What An Exciting Day!

My week, contrary to my dire feelings at the beginning, is getting better! This morning I put on a special storytime for the toddlers and preschoolers in honor of Read Across America! The best thing about it was the participation of our local fire fighters! The basic plan was for the fire fighters to come, talk to the kids, read a story or two and show the kids their rigs! Right at 10:30 am when they were scheduled to be here, they pulled into the parking lot...almost immediately I heard their sirens, and I thought, "Oh, cool! They are showing us their sirens and lights!" But as we watched, they raced out of the parking lot! Oh no! A real emergency! But the program had to go on! So, I got everyone settled in...there were about 100 people! We sang "Smoky", which is just like "Bingo" only with a fireman's dog instead of a farmers dog! We watched a short video called "Dot the Fire Dog"! I kept telling everyone how I sure hoped the fire fighters would be back soon! I told them that for now, they would have to listen to me read a story! I read one and still no fire fighters! Just as I got a couple of pages into my second story they came walking in! We all cheered! At that point they took over for me, finished the book, read one more and answered questions! Then, the kids got to take a little snack of Teddy Grahams and Juicy Juice and head out to the fire truck for a tour! It was so exciting for the kids, who were mostly 2-5 year olds! The program turned out to be a huge success, but it was touch and go for a while there! My mind was racing with ways to redeem the program with no actual fire fighters there! Luckily, I didn't have to make candy rain from the sky or anything like that!
So, you see?!?!?! Things really are getting better this week!

You might be thinking, "There a lot of exclamation points in this post!" You can thanks Tara over at Eclectic Spaghetti for that! It is a holiday and I am observing it!

When I Was a Band Geek

I don't play an instrument, but in my high school days I was still a band geek. Well, sort of. I was in Drill Team, which is sort of an auxilliary of band geekdom. I loved being in Drill Team! I liked learning the routines for football fields, basketball courts, and parade routes. I liked traveling around with my friends on those teenage body smelling buses. I liked the uniforms we wore. I liked the other girls in the Drill Team. Most of them at least. Sure there was always the odd bitch or two, but nothing unmanagable. I liked hanging out with the Band and the other auxilliary Pagentry people (Tall Flags, Rifles, Sheilds). I had many little flirtations and those tiny relationships that you have when you are in your younger teen years with clarinet players and drummers. Gerard, my first love, played the French horn... I was a really good student in high school and a nice girl, you know? I made a very concerted effort to get to know different people and not to limit myself to any one little clique. But, being on Drill Team took up a lot of my time and sort of defined me in some ways. I honestly have so many good memories of high school, which I know is a mine field for some people, so I feel lucky.
Now, when I go to football games or parades and I hear that band music and see the pagentry, it always brings a little well of emotion. Easy tears spring up in my eyes and I have to catch my breath. It is silly, I know. But when I was a band geek, life was pretty good. Who were you in high school?

Trouble Right Here in River City

There seems to be some bad juju in the air around me. On the home front the WTG is losing what's left of his mind. I am once again thinking that I am going to have to take the big step and make a move. This is the one life that I've been given now and I really don't want to waste it walking on egg shells. On the work front the sort of #2 person in my department also seems to be falling apart. She's been willing to take on less work instead of more over the two or so years that she's been here. She acts pissed off most of the time with the patrons and seems to begrudge the services that we perform for them. She doesn't want to to commit to any long term projects, because she says she "gets bored" and "needs new things to do". Uh hello, how about doing what is in your job description? I don't think it is OUR job to make sure she is entertained, plus I was always told that boredom is the curse of the dull minded...or something like that. The Principal Librarian in the department knows she needs to deal with her, but I know she is almost as non-confrontational as I am. She, however, doesn't have that luxury, being the Boss and all.
So, this week is starting off rough, but I am ready to kick some ass and take some names, you know?

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

Yeah, thats a shout out to the Bay City Rollers. Wanna make something of it? My muscial influences are wide and varied. haha! Anyway, here it is another Saturday at work. It is so beautiful outside. The sky is such a clear, stunning blue that it almost makes me want to cry. I made sure to eat my lunch outside as a sanity saving measure. Still it is one of those days when it is a shame to be stuck inside.
Days like this make me even happier than usual that Daylight Savings Time is returning earlier this year. I love being able to walk out the door here at 6 and still have sunshine!
I just started a new book, very fluffy, called The Tuesday Erotica Club. In my defense, lack of much of an actual erotic life leads me to such things. A girl has to get her kicks somehow!
I have been searching for satisfying musical offerings, but I seem to be betwixt and between at the moment. Just waiting for Arcade Fire's Neon Bible, due out March 6. So far, I've heard only the one single they've released, Black Mirror, and I'm liking it. Watch them on SNL tonight!
Hope you are all having a good weekend. If you aren't working, give yourself a +1. If you are -5. If you will be attending or have attended a party this weekend, give yourself +5. If your highlight will be reading the big Sunday paper, -3. If you go out to a movie take a +2. If you watch a movie on DVD, meh, give yourself a +1 for at least trying to amuse yourself. If you sleep in one or more mornings give yourself 5 bonus points for each day. If you spend that extra time in bed productively give yourself +10. Okay, I forgot where I was going with this
:-) Hmmmmmm......

Ash Wednesday

I am not a Catholic, but I couldn't help noticing that today is Ash Wednesday. This marks the beginning of Lent, a time of penance. I remember as a kid how a lot of my friends would give up candy for Lent. I admired the resolve of the ones who actually stuck to it. I have found over the years that giving up things you really enjoy is hard! I would suspect some people give things up for Lent that they aren't that attached to to begin with, but that would seem pretty petty of me. So, in thinking about all of this, I also began thinking about what would be appropriate for someone, say, like me, to give up as a penance for my sins. I can think of several things that it would be very difficult for me to give up for the next 40 days. If you were going to give something up for Lent...or if you do actually participate....what would you give up? Your thoughts on this, please!

She's One Sorry Sack of....

I meant to come back today after my nice three day weekend and write a fun, interesting blog entry. Today got stupid busy though, and it didn't happen. So, I apologize. Don't give up on me though. Tomorrow is bound to be a better day. I'm just a cockeyed optimist like that.

Time Wasting Links

These are where I go when I want to mindlessly kill time. They are probably places you already know. Do you...

Wanna play with balls? http://www.internetpei.com/balls/
Like to draw like Picasso? http://www.mrpicassohead.com/create.html
Long to make up new South Park characters? http://www.sp-studio.de/
Enjoy listening to new music? http://www.pandora.com/?cmd=tuner

Resuming Normal Functions

I am so glad it is the day AFTER my birthday. I get way too weird on my birthday, for some reason. Now I can relax for a whole 'nother year. Milly took me out for my slightly belated birthday lunch at Leroy's today. She managed to be excused from her jury panel. Yay!
What else, what else....I am enjoying looking a pictures of snow on other people's blogs. I have never lived where it snows, although I can go visit the snow with about an hours drive. It is hard for me to imagine sometimes, yet I know people who live in most parts of the U.S. deal with snow at one point or another to varying degrees during the year. I also understand that many people who move here from other places really miss having actual seasons very deeply.
And...lets see...I am reading a really good book called A Wedding in December.
Thats about all I have to offer up on the blogging alter :-)

Hearts, Flowers, Candy...

It is that special day again. Valentine's Day is known far and wide as a pretty bogus Hallmark holiday. Some women use this day as a sort of barometer for their whole relationship. If the man in their life doesn't give the right gift, they are surely doomed. I've never felt that way, but still I can't help but have a special place in my heart for Valentine's Day. Forty-four years ago, on a Valentine's Day in Phoenix, Arizona I came into the world butt first. Once you become an adult, your birthday becomes a much smaller deal, as it should. It is still very gratifying to be remembered on the one "holiday" that is yours alone. It made me feel good that all five of my kids remembered that it is my birthday. It seems little enough to ask, right? But it is a alot in some ways, because kids are busy and tend to be rather self centered. So, when something about someone else enters their peripheral vision I can't help but be pleased. None of the so called "men" in my life are acknowledging today. WTG isn't talking to me right now and I'm actually very cool with that. The Swordsman responded back to my Happy Valentine's card, but didn't remember my birthday. No word from Team C, quel surprise. I did get a birthday card from Gerard last week and a Valentine today asking how my birthday was...so he was in the ballpark at least. I guess I shouldn't be keeping track like this or even worrying about who pays proper homage to me...its rather pathetic, isn't it? Ah well. I did get a gorgeous cake and lovely wishes over at Tara's. That really was a day brightener. Also the people in my dept at work have been very nice and I am expecting to eat chocolate cake at our staff meeting in about 90 minutes. Unfortunately, my best friend Millocent was at jury duty today and not available to enjoy a festive lunch and dance party with me. I treated myself to a nice Subway sandwich though. And I listened to the dance music mix that Milly gave me on Monday. She titled it "Studio 44" and has some current music that has to do with dancing...like Arctic Monkeys "I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor" and Kings of Convenience "I'd Rather Dance with You"...but most of it is very disco era. Lots of fun...I had never stopped to realize how pervasive disco was during my high school years.
So anyway...Hearts, flowers, and candy. Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Hiawatha

This girl I used to know said "Hiawatha!" when she was aggravated by someting. I had a rather aggravating day yesterday so - Hiawatha! I was supposed to go out to brunch with a couple of friends...a little ladies Sunday brunch. However at the last possible moment WTG said that he had plans and I would need to take Handsome Lad with me. None of the alternatives I suggested would do. Well, okay...but then, when Girlie Girl heard Handsome Lad was going she wanted to go as well, and why wouldn't she? It was clearly no longer and adults only event. I wouldn't have minded taking the kids so much, but it did feel unfair for me to show up with half my family in tow when my friends were expecting a nice dishy brunch. So, I ended up cancelling on them. They understood, as everyone is used to me flaking out at the last minute. I ended up just taking the kids and Kick Back Dude and his family out for lunch. It was nice, but just not what I'd had in mind. My mantra is "You brought this on yourself and now you have to deal with it." I say it to myself over and over, because it puts the blame for everything squarely on me, which helps me feel more in control for some reason. My goal is to make my way out of the swamp of my own bad decisions. Like the AA people say - one day at a time.

Photographic Evidence

I have posted pictures on this blog now and again, so you can see what my hair looked like before. This is how it looks after last night's epiphany:

The Haircut

Hairstyles had come up a bit in conversation here in the blogging world. I noted that I have had long hair for many years now, mainly because I wasn't sure what else I would want to do with it...so for the past eight years or so it has simply grown and grown. I have nice hair. When I was growing up, in the 70's, there was still a trend towards swingy, pin straight hair...followed by Farrah's disco era feathers, and the big hair of the 80's, etc. Sometimes my hair has cooperated with the trends, other times not so much. My hair is very thick, rather coarse, wavy, and dark brown. I tend to get compliments on my hair, especially as it got longer. I do know that for probably the past five years or so I have had the feeling of sort of using my hair as a cloaking device. Part of me was hoping it would be the only thing people would see when they looked at me, because nothing else about me seems to be so noteworthy. Still, I had been feeling like I needed a change lately. The catalyst for this particular change was when someone, who doesn't think particularly highly of me (and the feeling is mutual), told me that my hair was really the only attractive thing about me. I can't say I felt hurt exactly...more angry I suppose. It made me realize though, that I had more or less been thinking the same thing and it suddenly didn't seem right that I should do that to myself. So, I took the one good thing about me (no, I'm not going to believe that...) and cut it off! I guess it is a good thing my best feature wasn't my long legs - haha! At any rate, My hair is now much shorter, graduating from chin to shoulder length in a sort of little slightly layered bob. It actually feels great and I think it looks good too. I am getting a picture up on my computer and will probably post it if anyone cares to see it. Now, me and everyone else will have to find other things to like about me and I think I'm okay with that.

Easiest Birdfeeder Ever

I am playing along with Tara on this fine Build a Birdfeeder Day
:-)


What you need to get started:

Large, open, dry evergreen cone
String or wire
Peanut butter
Knife or other spreading utensil
Small seeds or oatmeal
Bowl

Directions:

Tie string or wire onto base of cone.
Use knife to spread peanut butter on cone, partially filling it.
Roll cone in seeds, or oatmeal, in bowl. Seeds will stick to peanut butter and cover cone.
Hang in tree.
Keep an eye out for all those hungry birds!

My Newest Mix CD

1. Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen (I’m burnin’ through the sky, yeah!)
2. Dancing Queen – Abba (With a bit of rock music, everything is fine)
3. New Frontier – Donald Fagan (We’ve got to have some music on the new frontier)
4. My Old School – Steely Dan (I hear the whistle, but I can’t go)
5. Here It Goes Again – OK GO (It starts out easy, something simple, something sleazy)
6. All You Ever Think About is Sex – Sparks (Alright with me)
7. One Horse Town – The Thrills (Oh I never should have settled down)
8. Falling in the Ocean – Blue October (I’m sinking to the bottom of my everything that freaks me out)
9. Wonderboy – Tenacious D (What about the power to move you?)
10. Ms. Jackson – Outkast (You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather)
11. Save Tonight – Eagle Eye Cherry (and fight the break of dawn)
12. You Have Killed Me – Morrissey (I entered nothing and nothing entered me)
13. A Plea from a Cat Named Virtute – Weakerthans (About those bitter songs you sing)
14. The Way – Fastball (The children woke up and they couldn’t find them)
15. We’ve Been Had – The Walkmen (Sometimes I’m just happy I’m older)
16. If I Had a Million Dollars – Barenaked Ladies (I’d buy your love)
17. Walkie Talkie Man – Steriogram (And you wave your torch with your black short shorts)
18. Your Racist Friend – They Might be Giants (Can’t shake the devils hand and say you’re only kidding)
19. I am a Man of Constant Sorrow – Soggy Bottom Boys (For in this world I’m bound to ramble)

Nothing too terribly cutting edge on there. This one is mainly made up of reliable favorites of mine.

Everytime I make a Mix CD now I think of the book Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield.

High Anxiety

I'm just getting ready to go in and do a storytime and I am suddenly feeling anxious. It isn't about storytime...I don't think it is about work at all. I'm not sure what it is. Lawd, I hate when this happens! I am pretty noted for my calmness and pronounced lack of that weird nervous energy that some people give off. Still, I have these moments and they feel like doom.

How Normal Am I?

You Are 70% Normal

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal You're like most people most of the time But you've got those quirks that make you endearing You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

How Normal Are You?

Very reassuring ;-)

First Love

This time of year always makes me think of the first boy I ever really loved. Let's call him Gerard. Our birthdays are very close together, plus there is Valentine's Day and it somehow seems to be "our" season or somthing. Can you really be in love when you are 17? I have to say yes. Even after all these years, I can believe that that was genuine love. There is nothing like first love...we taught each other things and were more open than people tend to be as they grow up. And even though it ended it a typical sloppy, dramatic teenage way I never held it against either one of us...after all, we were still learning. After we broke up, we lost contact for many years. I know that for my part, I thought of him fondly. First love takes on a very bittersweet glow as the years pass. About seven years ago or so, we found each other again on classmates.com and began writing back and forth. We were even sort of able to clean up the messy ends and renew all of the completely positive feelings that we'd had for one another. Since that time, we have stayed in touch through email. We've even gotten together in person a couple of times, but we live a couple of hours apart, we each have children, he fairly recently got married, so it is all about friendship now. Something about my relationship with Gerard gives me hope, though. Even though my longest, most permanent seeming relationship has failed (my marriage), I think of Gerard and the way it felt to love someone before I had ever really been hurt or disappointed and I feel renewed. I know that love could never be quite like that again, as by now we all have our baggage...but I also know that on some level that purity and depth exists. So Gerard gave me the gift of a wonderful first love and he also gives me the gift of believing that there is still love out there in the world for me, for him, for anyone who really wants it.

I Almost Forgot - Happy Groundhog Day!

Here is the official forecast right from the groundhog's mouth, so to speak.

Greetings from Punxsutawney!

Phil Says Spring is Right Around the Corner!
Phil's official forecast as read 2/2/07 at 7:28 a.m. at Gobbler's Knob:


El Nino has caused high winds, heavy snow, ice and freezing temperatures in the west.
Here in the East with much mild winter weather we have been blessed.

Global warming has caused a great debate.
This mild winter makes it seem just great.

On this Groundhog Day we think of one thing.
Will we have winter or will we have spring?

On Gobbler's Knob I see no shadow today.
I predict that early spring is on the way.

What Color Should My Eyes Be?

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

I like the idea of having depth, wisdom, and a tender heart...but my real life eyes aren't the least little bit brown. They are blue.

Lemonheads

Here is my playing along with Tara and the gang photo of a food label. I had this unopened bag of Lemonheads in my desk drawer. They aren't unopened anymore. Mmmmmmm....Lemonheady goodness....

Who is Team C?

If you read my blog, you will come across the occasional reference to Team C. He just pops up randomly now and again as someone I had a long lunch with, generally. So, who is he and what is he to me? He is, in simple terms, a friend with benefits. Now, don't go thinking "l.b., you are such a ho!" I am a nice girl, really. However, I am a nice girl with a homelife that makes it supremely difficult to actually date in a traditional way. It would just be too hard and weird at this point. Still, I am a grown woman...I've done my time, you know? I am not quite ready to enter the convent or anything, so I have worked out this sort of compromise for myself. I get to have a couple hours of fun and comfort every once in a while without disrupting the household, the job, the anything.
I've known Team C for about two and a half years, and while there may be an element of us using each other, there is also understanding and trust between us.
So, I saw Team C today and anyone who wants a favor should ask now while I am in a good mood! Booya.

I Officially Suck

I was just looking at my blog and suddenly the dates struck me...I realized that yesterday was my dad's birthday and I so did not call him. I didn't send him a card, I didn't do anything!
A 'day after your birthday' phone call won't feel quite so special, I am sure, but probably better than nothing, right?
Yikes I feel so bad now! But I am going to hold on the the more positive feelings I had only moments ago and persever!

A Good Day After All

Today didn't start off so great. I had a bit of a time this morning getting Girlie Girl and Handsome Lad out of the house. Then when I got here, I heard that one of my co-workers was out sick...again. I wanted to keep a good attitude though, because today is my little bear friend Milly's birthday. Things picked up when I took her gifts over to her desk. We had some coffee and a brief dance party to celebrate. Later, we took our lunches together and went to the yummy LeRoy's. Then, just a few minutes ago I spoke to Team C and we are getting together tomorrow. Since the last time we met, a little over 3 weeks ago, I was in a weird mood I am really looking forward to seeing him tomorrow in a better frame of mind. Though I never thought that we could lose there's no regret. If I had to do the same again I would, my friend...