Do

I am not continuing yesterday's rant today...because today is Choose and Defend Wednesday! A happy time for Choosing. A celebration of the ability to Defend. Still, something about the upsetting incident did inspire today's post. You'll spot it right off, because you're quick like that :-) Anyway, your choice for today involves delicious breakfast carbs! And you get to decide which is your favorite...an explanation of WHY it is your favorite is always welcome on Wednesdays...and any other day, really.

So, what'll it be, dearie?

Pancakes

WafflesOR

French Toast

Choose and Defend! No secret trip required to play! Thanks xo

Chemistry

Dang, I get so tired of being at the mercy of my brain and body's chemistry. I was feeling good, doing fine, but by late evening yesterday I was a wreck over things I can't control.

My kids had an entire week's vacation last week. Yesterday, first day back to school after a week off, WTG decides it is time for him to have a little vacation and decides Handsome Lad should accompany him. Without telling me, let alone asking me, he takes Handsome Lad off to Big Bear. I only found out because Handsome Lad finally answered my call as I was leaving work yesterday night. I knew he was out of school, because the school called me to let me know. But then, NO ONE would answer me! Well, WTG and Handsome Lad didn't. And apparently no one else had been told anything. So all day long I had to wonder what was going on. I mean, I knew that HL wasn't home (at WTG's) and I knew they were together...I wasn't scared like he'd actually disappeared...but I was upset that he was out of school and I didn't know anything about it. Then last night, when HL finally answered and told me he was in Big Bear with his dad...well, I felt pretty angry and helpless. Not out loud to Handsome Lad. It's not his fault and he is devoted to his dad. Just inside. And that helplessness has me all weepy and feeling out of control.

That is my rant for today. I know I have some reason to be upset, but I also feel like it is partly just chemical. Because when my defenses get down like that, so many other things bother or hurt me that shouldn't. Hopefully today will be better. Or at least I better pull myself together. I'm trying to let chemistry work for me, but sometimes it seems to make it worse...not better.

Movies and Stuff

Even though I worked on Saturday, I still have the sensation of returning to work sort of fresh. I did still get three days off, so I guess that can do it. Now, only three more weeks until the kids get their winter break. I am taking the week off between Christmas and New Years and I canNOT wait.

Thursday was a nice day. As I sort of mentioned in my Saturday post, we went to my dad and stepmom's house. That all went well and made for a nice celebration. Afterward, Girlie Girl and I went out to a movie with Kick Back Dude and Princess Diva. Kick Back Dude wanted 2012, Princess Diva wanted Blind Sides. I voted for Precious and won! We all really liked it, although it was very intense and had parts that were difficult to watch.

DR came over on Friday and we watched this awesome movie called Anvil: the Story of Anvil. It was so sweet and charming. You don't have to be a heavy metal fan to enjoy this movie. Everyone mentions Spinal Tap when they mention Anvil and that works...but Anvil is so much better because it is real!

Saturday I worked, but that evening DR and I went to this Stooges film festival.
It was held in this beautiful old theater in Glendale. They showed several shorts, including one in 3-D. Some of the Howards were there and apparently stayed around after to talk to fans. We weren't there for that, but it was a really fun evening. I like going places with DR. We are sort of homebodies it seems, but it is nice when we find something we really want to go out and do.

Yesterday, no movies, per say. We just vegged on the couch watching episodes of A Bit of Fry and Laurie. Funny :-) We were both very drowsy though and probably missed stuff. Oh well...what else is Sunday afternoon for?

I hope you all had a good long weekend and are ready to face the madness ahead that is the holiday season. Maybe tomorrow I will share with you my thoughts on that particular uh, pleasure. Ciao for now!

This Musical Message is for Our Wonderful World

We've Been Good, But We Can't Last

First, I need to apologize as this week's tag got a bit fumbled. Dmarks intended to tag Ananda Girl and told me that. I think I was meant to pass that on to her, but didn't and by Thursday morning I was going Uh-oh! I had a quick chat conference with the Alien and he made the executive decision to just put up a word...that word, of course...LATE. Sorry about the mix up guys...but good word, right? Better LATE than never? I think so.

On Thanksgiving, we ended up running a little LATE. Girlie Girl had her regular hair straightening ritual, then we had to go by and pick up both my mom and Miss Personality. It was the four generation girl car. Kick Back Dude had the rest of his family, including Princess Diva's mom who was in town. And of course, before we all set off we had to stop for a road snack or two. So yeah, we were running a little LATE.
Here is my dad and stepmom's house, where we finally did arrive...really only the tiniest bit LATE.

Right before our Thanksgiving meal was served, my dad had to stand and give a little speech. He does it every year and never seems to get any better at it. It starts off kind of like a blessing, but this year devolved into him quizzing Girlie Girl about why the pilgrims came to begin with, talking about soldiers, which I guess is nice, and he always ends with wishing us a safe drive home, which makes us feel like we should be leaving soon.

You can see the little guys just gather around the chips...their lunch was LATE :-)

Anyway, in spite of some LATE activities, it turned out to be a very nice day. Have you been LATE for anything LATEly? Hope some of you get to play, in spite of the LATE arrival of the word. And thanks for stopping by and right on time, too!

I Am Thankful

I am thankful for my family...my children, grandchildren, parents, sister, niece, and nephews. Our blood and our love binds us in complicated ways that we can never explain. There is nothing like this helpless, pure love with its deep comfort and occasional pain.

I am thankful for the family of my heart...my friends. Some of them I see often, some of them I have never met face to face. But they give my life its...life! My heart, mind, and soul are so enriched by each and every one of my friends.


Happy Thanksgiving! Enough mush, let's eat!

Gobble it Up and Ask for More!

Special Note: Congratulations to Ananda Girl! You chose Donny Osmond as the winner in Dancing with the Stars and last night he was handed the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy! Congratulations, Donny! I love you! And congratulations to Ananda Girl too! You have won a $25 Target gift card. Email me at lalaura.b@gmail.com and tell me where to send it :-) And thanks very, very much to all of you who participated. It made watching the show even more fun for me.

Now onward...

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and today is Choose and Defend Wednesday. I wanted to somehow give you a Thanksgiving-y choice, but couldn't come up with anything very interesting. Um, well, yes, I am aware that happens quite a lot and I ask anyway. But listen. Let's just go crazy and open this baby up. Instead of giving you two choices the world is your oyster! Or turkey. Or green bean casserole. Whatever.

This week, in honor of one of my very favorite holidays, will you please Choose the ONE thing, out of the many wonderful things in your life, that you are most thankful for. You don't even need to defend your choice this time. Because you just know in your heart what deserves that place of honor. So please, it would make me so happy to read about it...what are you most thankful for this year?

Fake Stuff is the Best!

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, accomplished Jai Alai champion and beloved opera singer, founded VMIIUGI in 1997, with one simple mission statement: to apply the values of synergy and human capital to business ventures and other fiduciary instruments as guidelines of the building blocks of corporate foundation as per ventures incorporated and such as.
Now a huge multi-national corporation, VMIIUGI is so big it's like maybe Von Matterhorn is a bad guy from a James Bond movie, except he's totally sweet and all of his body parts work normally.(Some of them above average. What up.) But he's not a bad guy. I mean, he's a little bad, drives a motorcycle, that kind of thing, but just the right amount of bad where he's not boring and maybe the right girl could turn him into a real catch. Boyfriend material, if we're being honest. But she'd have to be something really special. Like 36C at least.
Von Matterhorn is an industry leader in the manufacture of cute shoes, walk-in closets, chocolate, ponies, chocolate ponies, and female orgasms.

DR emailed me that and since I don't watch How I Met Your Mother, I didn't know what he was talking about. Sure, I wanted to meet this Lorenzo fellow, even if he was the creation of a creation. (^.^) Anyway, apparently Lorenzo Von Matterhorn was a Google phenom for a day or two last week :-) Made me laugh.

My other Fake boyfriend is this guy - He's milktastic.

For more fun, please feel free to visit dicktowel.com for all you It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia fans. Hello? Um, okay...guess that's just me. But anyway, fake stuff rules!

Let Your Freak Flag Fly

Today's Eclectic Holiday is Let Your Freak Flag Fly Day. Did you know this? Well, now you do. I think originally, as the term was used in a song, it was about men with long hair. But since the hippie days it has come to mean anything about yourself that is different or maybe even hidden. Your freak flag isn't a bad thing...but maybe just a bit unusual. Something that, at the heart, makes you YOU. At least that is how I've come to interpret it.

Anyway, since I wanted to celebrate today, I gave some thought to my own freak flag (s) and how I could fly them. What's my thang? I'm not a particularly unconventional person. But then again, even when I was younger I wasn't really the kind of person who cared all that much about being cool...and the fact that I even used the word "cool" probably says something too. After careful consideration, meet my freak flag. Watch it fly.

I think a lot of you have seen this, but it is a something about me that sets me apart a little bit. It is the circus that lives underneath my desk. Coincidentally, a part-time librarian from Reference just came over here, where she apparently never ventures, and had to note how "cluttered" my desk was. Uh, yeah, it is called creativity, beeyotch. haha!

Another different thing about me might be my slight obsession with bears. Especially ones who have been captured and are forced to perform for the crowd. I don't know. I relate. Maybe somewhere in my heart I just want to catch fish and poop outside. Okay, that was gross, sorry.

I hope you all had a freaky deaky weekend and are anticipating a tee-riffic Turkey Day. And don't be shy...show me your Freak Flag! Let it fly. I will only respect you more, I promise.

This Musical Message is For Believing That Planet Earth Turns Slowly

I Can Listen to You, It Keeps Me Stable for Nights

My first thought when Dmarks gave us this week's Saturday Scavenger Hunt word involved a certain Mr. Ric Ocasak and his band. You know...The CARS. Yes, this week's word is CARS. Gary Neuman sang about them, we drive them (or at least ride in them), and the American industry that builds them has been famously or infamously "bailed out". I live in Southern California, so they are everywhere.

See? This is what I might be looking at on my way to work. CARS, CARS, and more CARS. Yes, I did take that while driving. No that is not so safe, sorry. I refrained from photographing the many lots selling CARS that I pass by each day. So there's that.

Sometimes CARS make life fun. Driving can give you a chance to think, listen to music, or talk to whoever might be along for the ride. Yesterday, Friday, I went to the grocery store with Milly at lunchtime. We listened to The Chipmunks Christmas CD. Me, I want a hula hoop. It was the first thing that has made me feel at all holiday-ish, so kudos to CARS I say!

Finally, sometimes SNL is still funny. This skit from last week about parents, teens, and CARS made me laugh...

You saw my CARS. You were very well behaved and did not distract the driver, so I thank you. All that is left now, is to see who Dmarks will tag for next week's Hunt :-)

Friday 5 - Book Titles

This week’s Friday 5 incorporates one of my favorite things...books, of course! I couldn't pass it up.

Here is the Friday 5 author's comment: Each of this week’s questions is the title (modified, in a couple of cases) of a well-known book. Just, you know, do your best. The final comment was: I’ve got a feeling these will not be received warmly…

But I like them! And I hope you will too. Feel free to blog them or respond in comments or talk to me about your weekend or anything else. I'm here for you.

1.What color is your parachute? It changes. You've seen it
:-) Some days it is a bright, sunny yellow. I prefer that and work on maintaining it. Sometimes the yellow fades to dull, cloudy gray and I have to throw that pup in the wash and give it some tender loving care so it can glow again.

2.Who moved your cheese? The better question would be...who didn't? Everyone I encounter, even casually, has the potential to move my cheese! Um, that just means "change my life" in this context. When I read it again, my mind went to a naughty place and I didn't want y'all to think I'm an easy Earth girl or something...

3.Where’s Waldo? Continuing to fight his banishment for appearing alongside a tanning topless woman at the beach. You must remember, you are the company you keep. *sigh*

4.Are you my mother? Not unless you are one of five very specific people :-)

5.What’s happening to your body? Well, quite frankly I couldn't say for certain. I know it is mine. I'm wearing it. But I'm not sure what is going on! haha! Aw, I'm kidding, sort of. My body has sort of maintained a certain status quo since after my second or third child came along. It is strong and useful and has a certain charm if you are into the rounder side of life, I guess.

I hope you all have a bee-ay-you-tee-full weekend. Tomorrow...CARS! And now...Home, James! Ta!