The Swordsman called me today, because I sent him a message yesterday saying I wasn't sure it was such a good idea for us to be getting together at this point. I felt so much better after I talked to him. He said he'd been having some doubts too and we agreed that a lot of it was brought on by simply not having the time to be in touch all that much. It becomes hard to maintain that connection...but I think we want to try. We do have something between us that is uniquely ours and it may just be worth seeing what happens next.
With that said, we decided to get together, face to face, next week and just take stock of the situation.
I'm just about out of here for the weekend. You guys have a good one, okay?
Friday, April 28, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Conflicted
I am feeling very conflicted right now. As I noted, I saw Team C yesterday and it was, as always, incredibly awesome. I also noted that I was feeling sort of over the Swordsman. It was as though not talking to him as much weaned me off of the high I was getting from him, and in the clear light of day it is looking to me like he's more trouble than he's worth. I know he wants to get together soon, as for a variety of reasons it has been quite a while since we have actually gotten together. He wrote this morning trying to set something up, but it is easy for me to subtly blow him off, because everything is always about his comfort and convenience. Yes, he has been very patient with me in the past when I've had issues, but he can also be very...self-serving. Not that I condemn that...I mean, I can be one of the most self-serving people you'll ever meet. But I don't know...I guess that particular trait is just not appealing to me right now in others...and since this is supposed to be about fun and pleasure, I'm not all that inclined to do things the way HE wants for HIS convenience. At the same time, the thought of giving him up completely is hard. I might not have a choice though, because neither one of us is going to stand for the limbo we've been in for the past couple of months. I just don't know yet how to handle this, but I'm sure it will come to me.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Now My Sound Is...
....aaaahhhh...mmmmmm...*sigh*....
Can I just say that I feel great? Cause I really do.
Can I just say that I feel great? Cause I really do.
Ka-Thump
That is the sound my little black heart makes when I think of my soon to be realized secret mission with Team C. Ka-Thump, Ka-Thump, Ka-Thump.....
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Busy Me
I am not really a busy person, I just play one on tv. I am not really on tv, I just have the exterior life and the interior life. I am portraying a busy person to the world, but I am not so terribly busy, really :-)
Since Master Swordsman has been back from his vacation he has been sort of trying to track me down and I have been sort of trying to avoid him. Probably not permanently, but right at this moment the whole thing is seeming pretty played out, you know? I think I need him to persuade me that it isn't, but he'll have to get creative to do that...and I guess I am curious about whether he's up to the challenge.
In other manly news, I haven't yet heard from Team C, so don't know if tomorrow is happening or not. I am sort of hoping that he'll call and say Thursday is better (because it is for me), but I can definitely make some accomodations for the Team.
I am still listening heavily to Morrissey. Plus, I have become re-enamored of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. I can let that pup blow through my speakers all day! My personal faves are the single, "Heavy Metal Drummer", "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart", and "I'm the Man Who Loves You". It inspires me to break out my Mermaid Avenue I & II and some Billy Bragg for good measure. Everything leads to something else.
I have had a brief book break between finishing Watch Your Mouth and beginning Adverbs. I am also planning to re-read True Enough, while I wait for Alternatives to Sex to become available.
So, see busy me?
Since Master Swordsman has been back from his vacation he has been sort of trying to track me down and I have been sort of trying to avoid him. Probably not permanently, but right at this moment the whole thing is seeming pretty played out, you know? I think I need him to persuade me that it isn't, but he'll have to get creative to do that...and I guess I am curious about whether he's up to the challenge.
In other manly news, I haven't yet heard from Team C, so don't know if tomorrow is happening or not. I am sort of hoping that he'll call and say Thursday is better (because it is for me), but I can definitely make some accomodations for the Team.
I am still listening heavily to Morrissey. Plus, I have become re-enamored of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. I can let that pup blow through my speakers all day! My personal faves are the single, "Heavy Metal Drummer", "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart", and "I'm the Man Who Loves You". It inspires me to break out my Mermaid Avenue I & II and some Billy Bragg for good measure. Everything leads to something else.
I have had a brief book break between finishing Watch Your Mouth and beginning Adverbs. I am also planning to re-read True Enough, while I wait for Alternatives to Sex to become available.
So, see busy me?
Monday, April 24, 2006
So, Tell Me About Yourself
I got this 'getting to know you' questionnaire from Lemon Life. I lurk around her blog, (as well as many others) and love to get in on things like this. Makes me feel that I belong :-) You can play too. Just cut and paste what you see here onto your blog, get rid of my answers and put in your own...most importantly, make sure you leave a comment for me, linking to your answers! If I am not mistaken, I actually did something very similar a while back, but NOBODY participated with me. Yeargh...here. Don't make me beg!
Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Camp counselor
2. Fast Food Slave
3. Retail/Cashier/Stocker
4. Library Technician
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Zoolander
2. This is Spinal Tap
3. Office Space
4. Waiting for Guffman
Four places you have lived:
1. Phoenix, AZ (born)
2. La Puente, CA (raised)
3. Los Vegas, NV
4. Los Angeles, CA
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. The Sopranos
2. Big Love
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Huff
Four Places you have been on Vacation:
1. Grand Canyon
2. Yosemite
3. Las Vegas
4. San Diego
Four websites you visit daily:
1. My List of Favorite Blogs...
2. Gmail
3. Amazon
4. My library's site
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Pasta
2. Raw carrots
3. Ice cream
4. anything chocolate
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. A coffee shop
2. A bookstore or library (that I wasn't working at!)
3. At home
4. A peaceful, sunny beach
Four friends I am tagging that I think will respond:
1. I'm tagging anyone who reads this!
2. Please
3. Please
4. Please
Four Places you'd love to visit:
1. Australia
2. Ireland
3. Italy
4. Spain
Four foods you don't like:
1. Meat that seems to much like...meat
2. Beets
3. Mushrooms
4. Cheesecake
Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Camp counselor
2. Fast Food Slave
3. Retail/Cashier/Stocker
4. Library Technician
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Zoolander
2. This is Spinal Tap
3. Office Space
4. Waiting for Guffman
Four places you have lived:
1. Phoenix, AZ (born)
2. La Puente, CA (raised)
3. Los Vegas, NV
4. Los Angeles, CA
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. The Sopranos
2. Big Love
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Huff
Four Places you have been on Vacation:
1. Grand Canyon
2. Yosemite
3. Las Vegas
4. San Diego
Four websites you visit daily:
1. My List of Favorite Blogs...
2. Gmail
3. Amazon
4. My library's site
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Pasta
2. Raw carrots
3. Ice cream
4. anything chocolate
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. A coffee shop
2. A bookstore or library (that I wasn't working at!)
3. At home
4. A peaceful, sunny beach
Four friends I am tagging that I think will respond:
1. I'm tagging anyone who reads this!
2. Please
3. Please
4. Please
Four Places you'd love to visit:
1. Australia
2. Ireland
3. Italy
4. Spain
Four foods you don't like:
1. Meat that seems to much like...meat
2. Beets
3. Mushrooms
4. Cheesecake
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Almost Forgotten Friends
I am enjoying the way writing daily haikus makes me think about people that I used to know. For the most part, the memories are good, and even the ones that are not fully positive are, by this point, more bittersweet than painful.
It is odd, though, speaking of old friends...I got an email today from someone that I hadn't heard from in months. It was weird seeing his email address in my inbox. Also, it made me think of others that I have sort of lost track of. If I have time next week, I may make an effort to go through my contact list and sort of reconnect with those I have let drift. Of course, I could take the tack of "well, if they wanted to talk to me, they would!" But, I know that is not necessarily true. People just get busy. Someone on that list of people to catch up with could be very pleased to hear from me and wonder how time got away like it did. Does this make sense?
It is odd, though, speaking of old friends...I got an email today from someone that I hadn't heard from in months. It was weird seeing his email address in my inbox. Also, it made me think of others that I have sort of lost track of. If I have time next week, I may make an effort to go through my contact list and sort of reconnect with those I have let drift. Of course, I could take the tack of "well, if they wanted to talk to me, they would!" But, I know that is not necessarily true. People just get busy. Someone on that list of people to catch up with could be very pleased to hear from me and wonder how time got away like it did. Does this make sense?
Thursday, April 20, 2006
What is My Theme Song?
This says it all, does it not? Well...
| Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC |
 "Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last! |
Ringleader of the Tormentors
Isn't that a cool CD title? That is because Morrissey knows! I have put this into heavy rotation in the car and am absorbing all of its nuances through repeated listenings. Sure, he's not the most cheerful guy ever, but dude has soul! He feels things! And then, I get to feel things too! Thanks Morrissey
:-)
Oh, hey, on one of my egroups we were chiming in about our personal picks for Most Annoying Song Ever. I chose "My Heart Will Go On". What do you guys think?
I am still feeling rather irritated by my co-workers. Not a lot, just a little. I guess it is a good thing I have a day off tomorrow. Apparently I need it. I guess a lot of what I am feeling is just a result of my own super laid back sort of attitude. Sometimes they go on and on about things and I am just thinking "What is the big fucking deal here? We aren't doing brain surgery, rocket science or anything else that is life or death!" My not wanting to stress may actually be causing stress!
In good news though, I heard from Team C today and next week is looking good for a secret mission. Lawd, lawd, how I could use a good secret mission...
:-)
Oh, hey, on one of my egroups we were chiming in about our personal picks for Most Annoying Song Ever. I chose "My Heart Will Go On". What do you guys think?
I am still feeling rather irritated by my co-workers. Not a lot, just a little. I guess it is a good thing I have a day off tomorrow. Apparently I need it. I guess a lot of what I am feeling is just a result of my own super laid back sort of attitude. Sometimes they go on and on about things and I am just thinking "What is the big fucking deal here? We aren't doing brain surgery, rocket science or anything else that is life or death!" My not wanting to stress may actually be causing stress!
In good news though, I heard from Team C today and next week is looking good for a secret mission. Lawd, lawd, how I could use a good secret mission...
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Fast, So Make it Last
I didn't get a good chance to write a proper post today, but I definitely have it penciled in for tomorrow. I think I need another vacation from this place, because everyone is irritating me. Maybe a good night's sleep and some extra protein or something...I don't know. Maybe I just need to get laid. Well, yeah. I actually do, now that I mention it.
Okay, more tomorrow. xo
Okay, more tomorrow. xo
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
My Apologies
I want so much to post here as often as possible, but it turns out I wasn't kidding in my blog title...my life is so boring! It seems exceptionally dull right now. There is just nothing going on that makes compelling writing or reading.
I did finally finish that first Handler book and am moving on to the next one...although truthfully not that enthusiastically. Still, I am willing to try another by someone whom I want to like.
Um...lets see....Oh! I wanted to tell you that I have been listening to a couple of tracks off the new Death Cab for Cutie CD Plans. My favorite on repeat is "Crooked Teeth" and I am also loving "I Will Follow You Into the Dark". I do love these guys. Have you ever noticed that Ben Gibbard and Colin Meloy from the Decemberists kind of look alike? Cute boys.
I did finally finish that first Handler book and am moving on to the next one...although truthfully not that enthusiastically. Still, I am willing to try another by someone whom I want to like.
Um...lets see....Oh! I wanted to tell you that I have been listening to a couple of tracks off the new Death Cab for Cutie CD Plans. My favorite on repeat is "Crooked Teeth" and I am also loving "I Will Follow You Into the Dark". I do love these guys. Have you ever noticed that Ben Gibbard and Colin Meloy from the Decemberists kind of look alike? Cute boys.
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